UBRAR* 

UNIVERSITY  OF  CALBFO3 
DAVIS 


FLA 


ISAAC  FOOT  COLLEGTK 


ANTHONY  GROSS 

LINCOLN'S 
OWN    STORIES 


GARDEN     CITY     PUBLISHING     CO.,    INC, 
GARDEN    CITY,    NEW    YORK. 


LIBRARY 

Uf4 1 V E R S  FT v  or  /~  A  T 


COPYRIGHT,  1912,  BY  HARPER  &  BROTHERS.  ALL 
RIGHTS  RESERVED.  PRINTED  IN  THE  UNITED  STATES 
AT  THE  COUNTRY  LIFE  PRESS,  GARDEN  CITY,  N.  Y. 


AFFECTIONATELY  DEDICATED 
TO  MY  BROTHER 

SYDNEY 


CONTENTS 

9AJU  PACK 

INTRODUCTION v 

I.  EARLIER  YEARS I 

II.  THE  LAWYER 93 

III.  LOCAL  POLITICS  AND  THE  DOUGLAS  DE 

BATES    45 

IV.  AT  THE  WHITE  HOUSE 67 

V.  AT  THE  FRONT 135 

VI.  THE  COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 159 


INTRODUCTION 

FOR  many  years  the  editor  has  collected  and 
studied  the  literature  relating  to  Abraham 
Lincoln,  and  his  interest  has  led  to  the  prepara 
tion  of  a  book  which  he  has  endeavored  to  make 
both  authentic  and  significant.  His  purpose  has 
been  to  select  stories  which  embody  truth  and 
point,  and  to  arrange  them,  as  far  as  possible, 
consecutively,  so  that  they  may  furnish  con 
tinuous  illustrations  of  the  various  stages  of 
Lincoln's  wonderful  career.  Various  dubious  and 
often  maudlin  tales  which  have  been  attributed 
to  Lincoln  have  been  omitted.  While  it  would 
be  impossible  to  claim  that  any  collection  is  ab 
solutely  comprehensive,  yet  it  is  believed  that 
the  best  and  the  essential  Lincoln  stories  are 
assembled  here  in  a  manner  which  will  serve  as 
an  outline  biography  in  story  form. 

In  connection  with  this  plan  the  bare  facts  of 
Lincoln's  life  may  be  restated  helpfully.  His 
parents,  born  in  Virginia,  followed  the  westward 


INTRODUCTION 

movement  across  the  Alleghanies  to  Kentucky, 
where  Abraham  Lincoln  was  born  in  Hardin 
County  on  February  12,  1809.  Afterward  the 
family  continued  westward  to  Indiana.  His 
education,  acquired  almost  entirely  by  himself, 
included  hardly  more  than  a  year  at  a  regular 
school.  His  was  the  working  boyhood  of  the 
frontier.  At  nineteen  he  helped  to  take  a  flat- 
boat  down  the  Mississippi  to  New  Orleans,  and 
the  fidelity  of  his  service  caused  his  employer  to 
make  him  a  clerk  and  to  give  him  charge  of  a 
store  at  New  Salem,  Illinois.  In  1832  the  force 
of  Lincoln's  personality  led  to  his  election  as 
captain  of  a  company  raised  for  the  Black  Hawk 
War.  Next  came  his  appointment  as  post 
master  at  New  Salem,  his  study  of  law,  and  his 
admission,  in  1836,  to  the  practice  of  law,  which 
he  began  at  Springfield,  Illinois.  Law  almost 
inevitably  involved  politics,  and  Lincoln's  grow 
ing  success  as  a  lawyer  was  accompanied  by 
recognition  as  a  locally  conspicuous  figure  in  the 
Whig  party.  There  followed,  naturally,  various 
elections  to  the  Legislature,  and  finally,  in  1847, 
his  election  tx>  Congress,  where  he  emphasized 
his  antagonism  to  slavery.  His  selection  as  a 
candidate  for  the  Senate  of  the  United  States, 
in  1858,  led  to  the  historic  debates  with  Stephen 
A.  Douglas.  Lincoln  obtained  the  popular  vote, 

vi 


INTRODUCTION 

but  the  Legislature  elected  Douglas.  Yet  the 
real  outcome  was  a  national  prominence  which 
brought  him  the  Republican  nomination  for  the 
Presidency  over  William  H.  Seward,  in  1860, 
and  his  election.  So  far  as  possible  Lincoln's 
great  career  as  President  has  been  divided  into 
three  parts  which  afford  stories  of  the  civil  side 
of  his  administration,  stories  of  his  visits  to  the 
front,  and  stories  relating  peculiarly  to  the  events 
of  the  war.  Obviously  the  line  cannot  be  drawn 
sharply;  but  the  general  plan  will,  it  is  believed, 
be  found  convenient  as  affording  illuminating 
suggestions  regarding  the  various  phases  of  the 
momentous  period  from  Lincoln's  first  election 
to  his  death,  April  15,  1865. 

Abraham  Lincoln  was  a  man  of  steel  nerves, 
clear  mental  grasp,  stanch  convictions,  and 
adamantine  will,  though  withal  a  man  of  the 
gentlest  and  kindliest  character;  and  his  for 
bearance  and  patience  were  almost  infinite.  He 
was  the  genius  of  common  sense.  His  steps 
forward  were  always  well  timed,  and  some  one 
said  that  he  was  never  oppressed  with  that  curse 
of  genius,  the  self-consciousness  of  petty  things. 
He  had  the  faculty  of  picking  out  the  essentials 
of  a  question  and  allowing  the  non-essentials 
to  take  care  of  themselves. 

His  stories  illustrate  these  characteristics  to  a 
vii 


INTRODUCTION 

marked  degree.  They  were  told  for  a  purpose. 
He  was  not  a  professional  story-teller.  That  is, 
he  did  not  tell  stories  for  the  sake  of  exploiting 
his  humor.  He  told  them  as  they  were  called 
into  being  by  events;  sometimes  to  illumine  an 
argument  or  to  controvert  one;  very  often  to 
conceal  his  purposes  or  to  throw  some  persistent 
inquirer  off  the  trail;  at  times  to  let  down  an 
ardent  office-seeker  gently.  But  he  was  a  man 
of  infinite  jest  in  the  most  human  sense,  and  if 
this  modest  compilation  serves  to  accentuate 
his  kindliness  and  patience,  his  tactfulness  and 
sagacity,  his  great  patriotism  and  wisdom,  his 
unselfish  devotion  to  the  highest  ideals,  it  will 
help  to  a  closer  understanding  of  one  of  the 
great  characters  of  the  world's  unfolding  drama. 
My  thanks  are  due  to  the  many  lovers  and 
biographers  of  Lincoln,  to  authors  of  standard 
books,  and  to  various  chroniclers,  from  whom 
these  stories  have  been  gathered. 


PART  I 
EARLIER   YEARS 


LINCOLN'S  OWN  STORIES 


EARLIER    YEARS 

WHEN  the  Lincoln  family  moved  from  Indi 
ana  to  Illinois  in  the  spring  of  1830  they 
had,  among  their  few  possessions,  a  small  pet  dog. 
The  little  animal  fell  behind  one  day  and  was  not 
missed  until  the  party  had  crossed  a  swollen, 
ice-filled  stream,  when  he  made  his  presence  on 
the  opposite  bank  known  by  whines  and  yelps. 
Lincoln's  father,  anxious  to  go  forward,  decided 
not  to  recross  the  river  with  oxen  and  wagons, 
but  the  boy  Abraham  could  not  endure  the  idea 
of  abandoning  even  a  dog.  Pulling  off  shoes  and 
socks,  he  waded  across  the  stream  and  tri 
umphantly  returned  with  the  shivering  animal 
under  his  arm.  Said  Lincoln  afterward,  "His 
frantic  leaps  of  joy  and  other  evidences  of  a 
dog's  gratitude  amply  repaid  me  for  all  the  ex 
posure  I  had  undergone." 

3 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

In  his  youth  Lincoln  ran  a  ferry  in  the  Ohio 
River  at  die  mouth  of  Anderson  Creek.  The  only 
passenger  for  a  whole  day  was  being  ferried  over, 
and  to  enliven  the  journey  he  told  the  story  of 
Washington  throwing  a  silver  dollar  across  the 
Rappahannock  at  Fredericksburg. 

"Well,"  remarked  young  Abraham,  sadly, 
"he  couldn't  throw  one  across  the  Ohio  at  the 
mouth  of  Anderson  unless  he  was  doing  more 
business  than  I  am,  or  unless  he  stole  it." 

When  Lincoln  came  on  a  visit  to  his  father's 
home  in  Coles  County,  Illinois,  in  1831,  his  repu 
tation  as  a  great  wrestler  had  preceded  him. 
The  local  champion,  one  Daniel  Needham, 
promptly  challenged  him,  and  Lincoln  promptly 
accepted.  In  the  public  contest  which  followed 
Lincoln  threw  his  opponent  twice  with  compara 
tive  ease  and  thus  aroused  the  anger  of  Needham. 

"Lincoln,"  he  shouted,  "you  have  thrown  me 
twice,  but  you  can't  whip  me!" 

"Needham,"  he  answered,  "are  you  satisfied 
that  I  can  throw  you?  If  you  are  not,  and  must 
be  convinced  by  a  thrashing,  I  will  do  that, 
too,  for  your  sake." 

In  1832,  at  the  time  of  the  Black  Hawk  War, 
Lincoln  was  drilling  his  men,  and  they  were 


EARLIER    YEARS 

marching  with  twenty  men  fronting  in  line  across 
a  field  when  he  wished  to  pass  through  a  gate  into 
the  next  field.  "I  could  not  for  the  life  of  me," 
said  Lincoln,  "remember  the  proper  word  of 
command  for  getting  my  company  'endwise,' 
so  that  it  could  get  through  the  gate,  so,  as»we 
came  near  the  gate,  I  shouted:  'This  company 
is  dismissed  for  two  minutes,  when  it  will  fall  in 
again  on  the  other  side  of  the  gate/  ' 

Lincoln  had  great  moral  courage,  which  is 
shown  in  the  following  letter,  certainly  an  excel 
lent  one  for  a  twenty-seven-year-old  backwoods 
man: 

"NEW  SALEM,  June  21, 1836. 

"DEAR  COLONEL, — I  am  told  that  during  my 
absence  last  week  you  passed  through  the  place 
and  stated  publicly  that  you  were  in  possession 
of  a  fact  or  facts  which,  if  known  to  the  public, 
would  entirely  destroy  the  prospects  of  N.  W. 
Edwards  and  myself  at  the  coming  election,  but 
that  through  favor  to  us  you  would  forbear  to 
divulge  them.  No  one  has  needed  favors  more 
than  I,  and  few,  generally,  have  been  less  un 
willing  to  accept  them;  but  in  this  case  favor  to 
me  would  be  injustice  to  the  public,  and  there 
fore  I  must  beg  your  pardon  for  declining  it. 

That  I  once  had  the  confidence  of  the  people 
5 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

of  Sangamon  County  is  sufficiently  evident;  and 
if  I  have  done  anything,  either  by  design  or  mis 
adventure,  which  if  known  would  subject  me  to 
a  forfeiture  of  that  confidence,  he  that  knows  of 
that  thing  and  conceals  it  is  a  traitor  to  his 
country's  interest. 

"I  find  myself  wholly  unable  to  form  any  con 
jecture  of  what  fact  or  facts,  real  or  supposed, 
you  spoke;  but  my  opinion  of  your  veracity  will 
not  permit  me  for  a  moment  to  doubt  that  you 
at  least  believed  what  you  said.  I  am  flattered 
with  the  personal  regard  you  manifested  for  me; 
but  I  do  hope  that,  on  mature  reflection,  you 
will  view  the  public  interest  as  a  paramount  con 
sideration  and  therefore  determine  to  let  the 
worst  come. 

"I  assure  you  that  the  candid  statement  of  facts 
on  your  part,  however  low  it  may  sink  me,  shall 
never  break  the  ties  of  personal  friendship  be 
tween  us. 

"I  wish  an  answer  to  this,  and  you  are  at 
liberty  to  publish  both  if  you  choose. 
"Very  respectfully, 

"A.  LINCOLN. 

"CoL.  ROBERT  ALLEN." 

His  retort  to  a  Democratic  demagogue,  one 
Col.  Dick  Taylor,  is  famous.  Taylor  charged 

6 


EARLIER    YEARS 

Lincoln  and  his  friends  with  being  "rag-barons 
and  manufacturing  lords."  "To  take  the  wind 
out  of  his  sails,"  as  Lincoln  aptly  put  it,  he 
slipped  up  to  the  speaker's  side  and  gave  his 
vest  a  sharp  pull.  "It  displayed  to  the  as 
tonished  audience  a  mass  of  ruffled  shirt,  gold 
watch,  chains,  seals,  and  glittering  jewels,"  says 
a  narrator.  Lincoln  in  his  rough  clothes  and 
coarse  linen  was  quick  to  take  advantage  of  this 
unusual  display  of  finery. 

"Behold  the  hard-fisted  Democrat!  Look, 
gentlemen,  at  this  specimen  of  the  bone  and 
sinew.  And  here,  gentlemen,"  laying  his  coarse 
hand  on  his  heart  and  bowing,  "here  at  your 
service,  here  is  your  aristocrat!  Here  is  one  of 
your  silk-stockinged  gentry.  Here  is  your  rag- 
baron  with  his  lily-white  hands.  Yes,  I  suppose 
I,  according  to  my  friend  Taylor,  am  a  bloated 
aristocrat. 

"While  Colonel  Taylor  was  making  his  charges 
against  the  Whigs  over  the  country,  riding  in 
fine  carriages,  wearing  ruffled  shirts,  kid  gloves, 
massive  gold  watch-chains  with  large  gold  seals, 
and  flourishing  a  gold-headed  cane,  I  was  a  poor 
boy,  hired  on  a  flatboat  at  eight  dollars  a  month, 
and  had  only  one  pair  of  breeches  to  my  back, 
and  they  buckskin.  Now,  if  you  know  the  nature 
of  buckskin,  when  wet  and  dried  by  the  sun  it 

7 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

will  shrink,  and  my  breeches  kept  shrinking 
until  they  left  several  inches  of  my  legs  bare,  be 
tween  the  tops  of  my  socks  and  the  lower  part  of 
my  breeches;  and  while  I  was  growing  taller  they 
were  becoming  shorter,  and  so  much  tighter  that 
they  left  a  blue  streak  around  my  legs  that  can 
be  seen  to  this  day.  If  you  call  this  aristocracy, 
I  plead  guilty  to  the  charge." 
Thus  did  he  pillory  this  demagogue. 

Lincoln  had  great  physical  courage,  also.  Once 
his  friend  Edward  Baker,  famous  for  his  im 
petuous  eloquence,  attacked  a  local  newspaper 
before  an  audience  of  voters.  It  took  place  im 
mediately  beneath  the  office  of  Stuart  &  Lincoln. 
Lincoln  lay  listening  through  a  trap  door  that 
separated  the  two  floors. 

"Pull  him  down,"  shouted  the  brother  of  the 
newspaper  editor^  and  for  a  moment  it  looked, 
rather  ominous  for  Baker.  The  crowd  advanced, 
when  to  his  astonishment  the  lank  form  of  Lin 
coln  dangled  to  the  platform  below.  Gesticu 
lating  in  vain  for  silence,  he  seized  the  stone 
water-jug  and  shouted: 

"I'll  break  it  over  the  head  of  the  first  man 
who  lays  a  hand  on  Baker!"  And  then  he  con 
tinued  : 

"Hold  on,  gentlemen,  let  us  not  disgrace  the 
8 


EARLIER    YEARS 

age  and  country  in  which  we  live.  This  is  a  land 
where  freedom  of  speech  is  guaranteed.  Mr. 
Baker  has  a  right  to  speak  and  ought  to  be  per 
mitted  to  do  so.  I  am  here  to  protect  him,  and 
no  man  shall  take  him  from  this  stand  if  I  can 
prevent  him."  And  order  was  restored. 

Another  instance  may  be  here  recited.  Gen 
eral  Usher  F.  Linder  delivered  a  rather  spirited 
address  amid  threats  of  violence  from  the  gal 
leries.  Lincoln  and  Baker  got  on  the  platform 
and  stationed  themselves  beside  the  speaker. 
When  he  had  finished  Lincoln  said: 

"Linder,  Baker  and  I  are  apprehensive  that 
you  may  be  attacked  by  some  of  those  ruffians 
who  insulted  you  from  the  galleries,  and  we  have 
come  to  escort  you  to  your  hotel.  We  both  think 
we  can  do  a  little  fighting,  so  we  want  you  to 
walk  between  us  until  we  get  you  to  your  hotel. 
Your  quarrel  is  our  quarrel  and  that  of  the  great 
Whig  party  of  this  nation;  and  your  speech  upon 
this  occasion  is  the  greatest  one  that  has  been 
made  by  any  of  us,  for  which  we  wish  to  honor, 
love,  and  defend  you."  And  they  walked  off 
unmolested,  amid  the  cheers  of  the  audience. 

These  were  rough  days  and  violence  often 
extended  to  the  polls.  A  railroad  contractor 

9 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

named  Radford  had  taken  possession  of  a  polling- 
place  during  the  "hard-cider  campaign"  and 
prevented  the  Whigs  from  voting.  Lincoln  seized 
an  ax-handle  and  made  for  the  place. 

"Radford,"  he  said,  "you'll  spoil  and  blow  if 
you  live  much  longer." 

Knowing  the  character  of  Lincoln,  Radford 
discreetly  retired,  to  the  disappointment  of  the 
candidate,  who  told  Speed  that  he  wanted  Rad 
ford  to  show  fight,  as  he  "intended  just  to  knock 
him  down  and  leave  him  kicking." 

His  power  of  invective  and  ridicule  is  exempli 
fied  in  the  remarkable  "  Rebecca  "  letters.  Speak 
ing  of  Shields,  then  the  Auditor  of  the  State  and 
a  very  prominent  Democratic  politician,  Lincoln 
wrote  in  the  local  paper,  in  a  humorous  bur 
lesque  style: 

"I  seed  him  when  I  was  down  in  Springfield 
last  winter.  They  had  a  sort  of  gatherin*  there 
one  night  among  the  grandees;  they  called  it  a 
fair.  All  the  gals  about  town  was  there,  and 
all  the  handsome  widows  and  married  women, 
finickin'  about  trying  to  look  like  gals.  ...  I 
looked  in  at  the  window,  and  there  this  same 
fellow  Shields  floatin*  about  on  the  air,  without 
heft  or  earthly  substances,  just  like  a  lock  of  cat 
fur  where  cats  had  been  fighting.  He  was  paying 

10 


EARLIER    YEARS 

his  money  to  this  one  and  that  one  and  t'other 
one,  and  sufferin'  great  loss  because  it  wasn't 
silver  instead  of  State  paper;  and  the  sweet  dis 
tress  he  seemed  to  be  in — his  very  features,  in 
the  ecstatic  agony  of  his  soul,  spoke  audibly  and 
distinctly:  'Dear  girls,  it  is  most  distressing,  but 
I  cannot  marry  you  all.  Too  well  I  know  how 
much  you  suffer;  but  do,  do  remember,  it  is  not 
my  fault  that  I  am  so  handsome  and  interesting.' 
As  this  last  was  expressed  by  a  most  exquisite 
contortion  of  his  face,  he  seized  hold  of  one  of 
their  hands  and  squeezed  and  held  on  to  it  about 
a  quarter  of  an  hour.  'Oh,  my  good  fellow! '  says 
I  to  myself,  *  if  that  was  one  of  our  Democratic  gals 
in  the  Lost  Townships,  the  way  you'd  get  a  brass 
pin  let  into  you  would  be  about  up  to  the  head.' ' 

This  is  very  witty,  but  Lincoln  could  be  very 
severe  and  at  times,  or  rather  at  that  time, 
abusive,  as  his  answer  to  a  circular  issued  by 
Auditor  Shields  shows: 

"I  say  it's  a  lie,  and  not  a  well-told  one  at 
that.  It  grins  out  like  a  copper  dollar.  Shields 
is  a  fool  as  well  as  a  liar.  With  him  truth  is  out  of 
the  question,  and  as  for  getting  a  good,  bright, 
passable  lie  out  of  him,  you  might  as  well  try  to 
strike  fire  from  a  cake  of  tallow." 

Strong  words  these,  which  very  nearly  led  to 
a  duel. 

ii 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

Something  was  once  said  about  the  wild-cat 
Western  currency  of  seventy  years  ago,  a  species 
of  paper  money  then  worth  about  as  much  as 
Confederate  bills  were  worth  after  Lee's  surren 
der  (at  the  latter  time  a  parcel  containing  over 
a  thousand  dollars  was  offered  for  five  dollars). 
Mr.  Lincoln's  story  was  that  he  was  going  down 
the  Mississippi.  Fuel  was  getting  low  and  the 
captain  directed  the  pilot  to  steer  in  to  the  first 
woodpile  that  he  saw  on  the  river-bank.  When 
the  captain  reached  one  he  said  to  the  owner  on 
shore,  "Is  that  your  wood?"  "Certainly." 
"You  want  to  sell  it?"  "Yes."  "Will  you 
accept  currency?"  "Certainly."  "How  wiH 
you  take  it?"  said  the  captain;  to  which  the 
owner  promptly  replied:  "Cord  for  cord." 

His  great  tenderness  in  love  and  sorrow  is 
shown  when  Anne  Rutledge,  his  first  love,  was 
laid  in  the  grave.  Grieving  till  his  friends  feared 
his  loss  of  reason,  he  was  found  on  a  dark  and 
stormy  night  beside  the  new-made  grave  crying, 
"I  cannot  bear  to  have  the  rain  fall  upon  her." 

Speaking  of  his  ancestry,  Lincoln  once  humor 
ously  remarked,  "I  don't  know  who  my  grand 
father  was,  and  I  am  much  more  concerned  to 
know  what  his  grandson  will  be." 


PART  II 
THE    LAWYER 


II 

THE   LAWYER 

TINCOLN'S  family  devotion  was  unbounded 
I—*  and  he  loved  his  children  to  the  verge  of 
folly.  He  delighted  to  carry  his  boys  on  his  back 
and  to  take  one  of  them  by  the  hand  when  he 
went  to  town.  Their  turmoil  never  disturbed 
him.  Their  mischief  only  amused  him ;  he 
never  viewed  it  with  alarm.  "Since  I  began 
this  letter,"  he  wrote  to  a  friend,  "a  messenger 
came  to  tell  me  that  Bob  was  lost;  but  by  the 
time  I  reached  the  house  his  mother  had  found 
him  and  had  him  whipped,  and  by  now,  very 
likely,  he  is  run  away  again." 

When  this  same  Bob  was  bitten  by  a  dog,  his 
anxious  and  always  superstitious  father  dropped 
everything  and  took  him  to  Indiana,  that  a  won 
derful  madstone  in  that  State  might  be  applied 
to  the  wound. 

The  boys  could  go  to  Lincoln's  law  office  and 
pull  down  the  law-books,  scatter  legal  docu 
ments  over  the  floor,  and  bend  the  points  of 

IS 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

the  pens  without  ruffling  his  temper,  however 
much  they  annoyed  his  partner. 

Here  is  a  rather  curious  illustration  of  Lin 
coln's  humor,  and  likewise  his  exalted  and  un 
usual  honesty.  In  a  letter  to  the  proprietors 
of  a  wholesale  store  in  Louisville,  for  whom  suit 
had  been  brought,  after  notifying  his  client  of 
the  sale  of  certain  real  estate  in  satisfaction 
of  their  judgment,  he  adds:  "As  to  the  real 
estate,  we  cannot  attend  to  it.  We  are  not 
real  estate  agents,  we  are  lawyers.  We  recom 
mend  that  you  give  the  charge  of  it  to  Mr.  Isaac 
S.  Britton,  a  trustworthy  man,  and  one  whom  the 
Lord  made  on  purpose  for  such  business." 

Returning  at  one  time  from  the  circuit  he  said 
to  his  law-partner,  Mr.  Herndon :  "  Billy,  I  heard 
a  good  story  while  I  was  up  in  the  country. 

Judge  D was  complimenting  the  landlord  on 

the  excellency  of  his  beef.  'I  am  surprised,'  he 
said,  'that  you  have  such  good  beef;  you  must 
have  to  kill  a  whole  critter  when  you  want  any.' 
'Yes,'  said  the  landlord,  'we  never  kill  less  than 
a  whole  critter.' ' 

Mr.  Lincoln  was  once  engaged  in  the  trial  of 
a  suit  involving  the  infringement  of  a  patent 

16 


THE    LAWYER 

water-wheel.  In  his  earlier  days  he  had  aided 
in  running  a  sawmill,  and  he  explained  in  his 
argument,  in  a  very  clear  and  masterly  manner, 
all  the  intricate  points  involved  in  the  action 
of  the  water.  After  the  jury  retired  he  became 
quite  anxious  and  uneasy.  The  jury  were  in 
another  building,  the  windows  of  which  opened 
on  the  street,  and  they  had  been  out  about  two 
hours.  As  Lincoln  was  passing  along  the  street 
one  of  the  jurors,  on  whom  he  very  much  relied, 
as  he  was  a  very  intelligent  man  and  firm  in  his 
convictions,  looked  out  of  the  window  and  held 
up  one  finger.  Mr.  Lincoln  became  very  much 
excited,  fearing  that  it  indicated  eleven  of  the 
jury  against  him.  He  knew  that  if  this  man 
was  for  him  he  never  would  yield  his  opinion, 
and  added  that  it  reminded  him  very  much  of  an 
other  case  in  which  he  was  involved,  and  if  the 
two  jurors  were  alike  in  their  action  his  client 
was  safe.  He  said  that  he  had  been  employed 
to  prosecute  a  suit  for  divorce.  His  client  was 
a  pretty,  refined,  and  interesting  little  woman 
who  was  in  court.  The  defendant,  her  husband, 
was  a  gross,  morose,  and  uncomfortable  man; 
but  although  Lincoln  was  able  to  prove  the 
use  of  very  offensive  and  vulgar  epithets  aps 
plied  by  the  husband  to  his  wife,  and  all 
sorts  of  annoyances,  yet  there  were  no  such  acts 
2  17 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

et  personal  violence  as  were  required  by  the 
statutes  to  justify  divorce.  Lincoln  did  the 
best  he  could  and  appealed  to  the  jury  to  have 
compassion  for  the  woman  and  not  to  bind  her 
to  such  a  man  and  such  a  life  as  awaited  her  if 
required  to  live  longer  with  him.  The  jury  took 
about  the  same  view  of  it  in  their  deliberations. 
They  were  anxious  to  find  for  the  woman,  but 
there  was  no  evidence  to  justify  such  a  verdict. 
At  last  they  drew  up  a  verdict  for  the  defendant 
and  all  signed  but  one  fellow,  who,  on  being  ap 
proached,  coolly  said,  "Gentlemen,  I  am  going 
to  lie  down  to  sleep,  and  when  you  get  ready  to 
give  a  verdict  for  that  little  woman  then  wake 
me  up  and  not  until  then;  for  before  I  will  give 
a  verdict  against  her  I  will  lie  here  till  I  rot  and 
the  pismires  carry  me  out  through  the  keyhole." 
"Now,"  observed  Mr.  Lincoln,  "if  that  juryman 
would  stick  like  the  other  fellow,  we  are  safe." 
Strange  to  relate,  the  jury  did  come  in  and  bring 
a  verdict  for  the  defendant. 

Here's  a  rather  homely  way  in  which  Lin 
coln  once  described  the  manner  in  which  his  mem 
ory  worked.  It  was  once  said  to  him  that  his 
mind  was  a  wonderful  one;  that  impressions  were 
easily  made  upon  it  and  never  effaced.  "No," 
said  he,  "you  are  mistaken;  I  am  slow  to  learn 

18 


THE    LAWYER 

and  slow  to  forget  that  which  I  have  learned. 
My  mind  is  like  a  piece  of  steel — very  hard  to 
scratch  anything  on  it,  and  almost  impossible, 
after  you  get  it  there,  to  rub  it  out." 

George  W.  Miner  tells  the  following  story  of 
the  manner  in  which  Mr.  Lincoln  handled  a  jury: 
"In  the  spring  term  of  theTazewell  County  Court, 
in  1847,  I  was  detained  as  a  witness.  Lincoln 
was  employed  in  several  suits,  and  among  them 
was  one  of  Case  vs.  Snow  Brothers.  The  Snow 
Brothers  (who  were  both  minors)  had  purchased 
from  a  Mr.  Case  what  was  then  called  a  'prairie 
team,'  consisting  of  two  or  three  yoke  of  oxen  and 
a  prairie  plow,  giving  therefor  their  joint  note 
for  some  two  hundred  dollars;  but  when  pay-day 
came  they  refused  to  pay,  pleading  the  minor  act. 
The  note  was  placed  in  Lincoln's  hands  for  collec 
tion.  The  suit  was  called  and  a  jury  impaneled. 
The  Snow  Brothers  did  not  deny  the  note,  but 
pleaded  through  their  counsel  that  they  were 
minors,  and  that  Mr.  Case  knew  they  were  at 
the  time  of  the  contract  and  conveyance.  All 
this  was  admitted  by  Mr.  Lincoln,  with  his  pe 
culiar  phrase,  'Yes,  gentlemen,  I  reckon  that's 
so.'  The  minor  act  was  read  and  its  validity 
admitted  in  the  same  manner.  The  counsel  for 
the  defendants  were  permitted  without  question 

19 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

to  state  all  these  things  to  the  jury,  and  to  show 
by  the  statute  that  these  minors  could  not  be 
held  responsible  for  their  contract.  By  this  time 
you  may  well  suppose  that  his  client  became 
quite  uneasy.  'What!'  thought  I,  'this  good  old 
man  who  confided  in  these  boys  to  be  wronged 
in  this  way,  and  even  his  counsel,  Mr.  Lincoln, 
to  submit  in  silence.'  I  looked  at  Judge  Treat, 
but  could  read  nothing  in  his  calm  and  digni 
fied  demeanor.  Just  then  Mr.  Lincoln  slowly 
rose  to  his  strange,  half-erect  attitude  and  in 
clear,  quiet  accents  began:  'Gentlemen  of  the 
jury,  are  you  willing  to  allow  these  boys  to  begin 
life  with  this  shame  and  disgrace  attached  to 
their  character?  If  you  are,  I  am  not.  The 
best  judge  of  human  character  that  ever  wrote 
has  left  these  immortal  words  for  us  to  ponder: 

"Good  name  in  man  or  woman,  dear  my  lord, 
Is  the  immediate  jewel  of  their  souls: 
Who  steals  my  purse  steals  trash;  'tis  something, 

nothing; 

'Twas  mine,  'tis  his,  and  has  been  slave  to  thou 
sands; 

But  he  that  filches  from  me  my  good  name 
Robs  me  of  that  which  not  enriches  him 
And  makes  me  poor  indeed. 

"Then  rising  to  his  full  height,  and  looking  upon 
the  defendants  with  the  compassion  of  a  brother, 

20 


THE    LAWYER 

his  long  arm  extended  toward  the  opposing  coun 
sel,  he  continued:  'Gentlemen  of  the  jury,  these 
poor  innocent  boys  would  never  have  attempted 
this  low  villainy  had  it  not  been  for  the  advice 
of  these  lawyers/  Then  for  a  few  minutes  he 
showed  how  even  the  noble  science  of  law  may 
be  prostituted.  With  a  scathing  rebuke  to  those 
who  thus  belittle  their  profession,  he  concluded: 
'And  now,  gentlemen,  you  have  it  in  your  power 
to  set  these  boys  right  before  the  world.'  He 
pleaded  for  the  young  men  only;  I  think  he  did 
not  mention  his  client's  name.  The  jury,  with 
out  leaving  their  seats,  decided  that  the  de 
fendants  must  pay  the  debt;  and  the  latter,  after 
hearing  Lincoln,  were  as  willing  to  pay  it  as  the 
jury  were  determined  they  should.  I  think  the 
entire  argument  lasted  not  above  five  minutes." 

To  a  man  who  once  offered  him  a  case  the 
merits  of  which  he  did  not  appreciate  he  made, 
according  to  his  partner,  Mr.  Herndon,  the  fol 
lowing  response: 

"Yes,  there  is  no  reasonable  doubt  that  I  can 
gain  your  case  for  you.  I  can  set  a  whole  neigh 
borhood  at  loggerheads;  I  can  distress  a  widowed 
mother  and  her  six  fatherless  children,  and 
thereby  get  for  you  six  hundred  dollars  which 
rightly  belong,  it  appears  to  me,  as  much  to 

21 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

them  as  it  does  to  you.  I  shall  not  take  your 
case,  but  I  will  give  you  a  little  advice  for  noth 
ing.  You  seem  a  sprightly,  energetic  man.  I 
would  advise  you  to  try  your  hand  at  making 
six  hundred  dollars  in  some  other  way." 

Once  he  was  prosecuting  a  civil  suit,  in  the 
course  of  which  evidence  was  introduced  show 
ing  that  his  client  was  attempting  a  fraud. 
Lincoln  rose  and  went  to  his  hotel  in  deep  dis 
gust.  The  judge  sent  for  him;  he  refused  to 
come.  "Tell  the  judge,"  he  said,  "my  hands 
are  dirty;  I  came  over  to  wash  them." 

At  another  time,  when  he  was  engaged  with 
Judge  S.  C.  Parks  in  defending  a  man  accused 
of  larceny,  he  said,  "If  you  can  say  anything 
for  the  man,  do  it — I  can't;  if  I  attempt  it,  the 
jury  will  see  I  think  he  is  guilty,  and  convict 
him." 

This  is  from  Chauncey  M.  Depew:  "President 
Lincoln  told  me  once  that,  in  his  judgment,  one  of 
the  two  best  things  he  ever  originated  was  this.  He 
was  trying  a  case  in  Illinois  where  he  appeared  for 
a  prisoner  charged  with  aggravated  assault  and 
battery.  The  complainant  had  told  a  horrible 
story  of  the  attack,  which  his  appearance  fully 

22 


THE    LAWYER 

justified,  when  the  district-attorney  handed  the 
witness  over  to  Mr.  Lincoln  for  cross-examination. 
Mr.  Lincoln  said  he  had  no  testimony,  and  unless 
he  could  break  down  the  complainant's  story 
he  saw  no  way  out.  He  had  come  to  the  con 
clusion  that  the  witness  was  a  bumptious  man, 
who  rather  prided  himself  upon  his  smartness  in 
repartee,  and  so,  after  looking  at  him  for  some 
minutes,  he  inquired,  'Well,  my  friend,  what 
ground  did  you  and  my  client  here  fight  over?' 
The  fellow  answered,  'About  six  acres.'  'Well, 
said  Mr.  Lincoln,  'don't  you  think  this  is  an 
almighty  small  crop  of  fight  to  gather  from 
such  a  big  piece  of  ground  ?'  The  jury  laughed, 
the  court  and  district-attorney  and  complainant 
all  joined  in,  and  the  case  was  laughed  out  of 


court." 


Leonard  Swett,  of  Chicago,  for  years  an  inti 
mate  associate,  and  himself  one  of  the  most  fa 
mous  of  American  lawyers,  says  that  "some 
times,  after  Lincoln  entered  upon  a  criminal 
case,  the  conviction  that  his  client  was  guilty 
would  affect  him  with  a  sort  of  panic.  On  one 
occasion  he  turned  suddenly  to  his  associate  and 
said,  ' Swett,  the  man  is  guilty;  you  defend  him, 
I  can't/  and  so  gave  up  his  share  of  a  large 
fee." 

23 


LINCOLN;S  OWN  STORIES 

It  was  a  common  thing  for  Lincoln  to  dis 
courage  unnecessary  lawsuits,  and  consequently 
he  was  continually  sacrificing  opportunities  to 
make  money.  One  man  who  asked  him  to  bring 
suit  for  two  dollars  and  a  half  against  a  debtor 
who  had  not  a  cent  with  which  to  pay,  would  not 
be  put  off  in  his  passion  for  revenge.  His  coun 
sel  therefore  gravely  demanded  ten  dollars  as  a 
retainer.  Half  of  this  he  gave  to  the  poor  de 
fendant,  who  thereupon  confessed  judgment  and 
paid  the  $2.50.  Thus  the  suit  was  ended,  to  the 
entire  satisfaction  of  the  angry  creditor. 

The  son  of  Jack  Armstrong,  the  champion  of 
Clary's  Grove,  whose  loyal  friendship  Lincoln 
had  won  by  whipping  him  in  open  battle  at  New 
Salem,  was  on  trial  for  killing  a  man.  Jack  was 
in  his  grave,  but  his  widow  turned  to  Lincoln 
to  save  her  boy.  He  gratefully  remembered 
that  the  poor  woman  had  been  almost  a  mother 
to  him  in  his  friendless  days  and  that  her  cabin 
had  been  his  home  when  he  had  no  other.  He 
laid  aside  everything  else  and  went  to  her  aid. 
The  defendant's  guilt  was  extremely  doubtful. 

The  chief  witness  testified  that  he  saw  the 
boy  strike  the  fatal  blow  and  that  the  affair 
occurred  about  eleven  o'clock  at  night.  Lincoln 
inquired  how  he  could  have  seen  so  clearly  at 

24 


THE    LAWYER 

that  late  hour.  By  the  moonlight,  the  witness 
answered.  Was  there  light  enough  to  see  every 
thing  that  happened  ?  Lincoln  asked.  The  moon 
was  about  where  the  sun  would  be  at  ten 
o'clock  in  the  morning  and  nearly  full,  the 
man  on  the  stand  replied.  Almost  instantly 
Lincoln  held  out  a  calendar.  By  this  he  showed 
that  on  the  night  in  question  the  moon  was 
only  slightly  past  its  first  quarter,  that  it  set 
within  an  hour  after  the  fatal  occurrence,  and 
that  it  cowld  therefore  have  shed  little  or  no  light 
on  the  scene  of  the  alleged  murder.  The  crowded 
court  was  electrified  by  the  disclosure. 

"  Hannah,"  whispered  Lincoln,  as  he  turned 
to  the  mother,  "Bill  will  be  cleared  before  sun 
down."  And  he  was. 

An  anecdote  is  related  in  connection  with  a 
case  involving  a  bodily  attack.  Mr.  Lincoln 
defended,  and  told  the  jury  that  his  client  was 
in  "the  plight  of  a  man  who,  in  going  along 
the  highway  with  a  pitchfork  over  his  shoulder, 
was  attacked  by  a  fierce  dog  that  ran  out  at 
him  from  a  farmer's  door-yard.  In  warding  off 
the  brute  with  the  fork  its  prongs  pierced  and 
killed  him. 

"What  made  you  kill  my  dog?"  said  the 
farmer. 

25 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

"What  made  him  bite  me?" 

"But  why  did  you  not  go  after  him  with  the 
other  end  of  the  pitchfork?" 

"Why  did  he  not  come  at  me  with  his  other 
end?" 

At  this  Mr.  Lincoln  whirled  about,  in  his  long 
arms  an  imaginary  dog,  and  pushed  his  tail  toward 
the  jury.  This  was  the  defensive  plea  of  "Son 
assaut  demesne "  —  loosely,  that  "  The  other 
fellow  brought  on  the  fight"  quickly  told  in  a 
way  the  dullest  mind  would  grasp  and  retain. 

Gen.  John  H.  Littlefield,  who  studied  law 
with  Abraham  Lincoln,  tells  this  anecdote  in  his 
recollections  of  this  great  figure:  "All  clients 
knew  that,  with  'Old  Abe'  as  their  lawyer,  they 
would  win  their  case — if  it  was  fair;  if  not, 
that  it  was  a  waste  of  time  to  take  it  to  him. 
After  listening  some  time  one  day  to  a  would- 
be  client's  statement,  with  his  eyes  on  the 
ceiling,  he  swung  around  in  his  chair  and 
exclaimed:  'Well,  you  have  a  pretty  good  case 
in  technical  law,  but  a  pretty  bad  one  in  equity 
and  justice.  You'll  have  to  get  some  other 
fellow  to  win  this  case  for  you.  I  couldn't  do  it. 
All  the  time  while  standing  talking  to  that  jury 
I'd  be  thinking,  "Lincoln,  you're  a  liar,"  and  I  be 
lieve  I  should  forget  myself  and  say  it  out  loud.' 1 

26 


THE    LAWYER 

This  document,  signed  by  Lincoln's  old  friend, 
Judge  Davis,  recalls  a  very  interesting  period  of 
his  early  career  while  he  was  practising  law  on  the 
old  Eighth  Circuit  in  Central  Illinois.  Lincoln  and 
the  Judge  were  fast  friends  from  the  beginning, 
the  Judge  having  always  evinced  a  particular 
appreciation  of  Lincoln's  stories. 

"I  was  never  fined  but  once  for  contempt  of 
court,"  says  one  of  the  clerks  of  the  court  in 
Lincoln's  day.  "Davis  fined  me  five  dollars. 
Mr.  Lincoln  had  just  come  in,  and  leaning  over 
my  desk  had  told  me  a  story  so  irresistibly  funny 
that  I  broke  out  into  a  loud  laugh.  The  Judge 
called  me  to  order,  saying,  'This  must  be  stopped* 
Mr.  Lincoln,  you  are  constantly  disturbing  this 
court  with  your  stories.'  Then  to  me:  'You  may 
fine  yourself  five  dollars.'  I  apologized,  but  told 
the  Judge  the  story  was  worth  the  money.  In 
a  few  minutes  the  Judge  called  me  to  him. 
'What  was  that  story  Lincoln  told  you?'  he 
asked.  I  told  him,  and  he  laughed  aloud  in  spite 
of  himself.  '  Remit  your  fine,'  he  ordered." 

In  the  early  days  of  Illinois,  when  Lincoln  was 
a  young  lawyer,  it  was  the  custom  of  the  pro 
fession  to  go  from  one  county-seat  to  another  for 
the  trial  of  cases.  These  journeys  were  made 
on  horseback,  and  on  one  occasion  a  party  of 

27 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

lawyers,  among  them  Mr.  Lincoln,  were  riding 
across  the  country  in  the  central  part  of  the  State. 

The  road  took  them  through  a  grove,  and  as 
they  passed  along,  a  little  bird  which  had  fallen 
from  the  nest  lay  fluttering  on  the  ground  and 
was  noticed  by  several  of  the  horsemen,  including 
Mr.  Lincoln. 

After  riding  a  short  distance  he  said  to  his 
companions,  "Wait  a  moment,  I  want  to  go 
back,"  and  as  they  stopped  for  him  he  was  seen 
to  ride  back,  dismount,  and  pick  up  the  little 
fledgling  and  carefully  put  it  in  the  nest. 

When  he  rejoined  the  party  they  said:  "Why, 
Lincoln,  you  need  not  have  stopped  for  such  a 
trifle  as  that,"  but,  pausing  a  little  while,  he  an 
swered,  quietly,  "Well,  I  feel  better  for  doing  it, 
anyhow." 

At  the  time  of  the  first  Republican  Conven 
tion  in  Philadelphia,  in  i856,  Lincoln  was  follow 
ing  Judge  Davis  around  the  circuit  in  Illinois  and 
attending  a  special  term  of  the  court  in  Urbana. 

Mr.  Whitney  relates  that  Judge  Davis  and  the 
non-resident  lawyers  were  quartered  at  the  lead 
ing  hostelry  of  the  place.  Their  slumbers  in  the 
early  dawn  having  too  often  been  disturbed  by 
the  tones  of  a  vibrant  gong  summoning  them  to 
breakfast,  they  decided  one  morning  that  the 

28 


THE    LAWYER 

offending  instrument  must  be  removed  or  in  some 
way  forever  silenced.  By  a  majority  vote  Mr. 
Lincoln  was  chosen  to  carry  out  the  decree. 
Accordingly,  a  little  earlier  than  usual  before 
noon  that  day,  he  was  seen  to  leave  the  court 
room  and  hasten  to  the  hotel.  Slipping  un 
observed  into  the  dining-room,  he  managed  to 
secure  the  gong,  secreted  it  under  his  coat,  and 
was  in  the  act  of  making  off  with  it  when  Whitney 
and  Judge  Davis  suddenly  appeared  on  the  scene. 
The  former  held  in  his  hand  a  copy  of  the 
Chicago  Tribune y  which  had  just  reached  town. 
It  contained  the  surprising  and  gratifying  an 
nouncement  that  Mr.  Lincoln  had  received  one 
hundred  and  ten  votes  for  Vice-President  at  the 
Philadelphia  Convention  the  day  before. 

" Great  business,  this,"  chuckled  Davis,  "for 
a  man  who  aspires  to  be  Vice-President  of  the 
United  States!" 

Lincoln  only  smiled.  "Davis  and  I,"  declared 
Whitney,  "were  greatly  excited,  but  Lincoln  was 
listless  and  indifferent.  His  only  response  was: 

"  'Surely  it  ain't  me;  there's  another  great 
man  named  Lincoln  down  in  Massachusetts.  I 
reckon  it's  him.' ' 

Lincoln  was  once  arguing  a  case  against  an 
opponent  who  tried  to  convince  the  jury  that 

29 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

precedent  is  superior  to  law,  and  that  custom 
makes  things  legal  in  all  cases.  Lincoln's  reply 
was  one  of  his  many  effective  analogies  in  the 
form  of  a  story. 

Lincoln  told  the  jury  that  he  would  argue  the 
case  in  the  same  way  as  his  opponent,  and  began: 

"Old  Squire  Bagley,  from  Meriard,  came  into 
my  office  one  day  and  said: 

"  'Lincoln,  I  want  your  advice  as  a  lawyer. 
Has  a  man  what's  been  elected  justice  of  the 
peace  a  right  to  issue  a  marriage  license?' 

"I  told  him  no ;  whereupon  the  old  squire 
threw  himself  back  in  his  chair  very  indignantly 
and  said: 

"  'Lincoln,  I  thought  you  was  a  lawyer.  Now, 
Bob  Thomas  and  me  had  a  bet  on  this  thing, 
and  we  agreed  to  let  you  decide;  but  if  this  is 
your  opinion  I  don't  want  it,  for  I  know  a 
thunderin'  sight  better.  I've  been  a  squire 
eight  years,  and  I've  issued  marriage  licenses  all 
the  time.' J 

One  day  Lincoln  and  a  certain  judge  who  was 
an  intimate  friend  of  his  were  bantering  each 
other  about  horses,  a  favorite  topic.  Finally 
Lincoln  said: 

"Well,  look  here,  Judge !  I'll  tell  you  what  I'll 
do.  I'll  make  a  horse-trade  with  you,  only  it 

30 


THE    LAWYER 

must  be  upon  these  stipulations:  Neither  party 
shall  see  the  other's  horse  until  it  is  produced 
here  in  the  courtyard  of  the  hotel  and  both 
parties  must  trade  horses.  If  either  party  backs 
out  of  the  agreement,  he  does  so  under  a  for 
feiture  of  twenty-five  dollars." 

"Agreed,"  cried  the  judge,  and  both  he  and 
Lincoln  went  in  quest  of  their  respective  animals. 

A  crowd  gathered,  anticipating  some  fun,  and 
when  the  judge  returned  first  the  laugh  was 
uproarious.  He  led,  or  rather  dragged,  at  the 
end  of  a  halter  the  meanest,  boniest,  rib-staring 
quadruped — blind  in  both  eyes — that  ever  pressed 
turf.  But  presently  Lincoln  came  along  carry 
ing  over  his  shoulder  a  carpenter's  sawhorse. 
Then  the  mirth  of  the  crowd  was  furious. 
Lincoln  solemnly  set  his  horse  down,  and  silently 
surveyed  the  judge's  animal  with  a  comical  look 
of  infinite  disgust. 

"Well,  Judge,"  he  finally  said,  "this  Is  the 
first  time  I  ever  got  the  worst  of  it  in  a  horse- 
trade." 

Lincoln,  who  was  one  of  the  most  generous 
and  kind-hearted  of  men,  often  said  that  there 
was  no  act  which  was  not  prompted  by  some 
selfish  motive.  He  was  riding  in  a  stage  from 
Springfield,  Illinois,  to  a  neighboring  town  and 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

was  discussing  this  philosophy  with  a  fellow- 
passenger. 

As  the  stage  rumbled  past  a  ditch  which  was* 
filled  with  mud  and  mire  the  passengers  could 
see  a  small  pig,  caught  fast  in  the  muck,  squealing 
and  struggling  to  free  himself.  Many  persons 
in  the  stage  laughed  heartily,  but  Mr.  Lincoln, 
then  a  lawyer,  asked  the  driver  to  stop  for  a  few 
moments. 

Leaping  from  the  stage,  he  walked  to  the  ditch 
over  his  shoetops  in  mud  and  picked  the  little 
animal  up,  setting  it  on  the  solid  road. 

"Now,  look  here,"  said  the  passenger  with 
whom  he  had  been  talking,  "you  cannot  say 
that  was  a  selfish  act." 

"Extremely  selfish,"  said  Mr.  Lincoln.  "If  I 
had  left  that  little  fellow  in  there  the  memory  of 
his  squealing  would  have  made  me  uncomfortable 
all  day.  That  is  why  I  freed  him." 

He  was  a  poor  money-maker.  Daniel  Webster, 
who  sent  him  a  case,  was  amazed  at  the  smallness 
of  his  bill,  and  his  fellow-lawyers  looked  upon 
his  charges  as  very  low.  This  was  his  only  fault, 
in  their  eyes.  Once,  when  another  attorney  had 
collected  $250  for  their  joint  services,  he  refused 
to  accept  his  share  until  the  fee  had  been  reduced 
to  what  he  considered  fair  proportions  and  the 

32 


THE    LAWYER 

overcharge  had  been  returned  to  the  client. 
When  David  Davis,  the  presiding  judge  of  the 
circuit,  heard  of  this,  he  indignantly  exclaimed, 
"Lincoln,  your  picayune  charges  will  impoverish 
the  bar." 

He  was  equally  ready  to  take  up  a  just  case 
without  hope  of  pay  as  he  was  to  refuse  an  unjust 
one  even  at  the  loss  of  a  good  fee.  He  once 
dragged  into  court  a  pension  agent  who  insisted 
on  keeping  for  himself  half  of  a  $400  claim  which 
he  had  collected  for  a  poor  widow.  There,  in 
his  own  expressive  phrase,  he  "skinned"  him, 
moved  the  jury  to  tears  by  his  stirring  appeal  for 
justice  to  the  old  woman,  and  won  the  verdict, 
all  without  charge  to  his  client. 

In  another  interesting  and  important  case  he 
laid  down  the  rule  that  people  had  as  much  right 
to  cross  rivers  as  they  had  to  go  up  and  down 
them.  This  trial  arose  from  the  building  of  the 
first  bridge  over  the  Mississippi  and  from  the 
fight  which  the  boatmen  made  against  it  as  an 
obstruction  to  their  business. 

Lincoln  was  once  opposed  to  his  former  pre 
ceptor,   Judge   Logan,   in   the   trial   of  a   suit. 
Logan  was  a  very  dignified  gentleman,  but  some- 
3  33 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

what  careless  in  matters  of  dress,  often  appearing 
with  neither  collar  nor  necktie.  Lincoln,  knowing 
his  man,  proceeded  to  undo  him  before  the  jury 
in  the  following  manner: 

"Gentlemen,"  began  Lincoln,  "you  must  be 
careful  and  not  permit  yourselves  to  be  over 
borne  by  the  eloquence  of  the  counsel  for  defense. 
Judge  Logan,  I  know,  is  an  effective  lawyer;  I 
have  met  him  too  often  to  doubt  that.  But 
shrewd  and  careful  though  he  be,  still  he  is  some 
times  wrong.  Since  this  trial  began  I  have  dis 
covered  that,  with  all  his  caution  and  fastidi 
ousness,  he  hasn't  knowledge  enough  to  put  his 
shirt  on  right." 

It  then  transpired  that  Logan  was  wearing  his 
shirt  with  the  plaited  bosom  behind,  and  his 
embarrassment  was  so  great  and  the  laughter  of 
the  jury  so  uproarious,  that  he  completely  lost 
his  balance  and  effectiveness  during  the  remainder 
of  the  trial. 

The  terms  of  his  partnership  with  Judge  Logan 
are  not  known,  but  it  is  fair  to  assume  that  his 
share  was  a  very  small  one,  for  the  Judge  was 
a  very  thrifty  man  and  not  given  to  generosity. 
And  even  after  his  marriage  to  Mary  Todd,  in 
1842,  Lincoln  declined  an  invitation  to  Ken 
tucky,  saying  "  that  he  was  so  poor  and  made  so 

34 


THE    LAWYER 

little  headway  that  he  dropped  back  in  a  month 
of  idleness  as  much  as  he  gained  in  a  year's 
sowing." 

No  man  had  a  greater  respect  for  real  learn 
ing,  but  for  the  display  article  he  had  naught 
but  contempt.  Once  a  lawyer  arrayed  against 
him  made  use  of  a  Latin  maxim  for  the  evident 
purpose  of  impressing  his  hearers  or  to  per 
plex  Mr.  Lincoln,  to  whom  he  said,  "Is  not 
that  so?" 

"If  that  is  Latin,"  dryly  said  Lincoln,  "I  think 
you  had  better  call  another  witness." 

A  young  lawyer  once  asked  Mr.  Lincoln  if  the 
county-seat  of  Logan  County  was  named  after 
him.  "Well,  it  was  named  after  I  was,"  he 
gravely  replied. 

Once  opposing  counsel  objected  to  a  juror  on 
the  ground  that  he  knew  Mr.  Lincoln,  and  as 
this  was  a  reflection  upon  the  honor  of  a  lawyer, 
Judge  Davis  promptly  overruled  the  objection. 
But  when  Mr.  Lincoln,  following  the  example  of 
his  adversary,  examined  two  or  three  of  the  jury 
and  found  that  they  knew  his  opponent,  the 
Judge  interfered. 

"Now,  Mr.  Lincoln,"  he  observed,  severely, 
35 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

"you  are  wasting  time.  The  mere  fact  that  a 
juror  knows  your  opponent  does  not  disqualify 
him." 

"No,  your  Honor,"  responded  Mr.  Lincoln, 
dryly,  "but  I  am  afraid  some  of  the  gentlemen 
may  not  know  him,  which  would  place  me  at  a 
disadvantage." 

His  advice  to  lawyers  was  sound  and  clear. 
Herndon  quotes  him  as  saying:  "Don't  shoot 
too  high.  Aim  lower,  and  the  common  people 
will  understand  you.  They  are  the  ones  you 
want  to  reach — at  least  they  are  the  ones  you 
ought  to  reach.  The  educated  and  refined  people 
will  understand  you,  anyway.  If  you  aim  too 
high,  your  ideas  will  go  over  the  heads  of  the 
masses  and  only  hit  those  who  need  no  hitting." 

Speaking  of  some  lawyer  whose  name  is  un 
known  he  said,  "He  can  compress  the  most  words 
into  the  smallest  ideas  of  any  man  I  ever  met." 

Herndon  relates,  as  an  instance  of  Lincoln's 
moral  honesty  and  his  horror  of  a  lie,  that  he 
(Herndon)  once  drew  up  a  dilatory  plea  for  the 
purpose  of  delaying  a  case  for  another  term. 
But  when  it  came  to  Lincoln's  attention  he 
promptly  repudiated  it. 

36 


THE    LAWYER 

"Is  this  founded  on  fact?"  Lincoln  inquired, 
and  when  Herndon  admitted  it  was  done  merely 
to  save  their  client's  interests,  which  might 
otherwise  be  endangered,  Lincoln  instantly  re 
plied  : 

"You  know  it  is  a  sham,  and  a  sham  is  very 
often  but  another  name  for  a  lie.  Don't  let 
it  go  on  record.  The  cursed  thing  may  come 
staring  us  in  the  face  long  after  this  suit  is  for 
gotten."  And  the  plea  was  withdrawn. 

This  is  a  sample  of  the  way  business  was  con 
ducted  in  the  Illinois  courts.  "The  first  term  of 
Davis's  court  that  I  attended,"  relates  Major 
Whitney,  "the  Judge  was  calling  through  the 
docket  for  the  first  time,  in  order  to  dispose  of 
such  cases  as  could  be  handled  summarily,  and 
likewise  to  sort  the  chaff  from  the  wheat,  when  he 
came  across  a  long  bill  in  chancery,  drawn  by  an 
excellent  but  somewhat  indolent  lawyer.  On 
glancing  at  it  he  exclaimed:  'Why,  Brother 
Snap,  how  did  you  rake  up  energy  enough  to  get 
up  such  a  long  bill?' 

"'Dunno,  Jedge,'  replied  the  party  addressed, 
squirming  in  his  seat  and  uneasily  scratching  his 
head.  The  Judge  unfolded  and  held  up  the  bill. 
'Astonishing,  ain't  it?  Brother  Snap  did  it. 
Wonderful — eh,  Lincoln  ? ' 

37 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

"This  amounted  to  an  order  on  Lincoln  for  a 
joke  at  this  point,  and  he  was  ready,  of  course 
— he  had  to  be;  he  never  failed.  'It's  like  the 
lazy  preacher,'  drawled  he,  'that  used  to  write 
long  sermons,  and  the  explanation  was,  he  got 
to  writin'  and  was  too  lazy  to  stop/  " 

Here  is  a  scene  from  the  circuit  graphically 
described  by  Whitney:  "In  the  evening  all  as 
sembled  in  the  Judge's  room,  where  the  blazing 
fagots  were  piled  high  and  the  yule-log  was  in 
place,  and  there  were  no  strays  there,  although 
the  door  was  not  locked.  Davis's  methods  were 
known,  and  his  companions  well-defined,  and  if 
a  novice  came  he  soon  found  out  both.  For  in 
stance,  an  unsophisticated  person  might  become 
attracted  to  the  Judge's  room  by  our  noise,  sup 
posing  it  to  be  'free  for  all.'  If  Davis  wanted 
him  he  was  warmly  welcomed,  the  fatted  calf 
was  killed,  and  the  ring  put  on  his  finger;  but  if 
he  was  really  not  desired  he  was  frozen  out  by 
the  Judge  thus:  'Ah,  stop  a  minute,  Lincoln! 
Have  you  some  business,  Mr.  Dusenberry?' 
If  Mr.  Dusenberry  should  venture,  'Well,  no! 
I  came  designin' — "  Davis  would  interrupt  him: 
'Swett,  take  Mr.  Dusenberry  out  into  the  hall 
and  see  what  he  wants,  and  come  right  back 
yourself,  Swett.  Shut  the  door.  Now,  go 

38 


THE    LAWYER 

ahead,  Lincoln!  You  got  as  far  as — ha!  ha!  ha! 
"She  slid  down  the  hill,  and — "  But  wait  for 
Swett.  Swett!  Swett!'  called  he.  'Hill'  (to 
Lamon),  'call  Swett  in.  Now,  Lincoln,  go  ahead 
(and  so  forth).  '  She  slid  down  the  hill,  you  know. 
Ho!  ho!  ho!'  Any  one  who  knew  Davis  would 
recognize  this.  This  was  a  characteristic  scene 
with  Lincoln  as  the  headpiece,  though  we  often 
discussed  philosophy,  politics,  and  other  human 
interests." 

Lincoln's  guileless  exterior  concealed  a  great 
fund  of  shrewdness  and  common  sense  about 
ordinary  matters,  as  well  as  genius  in  the  higher 
realms. 

"I  remember  once,"  writes  Whitney,  "that 
while  several  of  us  lawyers  were  together,  includ 
ing  Judge  Davis,  Lincoln  suddenly  asked  a  novel 
question  regarding  court  practice,  addressed  to 
no  one  particularly,  to  which  the  Judge,  who  was 
in  the  habit  certainly  of  appropriating  his  full 
share  of  any  conversation,  replied,  stating  what 
he  understood  the  practice  should  be.  Lincoln 
thereat  laughed  and  said:  "I  asked  that  question, 
hoping  that  you  would  answer.  I  have  that  very 
question  to  present  to  the  court  in  the  morning, 
and  I  am  very  glad  to  find  out  that  the  court 
is  on  my  side." 

39 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

A  long  letter  about  a  law  case,  containing  a 
desire  to  retain  him,  he  returned  with  the  in 
dorsement:  "Count  me  in.  A.  LINCOLN." 

His  first  pair  of  spectacles,  which  he  purchased 
in  a  small  shop  in  Bloomington,  with  the  remark 
that  he  "had  got  to  be  forty-seven  years  old  and 
kinder  needed  them,"  cost  him  thirty-seven  and 
a  half  cents. 

At  one  o'clock,  on  a  night  after  Lincoln  had 
been  away  for  a  week,  his  Springfield  neighbor 
heard  the  sound  of  an  ax.  Looking  out  of  his 
window,  he  saw  Lincoln  in  the  moonlight  chop 
ping  wood  for  his  solitary  supper. 

"We  had  concluded  a  murder  case,"  writes 
Whitney,  "once  in  Champaign  at  noon,  in  which 
we  had  no  chance  of  acquittal,  and  hoped  the 
jury  would  disagree.  In  the  afternoon  a  young 
lawyer  from  another  county  was  making  a 
rousing  speech  in  a  whisky-selling  case,  although 
there  was  nothing  to  talk  about;  but  the  chap 
was  ' wound  up'  for  a  big  speech  and  he  couldn't 
stop  till  he  had  run  down.  We  were  in  one 
corner  of  the  court-room,  anxiously  hoping  that 
our  jury,  which  still  remained  out,  would  stay 
so,  and  finally  disagree.  Meanwhile,  we  were 

40 


THE    LAWYER 

bored  and  amused  at  the  Demosthenean  effort 
going  on  in  a  plain  case  of  selling  whisky.  'I 
wish  that  fellow  would  stop,'  said  Lincoln.  'I 
am  afraid  our  jury  will  agree  for  the  sake  of 
getting  in  to  hear  his  speech/ 

"At  the  White  House  once  I  was  regaling  him 
with  local  news  from  Champaign  (which  he  was 
always  ready  to  hear),  and  I  said,  'Blank  is  dead; 
his  extremely  disloyal  sentiments  so  provoked 
his  neighbors  that  there  was  serious  talk  of  in 
flicting  vengeance  on  him,  and  he  was  found  dead 
in  bed — caused  largely  by  fright/  This  man 
was  an  old  Whig  friend  of  Lincoln,  but  the 
reason  of  his  exit  from  life's  trials  amused  him. 
His  comment  was,  'He  died,  then,  to  save  his 
life,  it  seems/ ' 

Whitney  says  that  one  of  the  most  obvious 
of  Mr.  Lincoln's  peculiarities  was  his  dissimili 
tude  of  qualities,  or  inequality  of  conduct,  his 
dignity  of  deportment  and  action,  interspersed 
with  freaks  of  frivolity  and  inanity;  his  high 
inspiration  and  achievement,  and  his  descent 
into  the  most  primitive  vales  of  listlessness  and 
the  most  ridiculous  buffoonery. 

Lincoln  once  told  this  story:  A  balloon  ascen 
sion  occurred  in  New  Orleans  "befo'  da  waj,"  and 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

after  sailing  in  the  air  for  several  hours  the 
aeronaut,  who  was  arrayed  in  silks  and  spangles 
like  a  circus-performer,  descended  in  a  cotton- 
field,  where  a  gang  of  slaves  were  at  work.  The 
frightened  negroes  took  to  the  woods — all  but 
one  venerable  darky,  who  was  rheumatic  and 
could  not  run,  and  who,  as  the  resplendent 
aeronaut  approached,  having  apparently  just 
dropped  from  heaven,  said,  "Good  mornin', 
Massa  Jesus;  how's  yo'  pa?" 

A  New  York  firm  applied  to  Lincoln  some  years 
before  he  became  President  for  information  as  to 
the  financial  standing  of  one  of  his  neighbors. 
This  was  the  answer: 

"Yours  of  the  loth  received.  First  of  all,  he 
has  a  wife  and  baby;  together  they  ought  to  be 
worth  $500,000  to  any  man.  Secondly,  he  has 
an  office  in  which  there  is  a  table  worth  $1.50  and 
three  chairs  worth,  say,  $i.  Last  of  all,  there  is 
in  one  corner  a  large  rat-hole,  which  will  bear 
looking  into. 

"Respectfully, 

"A.  LINCOLN." 

While  walking  along  a  dusty  road  in  Illinois 
in  his  circuit  days  Lincoln  was  overtaken  by  a 
stranger  driving  to  town.  "Will  you  have  the 

42 


THE    LAWYER 

goodness  to  take  my  overcoat  to  town  for  me?* 
asked  Lincoln.  "With  pleasure;  but  how  will 
you  get  it  again?"  "Oh,  very  readily.  I  intend 
to  remain  in  it,"  was  Lincoln's  prompt  reply. 

"Billy,"  he  said  to  his  partner  Herndon,  "over 
sixteen  years  together,  and  we  have  not  had  a 
cross  word  during  all  that  time,  have  we?" 

"Not  one." 

"Don't  take  the  sign  down,  Billy;  let  it  swing, 
that  our  clients  may  understand  that  the  election 
of  a  President  makes  no  change  in  the  firm  of 
Lincoln  &  Herndon.  If  I  live,  I'm  coming  back, 
and  we  will  go  right  on  practising  law  as  if  noth 
ing  had  ever  happened."  Then  the  two  went 
down  the  stairs  and  across  the  town  to  the  rail 
road  station,  Lincoln  never  to  return  alive. 


PART  III 

LOCAL   POLITICS   AND   THE 
DOUGLAS   DEBATES 


Ill 

LOCAL  POLITICS  AND  THE   DOUGLAS  DEBATES 

IT  is  said  that  Lincoln's  first  speech  was  as  fol 
lows.  His  friends  thought  he  would  be  a  good 
candidate  for  the  Legislature,  and  they  put  him 
into  nomination.  He  came  from  his  retreat  in 
the  woodlands  to  a  country  town  where  he  was 
to  meet  his  opponent.  As  he  approached  the 
town  he  passed  the  house  in  which  his  antago 
nist  dwelt.  He  saw  rising  from  the  roof  a  thin 
spire  of  iron,  and  said,  " What's  that?"  "Oh," 
said  his  friend,  "that  is  a  lightning-rod,"  and 
he  explained  the  use  of  the  lightning-rod.  Mr. 
Lincoln  had  never  before  seen  such  an  appen 
dage  to  a  dwelling,  and  he  thought  over  it  a 
good  deal  until  his  time  came  to  speak.  The 
man  against  whom  he  was  running  was  the  first 
to  occupy  the  platform,  and  he  addressed  his 
fellow-citizens  by  saying  that  he  hoped  they 
would  not  throw  him  overboard  for  this  un 
known  man,  whose  life  they  didn't  know  and 
with  whom  they  were  not  acquainted,  who 

47 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

had  come  up  here  from  the  unexplored  tracts 
of  the  wilderness.  Mr.  Lincoln  arose  and  said, 
"Friends,  you  don't  know  very  much  about 
me.  I  haven't  had  all  the  advantages  that 
some  of  you  have  had;  but,  if  you  did  know 
everything  about  me  that  you  might  know,  you 
would  be  sure  that  there  was  nothing  in  my 
character  that  made  it  necessary  to  put  on  my 
house  a  lightning-rod  to  save  me  from  the  just 
vengeance  of  Almighty  God." 

On  another  occasion,  when  Mr.  Lincoln  was 
going  to  a  political  convention,  one  of  his  rivals, 
a  liveryman,  provided  him  with  a  slow  horse, 
hoping  that  he  would  not  reach  his  destination 
in  time.  Mr.  Lincoln  got  there,  however,  and 
when  he  returned  with  the  horse  he  said,  "You 
keep  this  horse  for  funerals,  don't  you?"  "Oh 
no,"  replied  the  liveryman.  "Well,  I'm  glad  of 
that,  for  if  you  did  you'd  never  get  a  corpse  to 
the  grave  in  time  for  the  Resurrection." 

When  he  went  to  the  Legislature  in  1854,  after 
an  absence  of  twelve  years  from  that  body,  he 
got  the  indorsement  of  the  Whigs  and  the  Know- 
Nothings,  and  the  latter  sent  a  committee  to 
him  to  acquaint  him  of  their  action.  He  rejected 
their  support  in  the  following  whimsical  fashion: 

48 


THE    DOUGLAS    DEBATES 

"Who  are  the  native  Americans?"  he  asked, 
rather  pointedly.  "Do  they  not  wear  the  breech 
clout  and  carry  the  tomahawk?  We  pushed 
them  from  their  homes,  and  now  turn  upon 
others  not  fortunate  enough  to  come  over  so 
early  as  we  or  our  forefathers.  Gentlemen  of 
the  committee,  your  party  is  wrong  in  principle." 
Then  he  told  this  story: 

"I  had  some  time  ago  an  Irishman  named 
Patrick  cultivating  my  garden.  One  morning  I 
went  out  to  see  how  he  was  getting  along. 
*  Mr.  Lincoln,  what  do  yez  think  of  these  Know- 
Nothings?'  he  inquired.  I  explained  what  they 
were  trying  to  do,  and  asked  Pat  why  he  had 
not  been  born  in  America.  'Faith,'  he  replied, 
'I  wanted  to,  but  me  mother  wouldn't  let  me.'  " 

To  Speed  he  wrote,  in  1855,  trying  to  define 
his  political  faith,  as  follows: 

"You  inquire  where  I  now  stand.  This  is  a 
disputed  point.  I  think  I  am  a  Whig;  but  others 
say  there  are  no  Whigs,  and  that  I  am  an  Aboli 
tionist.  When  I  was  at  Washington  I  voted  for 
the  Wilmot  Proviso  as  good  as  forty  times;  and 
I  never  heard  of  any  one  attempting  to  unwhig 
me  for  that.  I  now  do  no  more  than  oppose  the 
extension  of  slavery.  I  am  not  a  Know-Nothing, 
that  is  certain.  How  could  I  be?  How  can  any 

4  49 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

one  who  abhors  the  oppression  of  negroes  be  in 
favor  of  degrading  classes  of  white  people  ?  Our 
progress  in  degeneracy  appears  to  me  to  be 
pretty  rapid.  As  a  nation  we  began  by  de 
claring  that  'All  men  are  created  equal.'  We 
now  practically  read  it,  'All  men  are  created 
equa^ negroes.'  When  the  Know-Nothings  get 
control  it  will  read,  'All  men  are  created  equal 
except  negroes  and  foreigners  and  Catholics.' 
When  it  comes  to  this  I  shall  prefer  emigrating 
to  some  country  where  they  make  no  pretense  of 
loving  liberty." 

A  good  instance  of  the  execution  which  Mr. 
Lincoln  sometimes  effected  with  a  story  occurred 
in  the  Legislature.  There  was  a  troublesome 
member  from  Wabash  County  who  gloried  par 
ticularly  in  being  a  "strict  constructionist."  He 
found  something  "unconstitutional"  in  every 
measure  that  was  brought  forward  for  discussion. 
He  was  a  member  of  the  Judiciary  Committee, 
and  was  very  apt,  after  giving  every  measure  a 
heavy  pounding,  to  advocate  its  reference  to  this 
committee.  No  amount  of  sober  argument  could 
floor  the  member  from  Wabash.  At  last  he  came 
to  be  considered  a  man  to  be  silenced,  and  Mr. 
Lincoln  was  resorted  to  for  an  expedient  by 
which  this  object  might  be  accomplished.  He 


THE    DOUGLAS    DEBATES 

soon  afterward  honored  the    draft  made  upon 
him. 

A  measure  was  brought  forward  in  which  Mr. 
Lincoln's  constituents  were  interested,  when  the 
member  from  Wabash  arose  and  discharged  all 
his  batteries  upon  its  unconstitutional  points. 
Mr.  Lincoln  then  took  the  floor,  and  with  the 
quizzical  expression  of  features  which  he  could 
assume  at  will,  and  a  mirthful  twinkle  in  his  gray 
eyes,  said:  "Mr.  Speaker,  the  attack  of  the  mem 
ber  from  Wabash  on  the  constitutionality  of  this 
measure  reminds  me  of  an  old  friend  of  mine. 
He's  a  peculiar-looking  old  fellow,  with  shaggy, 
overhanging  eyebrows  and  a  pair  of  spectacles 
under  them.  [Everybody  turned  to  the  member 
from  Wabash,  and  recognized  a  personal  descrip 
tion.]  One  morning,  just  after  the  old  man  got 
up,  he  imagined,  on  looking  out  of  his  door,  that 
he  saw  rather  a  lively  squirrel  on  a  tree  near  his 
house.  So  he  took  down  his  rifle  and  fired  at  the 
squirrel,  but  the  squirrel  paid  no  attention  to 
the  shot.  He  loaded  and  fired  again  and  again, 
until,  at  the  thirteenth  shot,  he  set  down  his  gun 
impatiently,  and  said  to  his  boy,  who  was  looking 
on: 

'Boy,  there's  something  wrong  with  this  rifle.' 

"  'Rifle's  all  right,  I  know  'tis,'  responded  the 
boy,  'but  where's  your  squirrel?' 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

'  'Don't  you  see  him,  humped  up  about  half 
way  up  the  tree?'  inquired  the  old  man,  peering 
over  his  spectacles  and  getting  mystified. 

'  'No,  I  don't,'  responded  the  boy;  and  then, 
turning  and  looking  into  his  father's  face,  he 
exclaimed:  'I  see  your  squirrel!  You  have  been 
firing  at  a  gnat  on  your  eyebrow!' ; 

Ex-Senator  Cullom  tells  this  story:  "When 
Mr.  Lincoln  was  nominated  for  Congress,  Taze- 
well  County,  in  which  we  resided,  was  a  county 
in  Lincoln's  district.  When  Mr.  Lincoln  came  to 
Tazewell  County,  father  took  him  in  his  carriage 
to  his  several  appointments  and  generally  pre 
sided  at  his  meetings.  I  attended  one  of  the 
meetings.  When  Mr.  Lincoln  was  introduced, 
he  spoke  as  follows: 

" '  Fellow-citizens,  ever  since  I  have  been  in 
Tazewell  County  my  old  friend,  Major  Cullom, 
has  been  taking  me  around.  He  has  heard  all 
my  speeches,  and  the  only  way  I  can  fool  the  old 
Major,  and  make  him  believe  I  am  not  making 
the  same  speech  all  the  time,  is  to  turn  it  "ind 
for  ind "  once  in  a  while/ 

"This  was  the  beginning  of  the  first  political 
speech  I  ever  heard  Mr.  Lincoln  deliver.  I  dis 
tinctly  remember  his  pronunciation,  'ind  for  ind.' 
You  can  imagine  how  that  caught  the  crowd." 


THE    DOUGLAS    DEBATES 

The  wonderful  simplicity  of  his  similes  made 
Emerson  compare  him  with  ^Esop.  In  one  of 
his  speeches  in  the  Douglas  debates,  speak 
ing  of  the  suppression  of  political  debate,  he 
says:  "These  popular  sovereigns  are  at  their 
work,  blowing  out  the  moral  lights  around 


us." 


And  when  he  was  in  Congress  he  spoke  of 
Folk's  message  with  regard  to  the  Mexican  War 
as  "the  half-insane  mumbling  of  a  fever-dream." 
He  also  describes  military  glory  as  "the  attrac 
tive  rainbow  that  rises  in  showers  of  blood; 
the  serpent's  eye  that  charms  to  destroy." 
Speaking  of  the  helplessness  of  the  American 
slave,  he  says:  "They  have  him  in  his  prison- 
house.  They  have  searched  his  person  and  have 
left  no  prying  instrument  with  him.  One  after 
another  they  have  closed  the  heavy  iron  doors 
upon  him,  and  now  they  have  him,  as  it  were, 
bolted  in  with  a  lock  of  a  hundred  keys,  which 
can  never  be  unlocked  without  the  concurrence 
of  every  key;  the  keys  in  the  hands  of  a  hundred 
different  men,  and  they  scattered  to  a  hundred 
different  and  distant  places;  and  they  stand 
musing  as  to  what  invention,  in  all  the  domin 
ions  of  mind  and  matter,  can  be  produced  to 
make  the  impossibility  of  his  escape  more  com 
plete  than  it  is." 

53 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

Here  is  his  modest  autobiography  as  contained 
in  the  Congressional  Directory: 

"Born  February  12,  1809,  in  Hardin  County, 
Kentucky. 

Education,  defective. 

Profession,  lawyer. 

Have  been  a  captain  of  volunteers  in  Black 
Hawk  War. 

Postmaster  in  a  very  small  office. 

Four  times  a  member  of  the  Illinois  Legislature 
and  a  member  of  the  Lower  House  of  Congress." 

He  opposed  the  Mexican  War  while  he  was  in 
Congress,  though  he  consistently  voted  for  all 
the  supplies  needful  for  the  army.  To  the  argu 
ment  that  the  war  was  not  one  of  aggression  he 
replied  that  it  reminded  him  of  the  Illinois  farmer 
who  insisted:  "I  ain't  greedy  'bout  land.  I  only 
want  what  jines  mine." 

And  later  on,  though  he  accepted  the  results 
of  the  war  with  patriotic  satisfaction,  he  was 
much  pleased  at  the  failure  of  the  Administration 
to  take  advantage  of  its  political  opportunity  and 
by  the  Whig  nomination  of  General  Taylor,  and 
declared  that  that  nomination  "took  the  Demo 
crats  on  their  blind  side." 

The  Congressional  Library  and  the  Library 
of  the  Supreme  Court,  with  their  great  stores  of 

54 


THE    DOUGLAS    DEBATES 

books,  were  like  a  gold  mine  in  his  eyes.  And 
in  his  Congressional  term  the  attendants  more 
than  once  were  amused  to  see  him  tie  up  a  lot 
of  books  in  his  bandanna  handkerchief,  stick 
his  cane  through  the  knot,  and  go  forth  to  his 
boarding-house  with  the  bundle  over  his  shoul 
der,  just  as  in  other  days  he  had  carried  his 
wardrobe  while  tramping  from  job  to  job. 

Lincoln  was  much  amused  at  this  story,  which 
he  used  to  tell:  In  1858  he  had  an  appointment 
in  Cumberland  County,  and  after  he  had  spoken 
a  Dr.  Hamburgher  (a  bitter  Democrat)  im 
pudently  jumped  up  and  said  he  would  reply. 
So  Lincoln  took  a  seat  on  the  outer  edge  of  the 
plank  seat  and  listened. 

Hamburgher  presently  got  violent  and  insult 
ing,  when  a  little,  insignificant-looking  lame  man 
jumped  up  to  Lincoln  and  said:  "Don't  mind 
him;  I  know  him;  I  live  here;  I'll  take  care  of 
him;  watch  me."  And  two  or  three  times  he 
came  to  Lincoln  and  repeated  the  admonition. 
When  Hamburgher  concluded,  the  little  lame 
man  was  on  the  platform  and  at  once  com 
menced  a  reply,  and  had  proceeded  but  a  short 
time  when  Hamburgher  roared  out:  "That's 
a  lie."  "Never  mind,"  retorted  the  lame  man, 
patronizingly,  "I'll  take  that  from  you — in  fact, 

55 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

I'll  take  anything  from  you  except  your  pills/* 
This  cut  the  doctor  to  the  raw.  "You  scoun 
drel!"  exclaimed  he,  "you  know  I've  quit  prac 
tising  medicine."  The  little  lame  man  instantly 
dropped  down  on  his  sound  knee  and,  raising  his 
hands  in  mock  worship,  exclaimed:  "Then,  thank 
God,  the  country  is  safe!" 

In  the  famous  Douglas  debates  Judge  Douglas 
called  the  Republican  party  the  "allied  army," 
and  declared  that  he  would  deal  with  it  "just 
as  the  Russians  dealt  with  the  allies  at  Sebas- 
topol;  that  is,  the  Russians  did  not  stop  to  in 
quire,  when  they  fired  a  broadside,  whether  it 
hit  an  Englishman,  a  Frenchman,  or  a  Turk." 
It  was  something  more  than  a  witticism  when 
Lincoln  rejoined,  "In  that  case,  I  beg  he  will 
indulge  us  while  we  suggest  to  him  that  those 
allies  took  Sebastopol." 

"Judge  Douglas,"  said  Mr.  Lincoln  in  the  same 
debate,  "is  of  world-wide  renown.  All  the  anx 
ious  politicians  of  his  party  .  .  .  have  been  look 
ing  upon  as  certainly  ...  to  be  President  of 
the  United  States.  They  have  seen  in  his  round, 
jolly,  fruitful  face  post-offices,  land  offices,  mar- 
shalships,  and  cabinet  appointments,  charge- 
ships,  and  foreign  missions  bursting  and  spread- 

56 


THE    DOUGLAS    DEBATES 

ing  out  in  wonderful  exuberance,  ready  to  be 
laid  hold  of  by  their  greedy  hands.  And  as  they 
have  been  gazing  upon  this  attractive  picture  so 
long  they  cannot,  in  the  little  distraction  that 
has  taken  place  in  the  party,  bring  themselves  to 
give  up  the  charming  hope,  but  with  greedier 
anxiety  they  rush  about  him,  sustain  him  and 
give  him  marches,  triumphal  entries  and  recep 
tions,  beyond  what  in  the  days  of  his  highest  pros 
perity  they  could  have  brought  about  in  his  favor. 
On  the  contrary,  nobody  has  ever  expected  me  to 
be  President.  In  my  poor,  lean,  lank  face  nobody 
has  ever  seen  that  any  cabbages  were  sprouting." 

In  one  of  his  debates  with  Stephen  A.  Douglas 
during  that  Senatorial  campaign,  Judge  Douglas 
tried  to  dismiss  from  the  people's  mind  Lin 
coln's  apprehensions  for  the  Union  by  urging 
the  people  to  trust  in  Providence.  To  this 
Lincoln  replied  by  saying  that  if  the  country 
acted  upon  this  advice  it  might  find  itself  in  the 
fix  of  the  old  woman  whose  horse  ran  away  with 
her  in  the  buggy.  She  said  that  "she  trusted  in 
Providence  till  the  britchin'  broke  and  then  she 
didn't  know  what  on  airth  to  do!" 

His  clear  vision  and  cogent  and  earnest  argu 
mentation  often  led  him  to  coin  impressive 

57 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

axioms.  At  Peoria,  in  the  Douglas  debate,  he 
said:  "When  the  white  man  governs  himself, 
that  is  self-government;  but  when  he  governs 
himself  and  also  governs  another  man,  that  is 
more  than  self-government — that  is  despotism." 
"No  man  is  good  enough  to  govern  another  man 
without  that  other's  consent." 

"Repeal  the  Missouri  Compromise,  repeal  all 
compromise;  repeal  the  Declaration  of  Indepen 
dence,  repeal  all  past  history,  still  you  can't  re 
peal  human  nature."  "Our  Republican  robe  is 
soiled  and  trailed  in  the  dust.  Let  us  purify  it. 
Let  us  turn  and  wash  it  white  in  the  spirit  if  not 
in  the  blood  of  the  Revolution." 

In  the  Douglas  debates  only  once  did  he 
descend  to  personalities,  and  then  so  whim 
sically  that  the  sting  was  taken  out  of  the  re 
crimination.  He  was,  however,  hard-driven  and 
his  patience  sorely  tried. 

"I  don't  want  to  quarrel  with  him,"  he  said, 
referring  to  Douglas;  "I  don't  want  to  call  him  a 
liar,  but  when  I  come  to  square  up  to  him,  I 
don't  know  what  else  to  call  him." 

In  one  of  the  Douglas  debates  he  said  that  the 
judge  ascribed  some  things  to  him  by  "mere 
burlesques  on  the  art  and  name  of  argument — 

58 


THE    DOUGLAS    DEBATES 

by  such   fantastic   arrangements   of  words   as 
prove  horse-chestnuts  to  be  chestnut  horses." 

On  another  occasion  Douglas,  in  one  of  his 
speeches,  made  a  strong  point  against  Lincoln  by 
telling  the  crowd  that  when  he  first  knew  Mr. 
Lincoln  he  was  a  "grocery-keeper,"  and  sold 
whisky,  cigars,  etc.  "Mr.  L.,"  he  said,  "was  a 
very  good  bartender!"  This  brought  the  laugh 
on  Lincoln,  whose  reply,  however,  soon  came, 
and  then  the  laugh  was  on  the  other  side. 

"What  Mr.  Douglas  has  said,  gentlemen,"  re 
plied  Lincoln,  "is  true  enough;  I  did  keep  a 
grocery,  and  I  did  sell  cotton,  candles  and  cigars, 
and  sometimes  whisky;  but  I  remember  in  those 
days  that  Mr.  Douglas  was  one  of  my  best 
customers.  Many  a  time  have  I  stood  on  one 
side  of  the  counter  and  sold  whisky  to  Mr. 
Douglas  on  the  other  side,  but  the  difference 
between  us  now  is  this:  I  have  left  my  side 
of  the  counter,  but  Mr.  Douglas  still  sticks  to 
his  as  tenaciously  as  ever." 

On  one  occasion,  when  Lincoln  and  Douglas 
were  "stumping"  the  State  of  Illinois  together 
as  political  opponents,  Douglas,  who  had  the 
first  speech,  remarked  that  in  early  life  his  father, 
who  he  said  was  an  excellent  cooper  by  trade, 

59 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

apprenticed  him  out  to  learn  the  cabinet  busi 
ness. 

This  was  too  good  for  Lincoln  to  let  pass,  so 
when  his  turn  came  to  reply  he  said: 

"I  had  understood  before  that  Mr.  Douglas 
had  been  bound  out  to  learn  the  cabinet-making 
business,  which  is  all  well  enough,  but  I  was  not 
aware  until  now  that  his  father  was  a  cooper.  I 
have  no  doubt,  however,  that  he  was  one,  and 
I  am  certain,  also,  that  he  was  a  very  good  one, 
for  [here  Lincoln  gently  bowed  toward  Douglas] 
he  has  made  one  of  the  best  whisky  casks  I  have 


ever  seen/3 


As  Douglas  was  a  short,  heavy-set  man,  and 
occasionally  imbibed,  the  pith  of  the  joke  was 
all  at  once  apparent,  and  most  heartily  enjoyed 
by  all. 

He  did  not  believe  in  making  voters  of  negroes 
— probably  not  at  that  stage  of  public  opinion, 
for  he  said,  "There  is  a  physical  difference  be 
tween  the  white  and  black  races  which  I  believe 
will  forever  forbid  the  two  races  living  together 
on  social  and  political  equality.  However,"  he 
continued,  "in  the  right  to  put  into  his  mouth 
the  bread  that  his  own  hands  have  earned,  the 
negro  is  the  peer  of  Judge  Douglas  or  any  other 


60 


THE    DOUGLAS    DEBATES 

Colonel  Lamon  describes  Douglas  as  always 
traveling  in  a  special  train  decorated  with 
banners  and  flags  and  accompanied  by  a  brass 
band  and  an  army  of  retainers.  Lincoln,  on  the 
other  hand,  went  by  the  ordinary  train  and  oft- 
times  by  freight,  though  the  railroad  company 
issued  special  orders  that  no  passengers  be  per 
mitted  to  travel  by  freight,  and  Lincoln  had  to 
use  his  great  powers  of  persuasion.  Much  de 
pended  on  the  politics  of  the  conductor.  "Mr. 
Lincoln  and  I,"  Lamon  writes  in  his  Life  of  Lin 
coln,  "with  other  friends,  were  traveling  in  the 
caboose  of  a  freight  train,  when  we  were  switched 
off  the  main  track  to  allow  a  special  train  to  pass 
in  which  Mr.  Lincoln's  more  aristocratic  rival  was 
being  conveyed.  The  passing  train  was  decora 
ted  with  banners  and  flags  and  carried  a  band 
of  music  which  was  playing,  'Hail  to  the  Chief!' 
As  the  train  whistled  past,  Mr.  Lincoln  broke 
out  into  a  fit  of  laughter,  and  said,  'Boys,  the 
gentleman  in  that  car  evidently  smelt  no  royalty 
in  our  carriage." 


Major  Whitney  tells  an  interesting  incident 
of  the  debate : 

"Lincoln  and  I  were  at  the  Centralia  Agri 
cultural  Fair  the  day  after  the  debate  at  Jones- 

61 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

boro.  Night  came  on  and  we  were  tired,  having 
been  on  the  fair  grounds  all  day.  We  were  to  go 
North  on  the  Illinois  Central  Railroad.  The 
train  was  due  at  midnight,  and  the  depot  was 
full  of  people.  I  managed  to  get  a  chair  for 
Lincoln  in  the  office  of  the  superintendent  of  the 
railroad,  but  small  politicians  would  intrude  so 
that  he  could  scarcely  get  a  moment's  sleep.  The 
train  came  and  was  instantly  filled.  I  got  a  seat 
near  the  door  for  Lincoln  and  myself.  He  was 
worn  out  and  he  had  to  meet  Douglas  the  next  day 
at  Charleston.  An  empty  car,  called  the  saloon 
car,  was  hitched  to  the  rear  of  the  train  and 
locked  up.  I  asked  the  conductor,  who  knew 
Lincoln  and  myself  well — we  were  both  attorneys 
of  the  road — if  Lincoln  could  not  ride  in  that  car; 
that  he  was  exhausted  and  needed  rest;  but  the 
conductor  refused.  I  afterward  got  him  in  by 
stratagem.  At  the  same  time,  George  B.  Me- 
Clellan  in  person  (then  vice-president  of  the 
road)  was  taking  Douglas  around  in  a  special 
car  and  a  special  train;  and  that  was  the  unjust 
treatment  Lincoln  got  from  the  Illinois  Central 
Railroad/' 

On  one  occasion  some  of  Lincoln's  friends  were 
talking  of  the  diminutive  stature  of  Stephen  A. 
Douglas,  and  an  argument  as  to  the  proper  length 

62 


THE    DOUGLAS    DEBATES 

of  a  man's  legs.  During  the  discussion  Lincoln 
came  in,  and  it  was  agreed  that  the  question 
should  be  referred  to  him  for  decision. 

"Well,"  said  he,  reflectively,  "I  should  think 
a  man's  legs  ought  to  be  long  enough  to  reach 
from  his  body  to  the  ground." 

Lincoln  once  commented  on  Douglas's  posi 
tion  with  regard  to  the  extension  of  slavery  into 
the  Territories  as  follows: 

"The  Judge  holds  that  a  thing  may  be  lawfully 
driven  away  from  a  place  where  it  has  a  lawful 
right  to  be." 

Another  epigram,  this  speaking  of  Douglas's 
joint  debates: 
"  Explanations  explanatory  of  things  explained/* 

His  wonderful  grasp  of  the  political  situation 
and  of  the  slavery  question  is  excellently  illus 
trated  in  the  following,  from  one  of  his  speeches 
in  the  Douglas  debate: 

"The  sum  of  pro-slavery  theology  seems  to  be 
this:  'Slavery  is  not  universally  right,  nor  yet 
universally  wrong;  it  is  better  for  some  people 
to  be  slaves;  and,  in  such  cases,  it  is  the  will  of 
God  that  they  be  such.'  Certainly  there  is  no 
contending  against  the  will  of  God;  but  still  there 

<* 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

is  some  difficulty  in  ascertaining  and  applying 
it  to  particular  cases.  For  instance,  we  will 
suppose  the  Rev.  Dr.  Ross  has  a  slave  named 
Sambo,  and  the  question  is,  'Is  it  the  will  of 
God  that  Sambo  shall  remain  a  slave,  or  be  set 
free?'  The  Almighty  gives  no  audible  answer 
to  the  question,  and  His  revelation,  the  Bible, 
gives  none — or  at  most  none  but  such  that  ad 
mits  a  squabble  as  to  His  meaning;  no  one  thinks 
of  asking  Sambo's  opinion  on  it.  So  at  last  it 
comes  to  this,  that  Dr.  Ross  is  to  decide  the 
question;  and  while  he  considers  it  he  sits  in 
the  shade,  with  gloves  on  his  hands,  and  subsists 
on  the  bread  that  Sambo  is  earning  in  the  burn 
ing  sun.  If  he  decides  that  God  wills  Sambo  to 
continue  a  slave,  he  thereby  retains  his  own 
comfortable  position;  but  if  he  decides  that  God 
willed  Sambo  to  be  free,  he  thereby  has  to  walk 
out  of  the  shade,  throw  off  his  gloves,  and  delve 
for  his  own  bread.  Will  Dr.  Ross  be  actuated 
by  the  perfect  impartiality  which  has  ever  been 
considered  most  favorable  to  correct  decisions?" 

Mr.  Lincoln,  being  asked  by  a  friend  how  he  felt 
when  the  returns  came  in  that  insured  his  defeat 
for  the  Senate,  replied  that  he  felt,  he  supposed, 
very  much  like  the  stripling  who  had  stumped  his 
toe — too  badly  to  laugh  and  too  big  to  cry. 


THE    DOUGLAS    DEBATES 

Speaking  of  the  success  of  Judge  Douglas  and 
his  own  failure,  he  gave  utterance  to  this  noble 
sentiment:  "I  affect  no  contempt  for  the  high 
eminence  he  has  reached.  So  reached  that  the 
oppressed  of  my  species  might  have  shared  with 
me  in  the  elevation,  I  would  rather  stand  on  that 
eminence  than  wear  the  richest  crown  that  ever 
pressed  a  monarch's  brow." 
I 


PART  IV 
AT  THE  WHITE   HOUSE 


IV 

AT  THE  WHITE  HOUSE 

THE  President  once  related  an  incident  that 
had  occurred  at  Decatur  when  the  Illinois 
Republicans  named  him  as  their  choice  for  the 
Presidency.     An  old  Democrat  from  "Egypt," 
as  southern  Illinois  was  called,  approached  Mr, 
Lincoln  and  said,  "So  you're  Abe  Lincoln?" 
"Yes,  that  is  my  name." 
"They  say  you're  a  self-made  man." 
"Well,  yes;  what  there  is  of  me  is  self-made/' 
"Well,  all  I've  got  to  say,"  observed  the  old 
man,  after  a  careful  survey  of  the  Republican 
candidate,  "is  that  it  was  a  d — d  bad  job." 

When  the  Republican  Convention  of  1860  was 
about  to  be  held  in  Chicago,  Seward  stayed  at 
home  in  Auburn.  When  Lincoln  was  asked 
whether  he  would  go  to  the  Chicago  Convention, 
he  replied,  quaintly,  "I  am  a  little  too  much  of 
a  candidate  to  go,  and  not  quite  enough  of  a 
candidate  to  stay  away;  but  upon  the  whole  I 
believe  I  will  not  go." 

69 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

During  the  sitting  of  the  Chicago  Convention 
Lincoln  had  been  trying,  in  one  way  or  another, 
to  keep  down  the  excitement  which  was  pent 
up  within  him  by  amusing  himself  and  telling 
stories.  When  the  news  actually  reached  him  he 
was  in  the  editorial  office  of  the  Journal.  He 
got  up  at  once  and  allowed  a  little  crowd  to 
shake  hands  with  him  mechanically,  then  said: 

"I  reckon  there's  a  little  woman  down  at 
our  house  that  would  like  to  hear  the  news," 
and  he  started  with  rapid  strides  for  home. 

When  it  became  an  assured  fact  that  he  was 
elected,  the  President-elect  got  ready  for  his 
eastward  journey,  and  he  and  Mrs.  Lincoln  paid 
a  brief  visit  to  Chicago,  where  his  wife  bought 
a  silk  dress  for  the  inaugural  ceremonies. 
When  they  got  home,  and  were  unpacking  their 
purchases,  Mr.  Lincoln  said:  "Well,  wife,  there 
is  one  thing  vi^Kkfly  to  come  out  of  this 
scrape,  anyhow.  We  are  going  to  have  some 
new  clothes." 

It  cannot  be  charged  that  Mr.  Lincoln  was  a 
husband  to  grace  fashionable  society.  He  hated 
clothing  of  all  sorts,  and  it  was  his  habit,  on  reach 
ing  his  office  or  his  home,  to  take  off  his  boots,  as 
he  naively  expressed  it,  "to  allow  his  feet  to 

70 


AT    THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

breathe/'  and  very  often  he  would  receive  the 
friends  of  his  wife  at  the  door  in  his  shirt 
sleeves.  He  was  a  thoroughly  informal  man. 
At  the  time  of  the  Chicago  visit  just  referred  to, 
a  prominent  lady  called  by  appointment  to  see 
Mrs.  Lincoln.  He  received  the  caller  and, 
apologizing  for  his  wife's  tardiness,  explained 
that  she  would  be  down  "as  soon  as  she  got  all 
her  trotting  harness  on." 

Soon  after  Lincoln's  election  he  held  a  re 
ception  in  the  principal  hotel  in  Chicago.  For 
several  hours  a  continuous  procession  of  his 
friends  and  admirers  passed  before  him,  many 
of  them  old  and  intimate  acquaintances.  It  was 
amusing  to  observe  Lincoln's  unfeigned  enjoy 
ment,  and  to  hear  his  hearty  greeting  in  answer 
to  familiar  friends  who  exclaimed,  "How  are 
you,  Abe?"  he,  responding  in  like  manner  with 
"Hello,  Bill!"  or  "Jack!"  or  "Tom!"  alternately 
pulling  or  pushing  them  along  with  his  powerful 
hand  and  arm,  saying,  "There's  no  time  to  talk 
now,  boys;  we  must  not  stop  this  big  procession, 


so  move  on." 


One  day  after  his  election,  while  a  group  of 
distinguished  politicians  from  a  distance  were 
sitting  in  the  Governor's  room  at  Springfield, 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

111.,  chatting  with  Lincoln,  the  door  opened  and 
an  old  lady  in  a  big  sunbonnet  and  the  garb 
of  a  farmer's  wife  came  in. 

"I  wanted  to  give  you  something  to  take 
to  Washington,  Mr.  Lincoln,"  she  said,  "and 
these  are  all  I  had.  I  spun  the  yarn  and  knit 
them  socks  myself."  And  with  an  air  of  pride 
she  handed  him  a  pair  of  blue  woolen  stock 
ings. 

Lincoln  thanked  her  cordially  for  her  thought- 
fulness,  inquired  after  the  folks  at  home,  and 
escorted  her  to  the  door  as  politely  as  if  she  had 
been  the  Queen  of  England.  Then,  when  he  re 
turned  to  the  room,  he  picked  up  the  stockings, 
held  them  by  the  toes,  one  in  each  hand,  and 
with  a  queer  smile  upon  his  face  remarked  to  the 
statesmen  around  him: 

"The  old  lady  got  my  latitude  and  longitude 
about  right,  didn't  she?" 

When  the  election  was  over  and  his  friends 
begged  him  to  assure  the  South  that  he  contem 
plated  no  adverse  action,  he  resisted  the  tempta 
tion  and  said  that  it  reminded  him  of  one  of  his 
experiences  on  the  circuit  when  he  saw  a  lawyer 
making  frantic  signals  to  an  associate  who  was 
making  blundering  admissions  to  the  jury,  utterly 
oblivious  of  the  wreck  he  was  making  of  the  case. 

72 


AT   THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

"Now,  that's  the  way  with  Buchanan  and  me. 
He  is  giving  the  case  away,  and  I  can't  stop 
him." 

One  of  the  most  affecting  and  tenderest  exam 
ples  of  Lincoln's  oratory  is  his  farewell  speech  to 
his  Springfield  friends  and  neighbors  on  the  eve 
of  his  departure  for  Washington,  February  n, 
1861: 

"My  friends,  no  one  not  in  my  position  can 
realize  the  sadness  I  feel  at  this  parting.  To  this 
people  I  owe  all  that  I  am.  Here  I  have  lived 
more  than  a  quarter  of  a  century.  Here  my  chil 
dren  were  born,  and  here  one  of  them  lies  buried. 
I  know  not  how  soon  I  shall  see  you  again.  I  go 
to  assume  a  task  more  difficult  than  that  which 
has  devolved  upon  any  other  man  since  the  days 
of  Washington.  He  never  would  have  succeeded 
except  for  the  aid  of  Divine  Providence,  upon 
which  he  at  all  times  relied.  I  feel  that  I  can 
not  succeed  without  the  same  Divine  blessing 
which  sustained  him;  and  on  the  same  Almighty 
Being  I  place  my  reliance  for  support.  And  I 
hope  you,  my  friends,  will  all  pray  that  I  may 
receive  that  Divine  assistance  without  which 
I  cannot  succeed,  but  with  which  success  is 
certain.  Again  I  bid  you  an  affectionate  fare 
well." 

73 


LINCOLN'S   OWN    STORIES 

Upon  Mr.  Lincoln's  arrival  in  Washington  he 
immediately  handed  a  copy  of  his  inaugural  ad 
dress  to  his  future  Secretary  of  State,  and  the 
latter  revised  it  in  a  vigorous  and  arrogant  man 
ner.  Mr.  Seward  was  always  ready  to  offer 
advice  and  give  directions  upon  every  subject. 
Lincoln  listened  with  respectful  attention,  but 
continued  to  exercise  his  own  judgment,  and  the 
spirit  of  independence  he  showed  concerning  sev 
eral  matters  which  Mr.  Seward  undertook  to 
decide  for  him  so  alarmed  the  latter  that  two 
days  before  the  inauguration  he  wrote  a  polite 
note  asking  leave  to  withdraw  his  acceptance  of 
the  office  of  Secretary  of  State.  The  note  was 
received  on  Saturday.  Any  other  man  but  Lin 
coln  would  have  been  disconcerted  at  least,  and 
would  have  immediately  sought  advice  and  as 
sistance;  but  he  did  not  mention  the  matter  to 
any  one,  nor  did  he  make  any  reply  until  Mon 
day  morning.  Then,  while  waiting  at  Willard's 
Hotel  for  President  Buchanan  to  escort  him  to 
the  Capitol,  he  dictated  a  brief  note,  saying: 
"I  feel  constrained  to  beg  that  you  will  counter 
mand  the  withdrawal.  The  public  interest,  I  think, 
demands  that  you  should,  and  my  personal  feel 
ings  are  deeply  enlisted  in  the  same  direction/5 

He  handed  the  note  to  Mr.  Nicolay,  saying, 
"I  can't  afford  to  let  Seward  take  the  first  trick." 

74 


AT    THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

While  Mr.  Lincoln  was  a  man  of  great  evenness 
of  temper  and  kindness  of  disposition,  he  was  at 
the  same  time  a  masterful  man.  He  permitted 
no  man  to  meddle  with  his  official  responsibili 
ties.  This  is  illustrated  in  the  following  story: 
Soon  after  the  outbreak  of  the  war,  it  is  said  that 
Secretary  Seward  advised  the  President  to  con 
fine  his  energies  solely  to  military  and  internal 
affairs,  and  to  leave  him  (Seward)  as  prime  min 
ister,  to  deal  with  our  foreign  affairs.  Mr.  Seward 
proposed  to  submit  his  views  on  the  subject  in 
writing.  The  President  assented.  The  story 
goes,  that  one  day  Seward  called  on  the  President 
with  a  voluminous  paper  which  he  had  prepared, 
folded  and  indorsed.  The  President  took  it. 
In  front  of  him,  on  his  table,  was  a  row  of  trays. 
They  were  labeled  "Secretary  of  State,"  "Sec 
retary  of  War,"  and  so  on,  and  the  last  tray  was 
marked  "Unimportant."  Glancing  along  down 
the  list  to  the  last,  the  President  plumped  into 
it  Mr.  Seward's  suggestions  in  writing,  saying 
that  if  the  things  suggested  by  Mr.  Seward  must 
be  done,  he  (the  President)  must  do  them.  In 
that  modest  way  he  gave  Mr.  Seward  to  under 
stand  that  the  President  was  not  delegating  the 
responsibilities  of  his  administration  to  any  one 
else.  Two  months  afterward  Secretary  Seward 
had  become  better  acquainted  with  Mr.  Lincoln, 

75 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

and  in  a  letter  to  his  wife  he  said,  "The  President 
is  the  best  of  us  all." 

Men  rushed  to  the  White  House  in  offended 
dignity  to  complain  of  the  high-handed  measures 
of  the  new  Secretary,  Stanton.  To  smooth  the 
ruffled  feelings  of  one  of  them,  Lincoln  told  a 
story.  "We  may,"  he  said,  "have  to  treat 
Stanton  as  they  are  sometimes  obliged  to  treat 
a  Methodist  minister  I  know  out  West.  He  gets 
wrought  up  to  so  high  a  pitch  of  excitement  in 
his  prayers  and  exhortations  that  they  put  bricks 
in  his  pockets  to  keep  him  down.  But  I  guess," 
the  President  concluded,  with  a  twinkle,  "we'll 
let  him  jump  a  while  first." 

The  following  story  is  told  of  the  Hon.  Peter 
Harvey,  the  friend  and  biographer  of  Daniel 
Webster: 

Mr.  Harvey  was  a  very  large  man  with  a  small 
voice  and  that  pomposity  of  manner  that  very 
many  diffident  men  possess.  Above  everything 
he  valued  and  prized  himself  upon  his  friendship 
with  the  "Great  Expounder." 

The  first  year  of  the  war  he  went  to  Washing 
ton,  and  on  his  return  was  asked  how  he  liked 
President  Lincoln. 

"Well,"  he  said,  "Mr.  Lincoln  is  a  very  sin- 
76 


AT    THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

gular  man.  I  went  on  to  see  him,  and  told  him 
that  I'd  been  an  intimate  personal  friend  of 
Daniel  Webster;  that  I  had  talked  with  him  so 
much  on  the  affairs  of  the  country  that  I  felt 
perfectly  competent  to  tell  him  what  Mr.  Webster 
would  advise  in  the  present  crisis;  and  thereupon 
I  talked  to  Mr.  Lincoln  for  two  solid  hours,  tell 
ing  him  just  what  he  should  do  and  what  he 
should  not  do;  and  would  you  believe  it,  sir,  when 
I  got  through,  all  Mr.  Lincoln  said  was,  as  he 
clapped  his  hand  on  my  leg,  'Mr.  Harvey,  what 
tremendous  great  calves  you  have  got!'" 

At  the  opening  of  the  administration  he  was 
overwhelmed  with  persistent  office-seekers,  and 
so  much  of  his  time  was  occupied  in  listening  to 
their  demands  and  trying  to  gratify  them  that 
he  felt  he  was  not  attending  to  military  affairs 
and  matters  of  public  policy  as  closely  as  he 
should.  He  compared  himself  to  a  man  who 
was  so  busy  letting  rooms  at  one  end  of  his 
house  that  he  had  no  time  to  put  out  a  fire  that 
was  destroying  the  other  end.  And  when  he 
was  attacked  with  the  varioloid  in  1861  he  said 
to  his  usher: 

"Tell  all  the  office-seekers  to  come  and  see 
me,  for  now  I  have  something  that  I  can  give 
them." 

77 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

The  political  problems  alone  would  have  been 
as  great  a  load  as  mortal  man  might  have  been 
expected  to  carry,  but  his  perplexities  were  in 
creased,  his  time  occupied,  and  his  patience 
sorely  tested  by  such  an  undignified  and  un 
patriotic  clamor  for  offices  as  has  never  been 
exceeded  in  the  history  of  our  government.  The 
Democratic  party  had  been  in  power  for  many 
years.  Every  position  in  the  gift  of  President 
Buchanan  had  been  filled  with  a  Democrat, 
many  of  them  Southern  sympathizers,  and  now 
hordes  of  hungry  Republicans  besieged  the 
White  House  demanding  appointments.  The 
situation  was  described  by  the  President  in  a 
single  ejaculation.  A  Senator  who  noticed  an 
expression  of  anxiety  and  dejection  upon  his 
face  inquired: 

"Has  anything  gone  wrong,  Mr.  President? 
Have  you  heard  bad  news  from  Fort  Sumter?" 

"No,"  answered  the  President,  solemnly,  "it's 
the  post-office  at  Jonesville,  Missouri." 

There  was  an  ignorant  man  who  once  applied 
to  Lincoln  for  the  post  of  doorkeeper  to  the 
House.  This  man  had  no  right  to  ask  Lincoln 
for  anything.  It  was  necessary  to  repulse  him. 
But  Lincoln  repulsed  him  gently  and  whim 
sically,  without  hurting  his  feelings,  in  this  way: 

78 


AT    THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

"So  you  want  to  be  doorkeeper  of  the  House, 
eh?" 

"Yes,  Mr.  President." 

"Well,  have  you  ever  been  a  doorkeeper? 
Have  you  ever  had  any  experience  of  door- 
keeping?" 

"Well,  no — no  actual  experience,  sir." 

"Any  theoretical  experience?  Any  instruc 
tions  in  the  duties  and  ethics  of  doorkeeping? 

"Umph— no." 

"Have  you  ever  attended  lectures  on  door- 
keeping?" 

"No,  sir." 

"Have  you  read  any  text  on  the  subject?" 

"No." 

"Have  you  conversed  with  any  one  who  has 
read  such  a  book?" 

"No,  sir;  I'm  afraid  not,  sir." 

"Well,  then,  my  friend,  don't  you  see  that 
you  haven't  a  single  qualification  for  this  im 
portant  post?"  said  Lincoln,  in  a  reproachful 
tone. 

"Yes,  I  do,"  said  the  applicant,  and  he  took 
leave  humbly,  almost  gratefully. 

A  delegation  once  waited  upon  Mr.  Lincoln  to 
ask  the  appointment  of  a  gentleman  as  Com 
missioner  to  the  Sandwich  Islands. 

79 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

Besides  his  fitness  for  the  place  they  urged 
his  bad  health.  The  President  said: 

"Gentlemen,  I  am  sorry  to  say  that  there  are 
eight  other  applicants  for  that  place  and  they 
are  all  sicker  than  your  man." 

To  a  member  of  Congress  who  applied  to  him 
for  a  mess  of  patronage  he  said:  "Your  demand 
illustrates  the  difference  between  the  abstract 
and  the  concrete.  When  a  bill  is  pending  to 
create  more  army  officers  you  take  the  floor  and 
denounce  it  (although  you  dodge  a  vote  on  it) 
as  a  needless  scheme  to  increase  the  power  and 
tyranny  of  the  Executive;  but  as  soon  as  the 
bill  becomes  a  law  you  come  here  and  demand 
that  all  your  brothers-in-law  and  cousins  and 
nephews  be  appointed  under  it:  your  action  in 
Congress  is  abstract,  but  in  the  Executive  Cham 
ber  is  concrete." 

Thurlow  Weed  relates  that  he  was  one  day 
opposing  the  claims  of  Montgomery  Blair,  who 
aspired  to  a  Cabinet  appointment,  when  Mr, 
Lincoln  inquired  of  him  whom  he  would  recom 
mend.  "Henry  Winter  Davis,"  was  the  re 
sponse.  "David  Davis,  I  see,  has  been  post 
ing  you  up  on  this  question,"  retorted  Lin 
coln.  "He  has  Davis  on  the  brain.  I  think 

80 


AT   THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

Maryland   must    be    a    good    State    to    move 
from." 

The  President  then  told  a  story  of  a  witness 
in  court  in  a  neighboring  county,  who,  on  being 
asked  his  age  replied,  "Sixty."  Being  satisfied 
he  was  much  older,  the  question  was  repeat 
ed,  "The  court  knows  you  to  be  much  older 
than  sixty."  "Oh,  I  understand  now,"  was 
the  rejoinder,  "you're  thinking  of  those  ten 
years  I  spent  on  the  eastern  shore  of  Mary 
land;  that  was  so  much  time  lost,  and  don't 


count." 


"The  Democrats  must  vote  to  hold  the  Union 
now,"  he  once  said,  referring  to  the  political 
situation,  "without  bothering  whether  we  or 
the  Southern  men  got  things  where  they  are. 
And  we  must  make  it  easy  for  them  to  do  this, 
for  we  cannot  live  through  the  case  without 
them." 

He  then  told  about  the  Illinois  man  who  was 
chased  by  a  fierce  bull  in  a  pasture,  and,  dodging 
around  a  tree,  caught  the  tail  of  the  pursuing 
beast.  After  pawing  the  earth  for  a  time  the 
bull  broke  away  on  a  run,  snorting  at  every 
jump,  while  the  man  clinging  to  its  tail  cried 
out,  "Darn  you,  who  commenced  this  fuss?"  A 
remarkably  clear  view  of  the  case. 

6  81 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

Could  any  (even  a  professional)  wag  take  off 
the  swagger  of  a  certain  New  Jersey  Congress 
man  better  than  this  ?  He  called  on  the  President 
with  two  of  his  constituents,  in  order  to  see  Lin 
coln  as  they  would  a  show.  "Mr.  President," 
said  he,  "this  is  Mr.  X  and  Mr.  Y,  and  they  are 
among  the  weightiest  men  in  Southern  New 
Jersey."  After  they  had  gone  Lincoln  said,  "I 
wonder  that  end  of  the  State  didn't  tip  up 
when  they  got  off  it." 

Once,  as  Lincoln  was  passing  along  Pennsyl 
vania  Avenue,  a  man  came  running  after  him, 
hailed  him,  and  thrust  a  bundle  of  papers  into 
his  hand,  requesting  consideration  for  some  petty 
office.  It  angered  him  not  a  little,  and  he  pitched 
the  papers  back,  saying,  "I'm  not  going  to  open 
shop  here." 

A  Western  Senator  who  had  failed  of  a  re 
election  brought  his  successor,  one  day,  and  in 
troduced  him  to  the  President.  Lincoln,  in 
reply,  expressed  his  gratification  at  making  the 
acquaintance  of  a  new  Senator.  "Yet,"  he  added, 

"I  hate  to  have  old  friends  like  Senator  W 

go  away.  And — another  thing — I  usually  find 
that  a  Senator  or  Representative  out  of  business 
is  a  sort  of  lame  duck.  He  has  to  be  provided 

82 


AT    THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

for."  When  the  two  gentlemen  had  withdrawn  I 

took  the  liberty  of  saying  that  Mr.  W did  not 

seem  to  relish  that  remark.  Weeks  after,  when  I 
had  forgotten  the  circumstance,  the  President 
said,  "You  thought  I  was  almost  rude  to  Senator 

W the  other  day.     Well,  now   he  wants 

Commissioner  Dole's  place!"  Mr.  Dole  was 
then  Commissioner  of  Indian  Affairs. 

0k 

It  is  said  that  Lincoln  very  seldom  invented  a 
story.  Once  he  said:  "You  speak  of  Lincoln 
stories.  I  don't  think  that  is  a  correct  phrase. 
I  don't  make  the  stories  mine  by  telling  them. 
I'm  only  a  retail  dealer." 

Scripture  stories  and  incidents  were  also  used 
by  Lincoln  to  illustrate  his  argument  or  to  en 
force  a  point.  Judge  E had  been  concerned 

in  a  certain  secret  organization  of  "radical" 
Republicans,  whose  design  was  to  defeat  Lin 
coln's  renomination.  When  this  futile  opposi 
tion  had  died  out  the  Judge  was  pressed  by  his 
friends  for  a  profitable  office.  Lincoln  appointed 
him,  and  to  one  who  remonstrated  against  such 
a  display  of  magnanimity  he  replied:  "Well,  I 

suppose  Judge  E ,  having  been  disappointed 

before,  did  behave  pretty  ugly;  but  that  wouldn't 
make  him  any  less  fit  for  this  place,  and  I  have 

83 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

Scriptural  authority  for  appointing  him.  You 
remember  that  when  Moses  was  on  Mount  Sinai, 
getting  a  commission  for  Aaron,  that  same  Aaron 
was  at  the  foot  of  the  mountain  making  a  false 
god  for  the  people  to  worship.  Yet  Aaron  got 
his  commission,  you  know." 

The  late  Chief-Justice  Carter,  of  the  District 
of  Columbia,  once  called  upon  Lincoln  with  a 
party  of  politicians  to  secure  the  appointment 
of  a  gentleman  who  was  opposed  by  the  Senators 
from  his  State.  Lincoln  suggested  that  they 
ought  to  get  the  Senators  on  their  side.  They 
replied  that,  owing  to  local  complications,  such 
a  thing  was  impossible.  Lincoln  retorted  that 
nothing  was  impossible  in  politics;  that  the  pe 
culiarities  of  the  Senator  referred  to  were  well 
known,  and  that  by  the  use  of  a  little  tact  and 
diplomacy  he  might  be  brought  around,  in  which 
case  there  would  be  no  doubt  about  the  appoint 
ment.  To  clinch  his  argument,  Lincoln  told  a 
story  of  James  Quarles,  a  distinguished  lawyer 
of  Tennessee.  Quarles,  he  said,  was  trying  a 
case,  and  after  producing  his  evidence  rested; 
whereupon  the  defense  produced  a  witness  who 
swore  Quarles  completely  out  of  court,  and  a 
verdict  was  rendered  accordingly.  After  the 
trial  one  of  his  friends  came  to  him  and  said: 

84 


AT   THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

"Why  didn't  you  get  that  feller  to  swar  on 
your  side?" 

"I  didn't  know  anything  about  him,"  replied 
Quarles. 

"I  might  have  told  you  about  him,"  said  the 
friend,  "for  he  would  swar  for  you  jest  as  hard 
as  he'd  swar  for  the  other  side.  That's  his 
business.  Judge,  that  feller  takes  in  swarm'  for 
a  livin'." 

Anthony  J.  Bleecker  tells  his  experience  in  ap 
plying  for  a  position  under  Mr.  Lincoln.  The 
President  requested  him  to  read  his  vouchers. 
Before  Bleecker  got  half  through  the  President 
cried  out,  "Oh,  stop!  You  are  like  the  man  who 
killed  the  dog."  "In  what  respect?"  said 
Bleecker,  not  feeling  particularly  flattered  by  the 
comparison.  Mr.  Lincoln  replied:  "He  had  a 
vicious  animal  which  he  determined  to  de 
spatch,  and  accordingly  knocked  out  its  brains 
with  a  club.  He  continued  striking  the  dog 
until  a  friend  stayed  his  hand,  exclaiming,  'You 
needn't  strike  him  any  more  —  the  dog  is  dead; 
you  killed  him  at  the  first  blow.*  'Oh  yes/ 
said  he,  'I  know  that;  but  I  believe  in  punish 
ment  after  death.'  So,  I  see,  do  you." 

Mr.  Bleecker  acknowledged  that  it  was  pos 
sible  to  do  too  much  sorxsccimes,  and  he  in  his 

85 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

turn  told  an  anecdote  of  a  good  priest  who  con 
verted  an  Indian  from  heathenism  to  Christian 
ity;  the  only  difficulty  he  had  with  him  was  to 
get  him  to  pray  for  his  enemies.  "The  Indian 
had  been  taught  by  his  father  to  overcome  and 
destroy  them.  'That,'  said  the  priest,  'may  be 
the  Indian's  creed,  but  it  is  not  the  doctrine 
of  Christianity  or  the  Bible.  St.  Paul  distinctly 
says,  "If  thine  enemy  hunger,  feed  him;  if  he 
thirst,  give  him  drink."  The  Indian  shook  his 
head  at  this  and  seemed  dejected;  but  when  the 
priest  added,  'For  in  so  doing  thou  shalt  heap 
coals  of  fire  upon  his  head,'  the  poor  convert 
was  overcome  with  emotion,  fell  on  his  knees, 
and  with  outstretched  hands  and  uplifted  eyes 
invoked  all  sorts  of  blessings  on  his  adversary's 
head,  supplicating  for  pleasant  hunting-grounds, 
a  large  supply  of  squaws,  lots  of  papooses,  and 
all  other  Indian  comforts,  till  the  good  priest 
interrupted  him  (as  you  did  me),  exclaiming, 
'  Stop,  my  son !  You  have  discharged  your  Chris 
tian  duty,  and  have  done  more  than  enough.' 
'Oh  no,  Father,'  says  the  Indian,  'let  me  pray! 
I  want  to  burn  him  down  to  the  stump!' J 
Mr.  Bleecker  got  the  job. 

"On  arriving  at  the  White  House,"  relates 
General  Wilson,   "I   found  a  Congressman  in 

86 


AT   THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

earnest  conversation  with  the  President.  Look 
ing  at  me  as  if  I  were  an  intruder,  the  politician 
stopped,  and  Mr.  Lincoln  said,  'It  is  all  right — 
we  are  going  out  together;  so  turn  on  your  ora 
tory.'  So  the  member  resumed  talking  vigor 
ously  for  five  minutes  or  more,  in  behalf  of  his 
constituent,  an  applicant  for  some  office.  The 
President,  looking  critically  at  the  right  side  of 
his  face  and  then  on  the  left,  remarked,  in  an 
interested  manner,  'Why,  how  close  you  do 
shave,  John!'  That  was  the  way  in  which  he 
baffled  the  office-seekers;  and,  although  the  Con 
gressman  was  disappointed,  of  course,  he  could 
not  avoid  laughing.  After  his  departure  I  said, 
'Mr.  President,  is  that  the  way  you  manage 
the  politicians?'  And  he  answered,  'Well,  you 
must  not  suppose  you  have  all  the  strategy  in 
the  army.'" 

H.  C.  Whitney  relates  the  following  story:  "I 
was  in  Washington  in  regard  to  the  Indian  service 
for  a  few  days  in  1861,  and  I  said  to  Mr.  Lincoln 
one  day,  'Everything  is  drifting  into  the  war, 
and  I  guess  you'll  have  to  put  me  in  the  army/ 
He  looked  up  from  his  work  and  said,  good- 
humoredly  :  'I'm  making  generals  now.  In 
a  few  days  I'll  be  making  quartermasters,  and 
then  I'll  fix  you.'" 

87 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

Certain  officials  in  the  government  employ 
were  very  anxious  to  get  absolute  control  of 
certain  moneys  to  be  disbursed  by  them.  These 
moneys  were  formerly  controlled  by  the  district 
attorneys  of  certain  districts,  and  the  control  of 
these  district  attorneys  they  were  anxious  to  set 
aside,  and  they  came  to  the  President  with  this 
plea.  He  knew  what  they  wanted,  and  told 
them  the  following  story: 

"You  are  very  much  like  a  man  in  Illinois 
whose  cabin  was  burned  down,  and,  according 
to  the  kindly  custom  of  early  days  in  the  West, 
his  neighbors  all  contributed  something  to  start 
him  again.  In  his  case  they  had  been  so  liberal 
that  he  soon  found  himself  better  off  than  before 
the  fire,  and  got  proud.  One  day  a  neighbor 
brought  him  a  bag  of  oats,  but  the  fellow  refused 
it  with  scorn,  and  said,  'I  am  not  taking  oats  now; 
I  take  nothing  but  money/  ' 

While  Lincoln  was  always  very  patient,  he 
often  adopted  droll  methods  of  getting  rid  of 
bores.  The  late  Justice  Carter  of  the  Supreme 
Court  of  the  District  of  Columbia  used  to  relate 
an  incident  of  a  Philadelphia  man  who  called  at 
the  White  House  so  frequently,  and  took  up  so 
much  of  the  President's  time,  that  the  latter 
finally  lost  his  patience.  One  day  when  the 

88 


AT   THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

gentleman  was  particularly  verbose  and  per 
sistent,  and  refused  to  leave,  although  he  knew 
that  important  delegations  were  waiting,  Lincoln 
arose,  walked  over  to  a  wardrobe  in  the  corner 
of  the  Cabinet  chamber,  and  took  a  bottle  from 
a  shelf.  Looking  gravely  at  his  visitor,  whose 
head  was  very  bald,  he  remarked: 

"Did  you  ever  try  this  stuff  for  your  hair?" 

"No,  sir,  I  never  did." 

"Well,"  remarked  Lincoln,  "I  advise  you  to 
try  it,  and  I  will  give  you  this  bottle.  If  at  first 
you  don't  succeed,  try,  try  again.  Keep  it  up. 
They  say  it  will  make  hair  grow  on  a  pumpkin. 
Now  take  it  and  come  back  in  eight  or  ten  months 
and  tell  me  how  it  works." 

The  astonished  Philadelphian  left  the  room 
instantly  without  a  word,  carrying  the  bottle  in 
his  hand,  and  Judge  Carter,  coming  in  with 
the  next  delegation,  found  the  President  doubled 
up  with  laughter  at  the  success  of  his  strategy. 
Before  he  could  proceed  to  business  the  story 
had  to  be  told. 

He  had  a  soft  spot  in  his  heart  for  the  wounded 
soldiers  who  were  incapacitated  for  duty,  or,  for 
that  matter,  for  any  kind  of  usefulness,  as  this 
message  to  the  Senate  will  prove: 

"Yesterday  little  indorsements  of  mine  went 
89 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

to  you  in  two  cases  of  postmasterships  sought 
for  widows  whose  husbands  have  fallen  in  the 
battles  of  this  war.  These  cases  occurring  on 
the  same  day  brought  me  to  reflect  more  atten 
tively  than  I  had  before  done  as  to  what  is 
fairly  due  from  us  here  in  the  dispensing  of 
patronage  to  the  men  who,  by  fighting  our  bat 
tles,  bear  the  chief  burden  of  saving  our  coun 
try.  My  conclusion  is  that,  other  claims  and 
qualifications  being  equal,  they  have  the  bet 
ter  right;  and  this  is  especially  applicable  to 
the  disabled  soldier  and  the  deceased  soldier's 
family." 

"Soon  after  the  opening  of  Congress,  the  Hon. 
Mr.  Shannon  made  the  customary  call,"  writes 
Carpenter,  the  artist,  "at  the  White  House.  In 
the  conversation  that  ensued  Mr.  Shannon  said, 
'Mr.  President,  I  met  an  old  friend  of  yours  in 
California  last  summer,  a  Mr.  Campbell,  who 
had  a  good  deal  to  say  about  your  Springfield 
life.'  'Ah!'  returned  Mr.  Lincoln,  'I  am  glad 
to  hear  of  him.  Campbell  used  to  be  a  dry 
fellow  in  those  days,'  he  continued.  'For  a  time 
he  was  Secretary  of  State.  One  day  during  the 
legislative  vacation  a  meek,  cadaverous-looking 
man,  with  a  white  neck-cloth,  introduced  himself 
to  him  at  his  office,  and,  stating  that  he  had 

90 


AT    THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

been  informed  that  Mr.  C.  had  the  letting  of  the 
Hall  of  Representatives,  he  wished  to  secure  it, 
if  possible,  for  a  course  of  lectures  he  desired  to 
deliver  in  Springfield.  "May  I  ask,"  said  the 
Secretary,  "what  is  to  be  the  subject  of  your 
lecture?"  "Certainly,"  was  the  reply,  with  a 
very  solemn  expression  of  countenance.  "The 
course  I  wish  to  deliver  is  on  the  second  coming 
of  our  Lord."  "It  is  of  no  use,"  said  C.;  "if  you 
will  take  my  advice,  you  will  not  waste  your 
time  in  this  city.  It  is  my  private  opinion,  if 
the  Lord  has  been  in  Springfield  once,  he  will 
never  come  the  second  time!" 

"One  evening  the  President  brought  a  couple 
of  friends  into  the  'state  dining-room*  to  see  my 
picture,"  relates  Carpenter.  "Something  was 
said,  in  the  conversation  that  ensued,  that  're 
minded'  him  of  the  following  circumstance: 

'Judge ,'  said  he,  'held  the  strongest  ideas 

of  rigid  government  and  close  construction  that 
I  ever  met.  It  was  said  of  him,  on  one  occasion, 
that  he  would  hang  a  man  for  blowing  his  nose 
in  the  street,  but  he  would  quash  the  indictment 
if  it  failed  to  specify  which  hand  he  blew  it  with ! ' ' 

Lord  Lyons,  the  British  minister  in  Washing 
ton,  once  presented  the  President  with  an  auto- 


LINCOLN'S   OWN    STORIES 

graph  letter  from  Queen  Victoria  announcing,  as 
is  the  custom  of  European  monarchs,  the  mar 
riage  of  the  Prince  of  Wales,  and  added  that 
whatever  response  the  President  would  make  he 
would  immediately  transmit.  Mr.  Lincoln  re 
sponded  by  shaking  the  marriage  announcement 
at  the  bachelor  minister  before  him,  saying, 
"Lyons,  go  thou  and  do  likewise." 

For  some  men  Lincoln  had  special  uses,  and  his 
relations  with  them  were  limited  to  that  narrow 
utility;  for  others  his  affinity  was  catholic.  To 
an  intimate  who  had  mistakenly  supposed  that 
he  placed  much  reliance  on  the  counsels  of 
David  Davis,  Judge  of  the  Circuit  Court,  he  ex 
plained  away  the  error  by  this  illustration. 
"They  had  side  judges  down  in  New  Hampshire, 
and  to  show  the  folly  of  the  system  one  who 
had  been  a  side  judge  for  twenty  years  said  the 
only  time  the  chief  judge  ever  consulted  him 
was  at  the  close  of  a  long  day's  session,  when  he 
turned  to  the  side  judge  and  whispered,  'Don't 
your  back  ache?"'  And  Davis  himself  relates 
that  Lincoln  never  consulted  him  but  once  or 
twice. 

Noah  Brooks  relates  that  when  he  had  been 
at  some  pains,  one  day,  to  show  the  President 

92 


AT    THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

how  a  California  politician  had  been  coerced  into 
telling  the  truth  without  knowing  it,  Lincoln 
said  it  reminded  him  of  a  black  barber  in  Illi 
nois,  notorious  for  lying,  who,  hearing  some  of 
his  customers  admiring  the  planet  Jupiter,  then 
shining  in  the  evening  sky,  said:  "Sho,  I've  seen 
that  star  afore.  I  seen  him  'way  down  in  Georgy." 
The  President  continued:  "Like  your  California 
friend,  he  told  the  truth,  but  thought  he  was 
lying." 

A  New-Yorker  at  the  White  House  said  to 
the  President  that  it  seemed  strange  that  the 
President  of  the  United  States  and  the  President 
of  the  Confederate  States  should  have  been  born 
in  the  same  State. 

"Oh,  I  don't  know  about  that,"  laughed  Mr. 
Lincoln.  "Those  Kentucky  people  will  tell  you 
that  they  raise  'most  anything  in  their  State, 
and  I  reckon  they're  mighty  near  right." 

There  was  very  little  social  life  in  the  White 
House  during  the  Lincoln  administration.  The 
President  gave  a  few  state  dinners  each  year, 
such  as  were  required  by  his  official  position,  held 
a  few  public  receptions  to  gratify  the  curiosity 
of  the  Washington  people  and  strangers  in  the 
city,  and  gave  one  ball,  which  excited  much  criti- 

93 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

cism  from  the  religious  press  and  from  unfriendly 
sources.  It  was  represented  as  a  heartless  ex 
hibition  of  frivolity  in  the  midst  of  dying  soldiers 
and  a  grief-stricken  country,  and  some  people 
even  went  so  far  as  to  declare  the  death  of  Willie 
Lincoln,  about  two  weeks  later,  to  be  a  judgment 
of  God  upon  the  President  and  Mrs.  Lincoln  for  in 
dulging  in  worldly  amusements.  These  thought 
less  writers  did  not  know  that  during  the  recep 
tion,  which  was  in  honor  of  the  diplomatic  corps, 
the  President  and  Mrs.  Lincoln  both  slipped  away 
from  their  guests  to  spend  a  moment  at  the  bed 
side  of  their  child,  who  was  so  ill  that  the  post 
ponement  of  the  entertainment  was  proposed, 
but  vetoed  by  the  President.  The  death  of  this 
lad  was  the  greatest  sorrow  that  ever  fell  upon 
the  President's  heart. 

The  great  public  receptions,  with  their  vast, 
rushing  multitudes  pouring  past  him  to  shake 
hands,  he  rather  enjoyed;  they  were  not  a  dis 
agreeable  task  to  him,  and  he  seemed  surprised 
when  people  commiserated  him  upon  them.  He 
would  shake  hands  with  thousands  of  people, 
seemingly  unconscious  of  what  he  was  doing, 
murmuring  some  monotonous  salutation  as  they 
went  by,  his  eye  dim,  his  thoughts  far  with 
drawn;  then  suddenly  he  would  see  some  familiar 

94 


AT    THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

face — his  memory  for  faces  was  very  good — and 
his  eye  would  brighten  and  his  whole  form  grow 
attentive;  he  would  greet  the  visitor  with  a 
hearty  grasp  and  a  ringing  word  and  dismiss 
him  with  a  cheery  laugh  that  filled  the  Blue 
Room  with  infectious  good-nature.  Many  people 
armed  themselves  with  an  appropriate  speech  to 
be  delivered  on  these  occasions,  but  unless  it 
was  compressed  into  the  smallest  possible  space 
it  never  was  uttered;  the  crowd  would  jostle  the 
peroration  out  of  shape.  If  it  were  brief  enough 
and  hit  the  President's  fancy,  it  generally  re 
ceived  a  swift  answer.  One  night  an  elderly 
gentleman  from  Buffalo  said,  "Up  our  way  we 
believe  in  God  and  Abraham  Lincoln,"  to 
which  the  President  replied,  shoving  him  along 
the  line,  "My  friend,  you  are  more  than  half 
right." 

He  had  a  rule  for  evading  difficulties  which 
was  expressed  in  a  homely  remark  to  Mr. 
Seward,  who  jokingly  remarked  at  a  Cabinet 
meeting  one  day: 

"Mr.  President,  I  hear  that  you  turned  out 
for  a  colored  woman  on  a  muddy  crossing  the 
other  day." 

"I  don't  remember,"  answered  Lincoln,  mu 
singly,  "but  I  think  it  very  likely,  for  I  have 

95 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

always  made  it  a  rule  that  if  people  won't  turn 
out  for  me  I  will  for  them.  If  I  didn't,  there 
would  be  a  collision." 

Robert  Dale  Owen,  the  spiritualist,  once  read 
the  President  a  long  manuscript  on  an  abstruse 
subject  with  which  that  rather  erratic  person 
loved  to  deal.  Lincoln  listened  patiently  until 
the  author  asked  for  his  opinion,  when  he  replied 
with  a  yawn: 

"Well,  for  those  who  like  that  sort  of  thing 
I  should  think  it  is  just  about  the  sort  of  thing 
they  would  like." 

Colonel  Lamon  in  his  Recollections  tells  this: 
A  certain  Washington  police  officer,  who  it  seems 
was  on  intimate  terms  with  the  President,  had 
accidentally  killed  a  rough  while  making  his 
arrest,  and,  though  it  was  two  o'clock  in  the 
morning,  repaired  at  once  to  the  White  House, 
and  requested  Lincoln  to  come  into  his  office. 
Mr.  Lincoln  heard  his  story,  and  observed  that 
he  had  only  done  his  duty.  "It  isn't  that," 
answered  the  officer;  "I  know  I  did  my  duty, 
but  I  felt  so  badly  over  the  affair  that  I  wanted 
to  talk  to  you  about  it."  "Well,"  answered  Lin 
coln,  "go  home  now  and  get  some  sleep,  but 
the  next  time  you  hit  a  man,  don't  hit  him  with 

96 


AT    THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

your  fist.    Hit  him  with  a  club  or  a  crowbar, 
or  something  that  won't  kill  him." 

When  he  came  to  New  York  early  in  the 
sixties  he  went  to  hear  Henry  Ward  Beecher, 
and  afterward  visited  Five  Points,  then  a  most 
notorious  slum.  He  was  called  upon  to  address 
the  children,  and  his  homely  and  kindly  talk  so 
pleased  them  that  when  he  stopped  they  cried, 
"Go  on,"  "Oh,  do  go  on."  As  he  was  leaving 
the  room  the  teacher  asked  him  his  name. 

"Abraham  Lincoln,  from  Illinois,"  he  answered 
simply,  and  added  nothing  more. 

After  his  great  triumph  in  New  York  he  spoke 
in  many  New  England  towns.  Probably_the 
greatest  tribute  to  his  powers  as  a  speaker  was 
paid  by  a  professor  at  Yale  College  who  ob 
served  with  much  admiration  the  fine  structure 
of  his  speech.  The  professor  took  notes  of  the 
speech,  and  held  it  up  before  his  class  the  next 
day  as  a  model  of  English  composition.  He  fol 
lowed  Lincoln  to  a  neighboring  city,  that  he 
might  again  sit  at  the  feet  of  this  master,  self- 
taught  in  the  mother-tongue. 

Toward   the  end  of   1862  the  Cabinet  crisis 
reached  a  climax,  and  a  Senate  committee  urged 
7  97 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

the  President  to  reconstruct  his  Cabinet.  How 
ever,  he  valued  Seward  and  Chase  too  highly  to 
part  with  them,  and  he  met  the  situation  in  his 
own  shrewd  way.  After  it  was  all  over,  he  said, 
referring  to  the  interview:  "While  they  seemed 
to  believe  in  my  honesty,  they  appeared  to  think 
that  when  I  had  in  me  any  good  purpose  or  in 
tention  Seward  contrived  to  suck  it  out  of  me 
unperceived." 

Without  going  into  details,  it  is  familiar  his 
tory  that  the  final  result  of  the  complaint  was 
that  both  Seward  and  Chase  resigned.  Thus 
armed,  Lincoln  was  in  a  position  to  satisfy  both 
wings  of  the  party.  "Now  I  can  ride,  for  I  have 
a  pumpkin  in  each  bag,"  he  shrewdly  expressed 
it.  Later  he  said  wisely,  in  summing  up  the  situ 
ation:  "If  I  had  yielded  to  that  storm  and  dis 
missed  Seward,  the  thing  would  all  have  slumped 
over  one  way,  and  we  should  have  been  left  with 
a  scanty  handful  of  supporters.  When  Chase 
gave  in  his  resignation,  I  saw  that  the  game  was 
in  my  hands,  and  I  put  it  through/' 

To  a  deputation  who  urged  that  his  Cabinet 
should  be  reconstructed  after  the  retirement  of 
Secretary  Cameron  the  President  told  this  story: 
"Gentlemen,  when  I  was  a  young  man  I  used  to 
know  very  well  one  Joe  Wilson,  who  built  him- 

98 


AT    THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

self  a  log  cabin  not  far  from  where  I  lived.  Joe 
was  very  fond  of  eggs  and  chickens,  and  he  took 
a  very  great  deal  of  pains  in  fitting  up  a  poultry- 
shed.  Having  at  length  got  together  a  choice 
lot  of  young  fowls — of  which  he  was  very  proud — 
he  began  to  be  much  annoyed  by  the  depreda 
tions  of  certain  little  black  and  white  spotted 
animals  which  it  is  not  necessary  to  name.  One 
night  Joe  was  awakened  by  an  unusual  cackling 
and  fluttering  among  his  chickens.  Getting  up, 
he  crept  out  to  see  what  was  going  on.  It  was 
a  bright  moonlight  night,  and  he  soon  caught 
sight  of  half  a  dozen  of  the  little  pests,  which, 
with  their  dam,  were  running  in  and  out  of  the 
shadow  of  the  shed.  Very  wrathy,  Joe  put  a 
double  charge  into  his  old  musket  and  thought  he 
would  'clean  out'  the  whole  tribe  at  one  shot. 
Somehow  he  only  killed  one,  and  the  balance 
scampered  off  across  the  field.  In  telling  the 
story  Joe  would  always  pause  here  and  hold  his 
nose.  'Why  didn't  you  follow  them  up  and  kill 
the  rest?'  inquired  his  neighbors.  'Blast  it/ 
said  Joe,  'it  was  eleven  weeks  before  I  got  over 
killin'  one.  If  you  want  any  more  skirmishing 
in  that  line  you  can  do  it  yourselves!'  " 

Once  a  friend   complained    to   the   President 
that  a  certain  Cabinet  officer  was  administering 

99 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STOR'IES 

his  office  with  unusual  energy,  in  the  hope  of 
securing  the  Presidential  nomination. 

"That  reminds  me,"  said  Mr.  Lincoln,  "that 
my  brother  and  I  were  once  plowing  a  field  with 
a  lazy  horse,  but  at  times  he  rushed  across  the 
field  so  fast  that  I  could  hardly  keep  up  with  him. 
At  last  I  found  an  enormous  chin-fly  on  him,  and 
knocked  it  off.  Now  I  am  not  going  to  make 
that  mistake  a  second  time.  If  the  Secretary 
has  a  chin-fly  on  him  I  am  not  going  to  knock 
it  ofF,  if  it  will  only  make  his  department  go." 

This  is  related  by  Gen.  James  Grant  Wilson: 
"Among  several  good  things,  the  President  told 
of  a  southern  Illinois  preacher  who,  in  the  course 
of  his  sermon,  asserted  that  the  Saviour  was  the 
only  perfect  man  who  had  ever  appeared  in  this 
world;  also  that  there  was  no  record,  in  the  Bible 
or  elsewhere,  of  any  perfect  woman  having  lived 
on  the  earth.  Whereupon  there  arose  in  the  rear 
of  the  church  a  persecuted-looking  personage 
who,  the  parson  having  stopped  speaking,  said, 
'I  know  a  perfect  woman,  and  I've  heard  of  her 
every  day  for  the  last  six  years/  'Who  was 
she?'  asked  the  minister.  'My  husband's  first 
wife/  replied  the  afflicted  female." 

"I  once  knew,"  said  Lincoln,  "a  sound  church 
man  by  the  name  of  Brown,  who  was  a  member 

100 


AT    THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

of  a  very  sober  and  pious  committee  having  in 
charge  the  erection  of  a  bridge  over  a  dangerous 
and  rapid  river.  Several  architects  failed,  and 
at  last  Brown  said  he  had  a  friend  named  Jones 
who  had  built  several  bridges  and  undoubtedly 
could  build  that  one.  So  Mr.  Jones  was  called 
in. 

"'Can  you  build  this  bridge?'  inquired  the 
committee. 

"  'Yes/  replied  Jones,  'or  any  other.  I  could 
build  a  bridge  to  the  infernal  regions,  if  neces 
sary/ 

"The  committee  were  shocked,  and  Brown  felt 
•called  upon  to  defend  his  friend.  'I  know  Jones 
so  well/  said  he,  'and  he  is  so  honest  a  man  and 
so  good  an  architect  that  if  he  states  soberly 
and  positively  that  he  can  build  a  bridge  to — 
to — why,  I  believe  it;  but  I  feel  bound  to  say 
that  I  have  my  doubts  about  the  abutment  on 
the  infernal  side/ 

"So/'  said  Mr.  Lincoln,  "when  politicians  told 
me  that  the  Northern  and  Southern  wings  of 
the  Democracy  could  be  harmonized,  why,  I 
believed  them,  of  course;  but  I  always  had  my 
doubts  about  the  'abutment'  on  the  other  side." 

James  Morgan  tells,  in  his  excellent  Life,  of 
Lincoln's  freedom  from  the  usual  official  vanity. 

101 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

He  rather  shrank  from  than  courted  the  official 
title  of  Mr.  President,  and  generally  referred  to 
his  office  as  "this  place,"  "since  I  have  been  in 
this  place,"  or,  "since  I  came  here."  Referring 
at  one  time  to  the  apartment  reserved  in  the 
Capitol  for  the  Chief  Magistrate,  he  called  it 
"the  room,  you  know,  that  they  call  the  Presi 
dent's  room."  Once  he  pleaded  with  some  old 
Illinois  friends  who  addressed  him  as  Mr.  Presi 
dent,  "Now  call  me  Lincoln,  and  Fll  promise 
not  to  tell  of  the  breach  of  etiquette." 

Another  story  told  by  Morgan  illustrates  his 
inherent  democracy.  He  dreamed  he  was  in  some 
great  assembly,  and  the  people  drew  back  to  let 
him  pass,  whereupon  he  heard  some  one  say,  "He 
is  a  common-looking  fellow/'  In  his  dream 
Lincoln  turned  to  the  man  and  said,  "Friend,  the 
Lord  prefers  common-looking  people;  that  is  the 
reason  why  He  made  so  many  of  them." 

His  receptions  he  called  his  "public-opinion 
baths."  He  said  he  came  out  of  them  with  a 
renewed  sense  of  his  official  obligations.  "No 
hours  of  my  day  are  better  employed  than  those 
which  bring  me  again  within  the  direct  contact 
and  the  atmosphere  of  the  average  of  our  whole 
people,"  he  said,  and  added  that  they  helped 

102 


AT   THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

"to  renew  in  me  a  clearer  and  more  vivid  image 
of  that  great  popular  assemblage  out  of  which  I 
sprang  and  to  which  I  must  return."  This  is 
pure  democracy,  and  certainly  a  patriotic  inter 
pretation  of  public  duty. 

Senator  Charles  Sumner  of  Massachusetts 
called  at  the  White  House  early  one  morning. 
He  was  told  that  the  President  was  down-stairs, 
that  he  could  go  right  down.  He  found  the  Presi 
dent  polishing  his  boots.  Somewhat  amazed, 
Senator  Sumner  said,  "Why,  Mr.  President,  do 
you  black  your  own  boots?"  With  a  vigorous 
rub  of  the  brush,  the  President  replied,  "Whose 
boots  did  you  think  I  blacked?" 

But  he  knew  how  to  be  correct  in  deportment 
when  he  deemed  that  occasion  required  it.  A  man 
who  was  present  once  when  Charles  Sumner  called, 
has  described  the  manner  in  which  Lincoln  re 
ceived  that  self-conscious  statesman.  He  dropped 
his  long  legs  from  the  arm  of  the  chair  in  which 
he  was  slouching  at  ease,  rose  and  saluted  with 
studied  dignity  his  imposing  caller,  who  carried 
a  cane  and  was  arrayed  in  a  brown  coat  and 
fancy  waistcoat,  checked  lavender  trousers,  and 
a  striking  pair  of  spats.  After  the  Senator  had 
gone  Lincoln  again  relaxed,  with  the  remark, 

103 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

"When  with  the  Romans  we  must  do  as  the 
Romans  do." 

War  maps  hung  on  the  walls  of  his  office,  and 
his  table  was  covered  so  deep  with  papers  that 
it  was  not  always  possible  for  him  to  find  room 
to  rest  his  hand  while  signing  his  name  to  a 
document.  "I  am  like  the  Patagonians,"  he 
said  with  a  laugh,  once,  as  he  hunted  for  a  place 
where  he  could  write.  "You  know  they  live  off 
oysters,  and  throw  the  shells  out  of  the  window. 
When  the  pile  of  shells  grows  so  high  as  to  shut 
in  the  window,  they  simply  move  and  build  a 
new  house." 

Some  gentlemen,  fresh  from  a  Western  tour, 
calling  at  the  White  House  to  see  President  Lin 
coln,  referred  to  a  body  of  water  in  Nebraska 
bearing  an  Indian  name  which  they  could  not 
recall,  but  which  signified  Weeping  Water.  In 
stantly  Mr.  Lincoln  replied,  "As  Laughing  Water, 
according  to  Mr.  Longfellow,  is  Minnehaha,  this 
must  be  Minneboohoo." 

A  friend  discovered  the  President  one  day 
counting  greenbacks.  "The  President  of  the 
United  States  has  a  multiplicity  of  duties  not 
specified  in  the  Constitution  or  the  laws,"  said 

104 


AT    THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

Mr.  Lincoln.  "This  is  one  of  them.  This  money 
belongs  to  a  negro  porter  in  the  Treasury  De 
partment  who  is  now  in  the  hospital  so  sick  that 
he  cannot  sign  his  name.  According  to  his  wish, 
I  am  putting  a  part  of  it  aside  in  an  envelop, 
labeled,  to  save  it  for  him." 

Abraham  Lincoln  once  received  a  letter  asking 
for  a  "sentiment"  and  his  autograph.  He  re 
plied:  "Dear  Madam, — When  you  ask  a  stranger 
for  that  which  is  of  interest  only  to  yourself,  al 
ways  inclose  a  stamp.  ABRAHAM  LINCOLN." 

He  laughed  at  Senator  Mason,  who,  on  account 
of  this  sectional  warfare,  wore  homespun  to  avoid 
buying  goods  of  Northern  manufacture.  Mr. 
Lincoln  said:  "To  carry  out  this  idea  he  ought 
to  go  barefoot.  If  that's  the  plan,  they  should 
begin  at  the  foundation  and  adopt  the  well-known 
'Georgia  costume'  of  a  shirt-collar  and  a  pair 
of  spurs." 

In  1864  five  six-footers,  accompanied  by  two 
representatives,  called  on  the  President  and  were 
introduced  to  him.  These  six-footers  seemed  to 
astonish  Lincoln,  who,  after  a  careful  survey, 
exclaimed,  "Are  they  all  from  your  State?" 

"All." 

105 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

"Why,  it  seems  to  me,"  said  the  President, 
glancing  at  the  short  Representatives,  "that  your 
State  always  sends  her  little  men  to  Congress." 

Lincoln  once  told  the  telegraph-operators  in 
the  War  Department  that  the  concise  phrase 
ology  of  the  official  despatches  reminded  him  of 
the  story  of  a  Scotch  girl  who,  on  her  way  to 
market  one  morning,  while  fording  a  stream, 
was  accosted  by  a  countryman  on  the  bank. 
"Good  morning,  my  lassie,"  said  he.  "How 
deep's  the  brook,  and  what's  the  price  of  eggs?" 
"Knee-deep  and  a  sixpence!"  answered  the  little 
maid  without  looking  up. 

"The  Wade  and  Davis  matter  troubles  me 
little,"  said  Lincoln  to  a  friend.  "Indeed,  I  feel 
a  good  deal  about  it  as  the  old  man  did  about 
his  cheese  when  his  very  smart  boy  found,  by 
the  aid  of  a  microscope,  that  it  was  full  of  mag 
gots.  'Oh,  father!'  exclaimed  the  boy,  'how  can 
you  eat  such  stuff?  Just  look  in  here  and  see 
'em  wriggle/  The  old  man  took  another  mouth 
ful,  and  putting  his  teeth  into  it,  replied  grimly, 
'Let  'em  wriggle.' ' 

From  a  reply  to  an  invitation  to  attend  a  festival 
in  honor  of  the  anniversary  of  Jefferson's  birthday: 

106 


AT   THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

"I  remember  once  being  much  amused  at 
seeing  two  partially  intoxicated  men  engaged  in 
a  fight  with  their  coats  on,  which  fight,  after  a 
long  and  harmless  contest,  resulted  in  each  having 
fought  himself  out  of  his  coat  and  into  that  of 
the  other.  If  the  two  leading  parties  of  this 
day  are  really  identical  with  the  two  of  the 
days  of  Jefferson  and  Adams,  they  have  per 
formed  the  same  feat  as  the  two  drunken 


men." 


Gen.  O.  O.  Howard  is  responsible  for  this: 
"In  the  first  speech  I  ever  saw  of  Mr.  Lincoln's 
he  said,  'Many  free  countries  have  lost  their 
liberties,  and  ours  may  lose  hers;  but  if  she  shall, 
be  it  my  proudest  boast  not  that  I  was  the  last 
to  desert,  but  that  I  never,  never  deserted  her/ 
That  was  valor." 

A  well-known  literary  man  was  praising  Lin 
coln  at  a  dinner  in  New  York.  "Lincoln,"  said 
he,  "could  not  stand  tedious  writing  in  others. 
He  once  condemned  for  its  tediousness  a  Greek 
history,  whereupon  a  diplomat  took  him  to  task. 
'The  author  of  that  history,  Mr.  President,'  he 
said,  'is  one  of  the  profoundest  scholars  of  the 
age.  Indeed,  it  may  be  doubted  whether  any 
man  of  our  generation  has  plunged  more  deeply 

107 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

in  the  sacred  fount  of  learning.'    'Yes,  or  come 
up  drier/  said  Lincoln." 

Lincoln  had  a  genius  for  terseness.  Never  a 
wasted  word  and  every  word  packed  with  mean 
ing.  Here  is  his  definition  of  wealth.  To  him  it 
was,  as  he  once  said,  "simply  a  superfluity  of 
things  we  don't  need." 

His  moral  honesty  was  like  unto  one  of  the 
prophets  of  old.  When  his  friends  urged  him 
not  to  make  his  famous  "house  divided  against 
itself"  speech,  he  said:  "Friends,  the  time  has 
come  when  these  sentiments  should  be  uttered, 
and  if  it  is  decreed  that  I  should  go  down  because 
of  this  speech,  then  let  me  go  down  linked  with 
the  truth." 

To  the  replies  of  his  critics  that  he  had  over 
thrown  his  chances  of  victory  and  had  ruined 
the  opportunities  of  his  party  he  said,  "If  I  had 
to  draw  a  pen  across  my  record  and  erase  my 
whole  life  from  sight,  and  I  had  one  poor  gift  or 
choice  left  as  to  what  I  should  save  from  the 
wreck,  I  should  choose  that  speech  and  leave  it 
to  the  world  unerased." 

Riding  at  one  time  through  a  Virginia  wood, 
he  made  the  following  observation  about  a  lux- 

108 


AT    THE   WHITE    HOUSE 

uriant  vine  which  wrapped  itself  about  a  tree: 
"Yes,  that  is  very  beautiful;  but  that  vine  is 
like  certain  habits  of  men;  it  decorates  the  ruin 
it  makes."  Speaking  of  the  difference  between 
character  and  reputation,  he  said:  "Character 
was  like  a  tree,  and  reputation  like  its  shadow. 
The  shadow  is  what  we  think  of  it;  the  tree  was 
the  real  thing." 

"Friday,  Feb.  19,  1864. — As  I  went  into  the 
Cabinet  meeting,  a  fair,  plump  lady  came  for 
ward  and  insisted  she  must  see  the  President 
only  for  a  moment — wanted  nothing.  I  made 
her  request  known  to  the  President,  who  directed 
that  she  be  admitted.  She  said  her  name  was 
Holmes,  that  she  belonged  in  Dubuque,  Iowa,  was 
passing  East,  and  came  from  Baltimore  expressly 
to  have  a  look  at  President  Lincoln.  'Well,  in 
the  matter  of  looking  at  one  another,'  said  the 
President,  laughing,  'I  have  altogether  the  ad 
vantage.'  " — Diary  of  Gideon  Welles. 

Here  is  an  incident  told  by  Arnold  that  illus 
trates  the  kindly  disposition  of  Lincoln.  One 
summer's  day,  walking  along  the  shaded  path 
leading  from  the  Executive  Mansion  to  the  War 
Office,  I  saw  the  tall,  awkward  form  of  the  Presi 
dent  seated  on  the  grass  under  a  tree.  A  wounded 

109 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

soldier,  seeking  back-pay  and  a  pension,  had  met 
the  President,  and,  having  recognized  him,  asked 
his  counsel.  Lincoln  sat  down,  examined  the 
papers  of  the  soldier,  and  told  him  what  to  do — 
sent  him  to  the  proper  bureau  with  a  note  which 
secured  prompt  attention. 

The  simplicity  and  democracy  of  the  lives  of 
the  President  and  Mrs.  Lincoln  may  be  well 
illustrated  by  the  following  anecdotes: 

They  lived  their  lives  simply,  and  their  ser 
vants  followed  the  free  and  easy  examples  set 
before  them.  One  of  them  once  interrupted  an 
important  conference  by  opening  the  President's 
door  and  saying,  "She  wants  you."  ''Yes,  yes," 
Lincoln  replied,  without  showing  the  least  sign 
of  annoyance.  But  as  the  President  did  not 
appear,  the  servant  again  broke  in,  and  with 
greater  emphasis  repeated,  "I  say,  she  wants 
you." 

Another  instance  indicating  their  freedom 
from  ritual  of  all  kinds  is  the  following.  A 
man  once  called  on  Sunday  morning  by  appoint 
ment,  and,  after  repeatedly  ringing  the  door-bell 
and  receiving  no  response,  entered  the*  White 
House  unannounced  and  walked  up-stairs,  looking 
vainly  for  a  servant,  until  he  finally  came  to  the 
door  of  the  President's  room,  at  which  he  knocked. 

no 


AT   THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

"Oh,"  exclaimed  Mr.  Lincoln,  "the  boys  are  all 
out  this  morning." 

Early  in  life  he  had  formed  the  habit  of  rising 
with  the  sun.  One  morning  at  six  o'clock  a 
passer-by  saw  him  at  the  White  House  gateway. 
"Good  morning,"  the  President  said.  "I  am 
looking  for  a  newsboy.  When  you  get  to  the 
corner  I  wish  you  would  send  one  this  way." 

A  telegram  from  Philadelphia  was  once  re 
ceived,  setting  forth  that  some  one  had  been 
arrested  there  for  obtaining  fifteen  hundred  dol 
lars  on  Mr.  Lincoln's  name. 

"What,"  said  Mr.  Lincoln,  "fifteen  hundred 
dollars  on  my  name!  I  have  given  no  one  au 
thority  for  such  a  draft,  and  if  I  had,"  he  added, 
half  humorously,  "it  is  surprising  that  any  man 
could  get  the  money." 

"Do  you  remember,  Mr.  President,  a  request 
from  a  stranger  a  few  days  ago  for  your  auto 
graph,  and  that  you  gave  it  to  him  on  a  half- 
sheet  of  note-paper?"  said  Mr.  Nicolay.  "The 
scoundrel  doubtless  forged  an  order  above  your 
signature  and  has  attempted  to  swindle  some 
body." 

"Oh,  that's  the  trick,  is  it?"  said  the  Presi 
dent. 

in 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

"What  shall  be  done  with  him?  Have  you 
any  orders  to  give?"  inquired  the  Secretary. 

"Well,"  said  the  President,  slowly,  "I  don't 
see  but  that  he  will  have  to  sit  on  the  blister 
bench." 

Some  women  called  upon  him  and  urged  him 
to  abolish  slavery  at  once.  This  course  of  ac 
tion  was  contrary  to  his  views  of  political  ex 
pediency,  and  when  the  speaker  proceeded  to 
tell  him  that  he  (Lincoln)  had  been  appointed 
minister  of  the  Lord  and  should  follow  the  ex 
ample  of  Deborah,  he  made  the  following 
reply,  "Madam,  have  you  finished?"  Having 
received  an  affirmative  reply,  he  said,  "I  have 
neither  time  nor  disposition  to  enter  into  argu 
ment  with  you,  and  would  end  this  discussion 
by  suggesting  for  your  consideration  the  ques 
tion  whether,  if  it  be  true  that  the  Lord  has  ap 
pointed  me  to  do  the  work  you  have  indicated, 
it  is  not  probable  He  would  have  communicated 
knowledge  of  that  fact  to  me  as  well  as  to  you." 

When,  in  1863,  Maryland  was  carried  by  the 
Emancipationists,  and  the  legislature  adopted  a 
resolution  creating  a  convention  that  should 
embody  a  law  providing  for  a  policy  of  emancipa 
tion,  and  the  convention  was  elected  by  a  major- 

112 


AT    THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

ity  of  thirteen,  there  was  great  jubilation  in 
Washington,  and  a  body  of  Marylanders  called 
on  the  President  to  congratulate  him  and  the 
country  upon  the  enlistment  of  Maryland  among 
the  free  States.  Lincoln  made  a  short  speech, 
and  later  on  said  in  private:  "I  would  rather 
have  Maryland  upon  that  issue  than  have  a 
State  twice  its  size  upon  the  Presidential  issue. 
It  cleans  up  a  piece  of  ground."  Any  one  who 
has  had  any  experience  with  cleaning  up  a  piece 
of  ground,  digging  up  the  roots  and  stumps  as 
Lincoln  had,  will  appreciate  the  simile. 

What  is  believed  to  be  a  new  story  of  President 
Lincoln  is  told  by  Adlai  E.  Stevenson: 

"Several  months  before  President  Lincoln  issued 
the  great  Proclamation  of  Emancipation  which 
gave  freedom  to  the  whole  race  of  negro  slaves 
in  America,  my  friend,  Senator  Henderson  of 
Missouri,  came  to  the  White  House  one  day 
and  found  Mr.  Lincoln  in  a  mood  of  deepest  de 
pression.  Finally  the  great  President  said  to  his 
caller  and  friend  that  the  most  constant  and 
acute  pressure  was  being  brought  upon  him  by 
the  leaders  of  the  radical  element  of  his  party 
to  free  the  slaves. 

"'Sumner  and  Stevens  and  Wilson  simply 
haunt  me,'  declared  Mr.  Lincoln,  'with  their  im- 

8  113 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

portunities  for  a  proclamation  of  emancipation. 
Wherever  I  go  and  whatever  way  I  turn,  they  are 
on  my  trail.  And  still,  in  my  heart,  I  have  the 
deep  conviction  that  the  hour  has  not  yet  come/ 

"Just  as  he  said  this  he  walked  to  the  window 
looking  out  upon  Pennsylvania  Avenue  and  stood 
there  in  silence,  his  tall  figure  silhouetted  against 
the  light  of  the  window-pane,  every  line  of  it  and 
of  his  gracious  face  expressive  of  unutterable 
sadness.  Suddenly  his  lips  began  to  twitch  into 
a  smile  and  his  somber  eyes  lighted  with  a  twinkle 
of  something  like  mirth. 

"'The  only  schooling  I  ever  had,  Henderson,' 
he  remarked,  'was  in  a  log  school-house  when 
reading-books  and  grammars  were  unknown. 
All  our  reading  was  done  from  the  Scriptures,  and 
we  stood  up  in  a  long  line  and  read  in  turn  from 
the  Bible.  Our  lesson  one  day  was  the  story  of 
the  faithful  Israelites  who  were  thrown  into  the 
fiery  furnace  and  delivered  by  the  hand  of  the 
Lord  without  so  much  as  the  smell  of  fire  upon 
their  garments.  It  fell  to  one  little  fellow  to 
read  the  verse  in  which  occurred,  for  the  first 
time  in  the  chapter,  the  names  of  Shadrach, 
Meshach,  and  Abed-nego.  Little  Bud  stumbled 
on  Shadrach,  floundered  on  Meshach,  and  went 
all  to  pieces  on  Abed-nego.  Instantly  the  hand 
of  the  master  dealt  him  a  cuff  on  the  side  of  the 

114 


AT    THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

head  and  left  him  wailing  and  blubbering  as  the 
next  boy  in  line  took  up  the  reading.  But  before 
the  girl  at  the  end  of  the  line  had  done  reading 
he  had  subsided  into  sniffles,  and  finally  became 
quiet.  His  blunder  and  disgrace  were  forgotten 
by  the  others  of  the  class  until  his  turn  was  ap 
proaching  to  read  again.  Then,  like  a  thunder 
clap  out  of  a  clear  sky,  he  set  up  a  wail  which  even 
alarmed  the  master,  who  with  rather  unusual 
gentleness  inquired: 

"'"What's  the  matter  now?" 

"'  Pointing  with  a  shaking  finger  at  the  verse 
which  a  few  moments  later  would  fall  to  him  to 
read,  Bud  managed  to  quaver  out  the  answer: 

"'"Look  there,  marster — there  comes  them 
same  damn  three  fellers  again." 

"  Then  his  whole  face  lighted  with  such  a  smile 
as  only  Lincoln  could  give,  and  he  beckoned 
Senator  Henderson  to  his  side,  silently  pointing 
his  long,  bony  finger  to  three  men  who  were  at 
that  moment  crossing  Pennsylvania  Avenue 
toward  the  door  of  the  White  House.  They  were 
Sumner,  Wilson,  and  Thaddeus  Stevens." 

Once  when  a  deputation  visited  him  and  urged 
emancipation  before  he  was  ready,  he  argued  that 
he  could  not  enforce  it,  and,  to  illustrate,  asked 
them: 

"5 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

"How  many  legs  will  a  sheep  have  if  you  call 
the  tail  a  leg?"  They  answered,  "Five."  "You 
are  mistaken/'  said  Lincoln,  "for  calling  a  tail 
a  leg  don't  make  it  so";  and  that  exhibited  the 
fallacy  of  their  position  more  than  twenty 
syllogisms. 

"I  would  save  the  Union,"  he  wrote  to  Horace 
Greeley.  "I  would  save  it  in  the  shortest  way 
under  the  Constitution.  If  there  be  those  who 
would  not  save  the  Union  unless  they  could  at 
the  same  time  save  slavery,  I  do  not  agree  with 
them.  If  there  be  those  who  would  not  save  the 
Union  unless  they  could,  at  the  same  time,  de 
stroy  slavery,  I  do  not  agree  with  them.  My 
paramount  object  in  this  struggle  is  to  save  the 
Union,  and  is  not  either  to  save  or  destroy 
slavery.  If  I  could  save  the  Union  without 
freeing  any  slave,  I  would  do  it;  and  if  I  could  do 
it  by  freeing  all  the  slaves,  I  would  do  it;  and  if 
I  could  save  it  by  freeing  some  and  leaving  others 
alone,  I  would  also  do  that.  What  I  do  about 
slavery  and  the  colored  race,  I  do  because  I  be 
lieve  it  helps  to  save  the  Union;  and  what  I  for 
bear,  I  forbear  because  I  do  not  believe  it  would 
help  to  save  the  Union.  I  shall  do  less  whenever 
I  believe  what  I  am  doing  hurts  the  cause,  and  I 
shall  do  more  whenever  I  believe  doing  more  will 

116 


AT    THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

help  the  cause.  I  shall  try  to  correct  errors  when 
shown  to  be  errors,  and  I  shall  adopt  new  views 
as  fast  as  they  shall  appear  to  be  true  views/' 

It  may  not  be  amiss,  in  a  collection  of  this 
character,  in  order  to  show  the  marvelous  fer 
tility  of  this  wonderful  genius,  to  include  an 
excerpt  from  his  second  inaugural  address.  This 
has  been  justly  placed  among  the  masterpieces 
of  the  world's  greatest  oratory.  It  has  been 
compared  most  favorably  with  the  loftiest 
portions  of  the  Old  Testament  and  properly 
classed  among  the  most  famous  of  all  the  written 
and  spoken  compositions  in  the  English  tongue. 
Like  all  of  Lincoln's  compositions,  it  had  great 
brevity,  but  much  pith  and  meat. 

"Fondly  do  we  hope,  fervently  do  we  pray, 
that  this  mighty  scourge  of  war  may  speedily 
pass  away.  Yet,  if  God  wills  that  it  continue 
until  all  the  wealth  piled  by  the  bondman's  two 
hundred  and  fifty  years  of  unrequited  toil  shall 
be  sunk,  and  until  every  drop  of  blood  drawn 
with  the  lash  shall  be  paid  by  another  drawn 
with  the  sword,  as  was  said  three  thousand  years 
ago,  so  still  it  must  be  said,  'The  judgments  of 
the  Lord  are  true  and  righteous  altogether.' 

"With  malice  toward  none,  with  charity  for 
aD,  with  firmness  in  the  right,  as  God  gives  us 

117 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

to  see  the  right,  let  us  strive  on  to  finish  the  work 
we  are  in;  to  bind  up  the  nation's  wounds;  to 
care  for  him  who  shall  have  borne  the  battle, 
and  for  his  widow  and  his  orphan — to  do  all 
which  may  achieve  and  cherish  a  just  and  lasting 
peace  among  ourselves,  and  with  all  nations." 

That  Lincoln's  philosophy  was  too  shrewd 
and  sane  for  him  to  countenance  the  effect  rising 
up  against  the  cause  is  proved  anew  by  the  fol 
lowing  story  from  the  Boston  Post.  The  Hon. 
Alexander  H.  Rice  once  paid  a  visit  to  President 
Lincoln  on  behalf  of  a  Boston  boy  who  had  been 
imprisoned  for  robbing  his  employer's  letters. 

After  reading  the  petition,  signed  by  many 
citizens  of  Boston,  the  President  stretched  him 
self  in  his  chair,  and  asked  Mr.  Rice  if  he  had 
met  a  man  going  down-stairs. 

"Yes,  Mr.  President,"  replied  Mr.  Rice. 

"His  errand,"  said  the  President,  "was  to  get 
a  man  pardoned  out  of  the  penitentiary;  and  now 
you  have  come  to  get  a  boy  out  of  jail." 

Then,  with  characteristic  humor,  Mr.  Lincoln 
continued:  "I'll  tell  you  what  it  is,  we  must 
abolish  these  courts,  or  they  will  be  the  death  of 
us.  I  thought  it  bad  enough  that  they  put  so 
many  men  in  the  penitentiary  for  me  to  get  out; 
but  if  they  have  now  begun  on  the  boys  and  the 

118 


AT   THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

jails,  and  have  roped  you  into  the  delivery,  let's 
after  them! 

"They  deserve  the  worst  fate,"  he  went  on, 
"because,  according  to  the  evidence  that  comes 
to  me,  they  pick  out  the  very  best  men  and  send 
them  to  the  penitentiary;  and  this  present  peti 
tion  shows  they  are  playing  the  same  game  on 
the  boys  and  sending  them  all  to  jail. 

"The  man  that  you  met  on  the  stairs  affirmed 
that  his  friend  in  the  penitentiary  is  a  most  ex 
emplary  citizen,  and  Massachusetts  must  be  a 
happy  State  if  her  boys  out  of  jail  are  as  virtuous 
as  this  one  appears  to  be  who  is  in. 

"Yes,  down  with  the  courts  and  deliverance 
to  their  victims,  and  then  we  can  have  some 
peace!" 

This  entry  appears  in  Welles's  Diary  under 
date  of  May  26,  1863: 

"There  was  a  sharp  controversy  between  Chase 
and  Blair  on  the  subject  of  the  fugitive-slave 
law,  as  attempted  to  be  executed  on  one  Hall 
here,  in  the  district.  Both  were  earnest:  Blair 
for  executing  the  law,  Chase  for  permitting  the 
man  to  enter  the  service  of  the  Unites  States 
instead  of  being  remanded  into  slavery.  The 
President  said  that  this  was  one  of  the  questions 
that  always  embarrassed  him.  It  reminded  him 

119 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

of  a  man  in  Illinois  who  was  in  debt  and  terribly 
annoyed  by  a  pressing  creditor,  until  finally  the 
debtor  assumed  to  be  crazy  whenever  the  cred 
itor  broached  the  subject.  'I,'  said  the  Presi 
dent,  'have  on  more  than  one  occasion  in  this 
room,  when  beset  by  extremists  on  this  ques 
tion,  been  compelled  to  appear  to  be  very 
mad.  I  think,'  he  continued,  'none  of  you 
will  ever  dispose  of  this  subject  without  getting 
mad.'" 

There  was  something  more  than  humor  in 
this — unless  wisdom  itself  is  to  be  regarded  as  a 
department  of  humor.  Probably  Lincoln  in 
tended  to  use  the  word  "mad"  here  in  both  its 
dictionary  sense — as  meaning  insane — and  the 
American  colloquial  sense — as  meaning  angry. 
Slavery  was  legal,  and  the  return  of  fugitive 
slaves  was  called  for  under  a  decision  of  the 
Supreme  Court.  It  took  a  certain  amount  of 
frenzy,  joined  with  much  righteous  wrath,  to 
cut  the  knot.  If  the  American  nation,  typified 
in  the  great  war  President,  had  not  got  "mad'* 
in  both  ways,  slavery  would  certainly  not  have 
been  done  away  with  when  it  was. 

The  Hon.  Hugh  McCulloch,  Secretary  of  the 
Treasury  in  Lincoln's  second  term,  was  once  an 
nounced  with  a  delegation  of  New  York  bankers. 

120 


AT    THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

As  the  party  filed  into  the  room  he  preceded 
them,  and  said  to  the  President,  in  a  low  voice: 

"These  gentlemen  from  New  York  have  come 
on  to  see  the  Secretary  of  the  Treasury  about 
our  new  loan.  As  bankers  they  are  obliged  to 
hold  our  national  securities.  I  can  vouch  for 
their  patriotism  and  loyalty,  for,  as  the  good 
Book  says,  'Where  the  treasure  is,  there  will 
the  heart  be  also.'  " 

To  which  Mr.  Lincoln  quickly  replied:  "There 
is  another  text,  Mr.  McCulloch,  I  remember, 
that  might  equally  apply:  ' Where  the  carcass  is, 
there  will  the  eagles  be  gathered  together.' ' 

When  Attorney  -  General  Bates  resigned  in 
1864,  after  the  resignation  of  Postmaster-General 
Blair  in  that  year,  the  Cabinet  was  left  without 
a  Southern  member.  A  few  days  before  the 
meeting  of  the  Supreme  Court,  which  then  met 
in  December,  Mr.  Lincoln  sent  for  Titian  G. 
Coffey,  and  said:  "My  Cabinet  has  shrunk  up 
North,  and  I  must  find  a  Southern  man.  I  sup 
pose  if  the  twelve  apostles  were  to  be  chosen 
nowadays,  the  shrieks  of  locality  would  have  to 
be  heeded." 

Montgomery  Blair  was  not  popular  with  the 
Union  people  of  the  North.  The  public  distrust 

121 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

is  strikingly  illustrated  by  the  following  anecdote 
from  the  reminiscences  of  Henry  Ward  Beecher: 
'* There  was  some  talk,  early  in  1864,  of  a  sort 
of  compromise  with  the  South.  Blair  told  the 
President  he  was  satisfied  that,  if  he  could  be 
put  in  communication  with  some  of  the  leading 
men  of  the  South  in  some  way  or  other,  some 
benefit  would  accrue.  Lincoln  had  sent  a  dele 
gation  to  meet  Alexander  H.  Stephens,  and  that 
was  all  the  North  knew.  We  were  all  very  much 
excited  over  that.  The  war  lasted  so  long,  and  I 
was  afraid  Lincoln  would  be  so  anxious  for  peace, 
and  I  was  afraid  he  would  accept  something  that 
would  be  of  advantage  to  the  South  so  i  went  to 
Washington  and  called  upon  him.  'Mr.  Lincoln, 
I  come  to  you  to  know  whether  the  public  in 
terest  will  permit  you  to  explain  to  me  what  this 
Southern  commission  means?  I  am  in  an  em 
barrassing  position  as  editor  and  do  not  want 
to  step  in  the  dark.'  Well,  he  listened  very  pa 
tiently,  and  looked  up  to  the  ceiling  for  a  few 
moments,  and  said,  'Well,  I  am  almost  of  a 
mind  to  show  you  all  the  documents.' 

'Well,  Mr.  Lincoln,  I  should  like  to  see  them 
if  it  is  proper.'  He  went  to  his  little  secretary 
and  came  out  and  handed  me  a  little  card  as 
long  as  my  finger  and  an  inch  wide,  and  on  that 
was  written: 

122 


AT    THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

"  'You  will  pass  the  bearer  through  the  lines* 
(or  something  to  that  effect). 

"  'A.  LINCOLN.' 

"  *  There,'  he  said,  'is  all  there  is  of  it.  Now, 
Blair  thinks  something  can  be  done,  but  I  don't; 
but  I  have  no  objection  to  have  him  try  his  hand. 
He  has  no  authority  whatever  but  to  go  and  see 
what  he  can  do.' ' 

An  editorial  in  the  New  York  Tribune,  op 
posing  Lincoln's  renomination,  is  said  to  have 
called  out  from  him  the  following  story: 

"  A  traveler  on  the  frontier  found  himself  out 
of  his  reckoning  one  night  in  a  most  inhospitable 
region.  A  terrific  thunder-storm  came  up  to  add 
to  his  trouble.  He  floundered  along  until  his 
horse  at  length  gave  out.  The  lightning  afforded 
him  the  only  clue  to  his  way,  but  the  peals  of 
thunder  were  frightful.  One  bolt,  which  seemed 
to  crash  the  earth  beneath  him,  brought  him  to 
his  knees.  By  no  means  a  praying  man,  his 
petition  was  short  and  to  the  point:  'O  Lord, 
if  it  is  all  the  same  to  you,  give  us  a  little  more 
light  and  a  little  less  noise!9' 

When  the  time  came  along  in  the  spring  of 
1864  for  nominations  to  be  made  for  the  Presi 
dential  office  by  the  Republican  party,  Fremont 
was  prominently  mentioned  by  a  few  of  the  mal- 

123 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

contents,  and  vociferousness  gave  color  to  a  sup 
port  that  subsequent  events  proved  he  did  not 
have.  John  T.  Morse,  Jr.,  in  his  Life  of  Abraham 
Lincoln,  tells  the  following  story: 

"At  Cleveland  on  the  appointed  day  the  'mass 
convention'  assembled,  only  the  mass  was  want 
ing.  It  nominated  Fremont  for  the  Presidency 
and  Gen.  John  Cochrane  for  the  Vice-Presidency; 
and  thus  again  the  Constitution  was  ignored  by 
these  malcontents,  for  both  these  gentlemen  were 
citizens  of  New  York,  and  therefore  the  im 
portant  delegation  from  that  State  could  law 
fully  vote  for  only  one  of  them.  Really  the  best 
result  which  the  convention  achieved  was  that 
it  called  forth  a  bit  of  wit  from  the  President. 
Some  one  remarked  to  him  that,  instead  of  the 
expected  thousands,  only  about  four  hundred 
persons  had  assembled.  He  turned  to  the  Bible 
which,  say  Nicolay  and  Hay,  'commonly  lay  on 
his  desk,'  and  read  the  verse:  'And  every  one 
that  was  in  distress,  and  every  one  that  was  in 
debt,  and  every  one  that  was  discontented,  gath 
ered  themselves  unto  him;  and  he  became  a  cap 
tain  over  them;  and  there  were  with  him  about 
four  hundred  men.' ' 

"There  is  but  one  contingency  that  can  cause 
your  defeat  for  a  second  term,"  one  of  Lincoln's 

124 


AT    THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

friends  said  to  him  in  1863,  "and  that  is  Grant's 
capture  of  Richmond  and  his  nomination  as  an 
opposing  candidate." 

"Well,"  replied  Mr.  Lincoln,  shrewdly,  "I  feel 
very  much  about  that  as  the  man  felt  who  said 
he  didn't  want  to  die  particularly,  but  if  he  had 
got  to  die,  that  was  precisely  the  disease  he  would 
like  to  die  of." 

Colonel  McClure,  the  Pennsylvania  journalist, 
tells  this  regarding  his  attitude  toward  the  can 
didacy  of  Mr.  Chase  for  the  Presidency: 

"By  the  way,"  said  Mr.  Lincoln,  "how  would 
it  do  if  I  were  to  decline  Chase?" 

The  Colonel  inquired  how  it  could  be  done. 
'  "Well,"  replied  Lincoln,  "I  don't  know  exactly 
how  it  might  be  done,  but  that  reminds  me  of  a 
story  of  two  Democratic  candidates  for  senator 
in  'Egypt,'  Illinois,  in  its  early  political  times. 
That  section  of  Illinois  was  almost  solidly 
Democratic,  as  you  know,  and  nobody  but  Dem 
ocrats  were  candidates  for  office.  Two  Demo 
cratic  candidates  for  senator  met  each  other 
in  joint  debate,  from  day  to  day,  and  gradually 
became  more  and  more  exasperated  at  each 
other,  until  their  discussions  were  simply  dis 
graceful  wrangles,  and  they  both  became  ashamed 
of  them.  They  finally  agreed  that  either  should 

125 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

say  anything  he  pleased  about  the  other,  and  it 
should  not  be  resented  as  an  offense;  and  from 
that  time  on  the  campaign  progressed  without 
any  special  display  of  ill-temper.  On  election 
night  the  two  candidates,  who  lived  in  the  same 
town,  were  receiving  their  returns  together;  and 
the  contest  was  uncomfortably  close.  A  distant 
precinct  in  which  one  of  the  candidates  confi 
dently  expected  a  large  majority  was  finally 
reported  with  a  majority  against  him.  The 
disappointed  candidate  expressed  a  great  sur 
prise,  to  which  the  other  candidate  answered 
that  he  should  not  be  surprised,  as  he  had 
taken  the  liberty  of  declining  him  in  that  dis 
trict,  the  evening  before  the  election.  He  re 
minded  the  defeated  candidate  that  he  had 
agreed  that  either  was  free  to  say  anything  about 
the  other,  without  offense;  and  added  that,  under 
that  authority,  he  had  gone  up  into  that  district 
and  taken  the  liberty  of  saying  that  his  opponent 
had  retired  from  the  contest;  and  therefore  the 
vote  of  the  district  was  changed,  and  the  de 
clined  candidate  was  thus  defeated. 

"I  think,"  concluded  Lincoln,  with  one  of  his 
hearty  laughs,  "I  had  better  decline  Chase." 

About  a  fortnight  before  the  convention  in 
1864  Colonel  McClure,  to  relieve  Lincoln's  anx- 

126 


AT   THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

iety,  showed  him  that  a  majority  of  the  delegates 
were  for  him: 

"'Well,  McClure,'  he  replied,  'what  you  say 
seems  unanswerable,  but  I  don't  quite  forget 
that  I  was  nominated  for  President  in  a  conven 
tion  that  was  two-thirds  for  the  other  fellow/ 

"The  convention  came  on;  he  was  unanimously 
renominated.  A  short  time  after  the  convention, 
I  returned  to  Washington.  When  I  called  to  see 
the  President,  and  was  shown  in,  I  saw  at  once 
a  twinkle  in  his  eye,  and  as  I  approached  him 
he  said,  'Colonel,  do  you  remember  that  you 
told  me,  when  here  before,  that  everybody  about 
Congress  seemed  to  be  against  me?'  I  replied 
that  I  did.  He  said  that  that  situation  reminded 
him  of  two  Irishmen  who  came  to  America  and 
started  out  through  the  country  on  foot  to  secure 
work.  They  came  to  some  woods,  and  as  they 
passed  along  they  heard  a  strange  noise.  They 
did  not  know  what  it  was.  So  they  hunted  about, 
but  could  find  nothing.  Finally,  one  said  to  the 
other,  'Pat!  Pat!  Let's  go  on;  this  thing  is 
nothing  but  a  damned  noise.'  Lincoln  said  that 
the  opposition  to  him  was  nothing  but  a  noise/* 

He  displayed  no  spirit  of  malice  toward  those 
who  opposed  his  re-election.  "I  am  in  favor  of 
short  statutes  of  limitations  in  politics." 

127 


LINCOLN'S   OWN    STORIES 

A  caller  upon  the  President  on  New  Year's 
Day,  1864  said: 

"I  hope,  Mr.  President,  one  year  from  to-day 
I  may  have  the  pleasure  of  congratulating  you 
on  three  events  which  now  seem  probable." 

"What  are  they?"  inquired  he. 

"First,  that  the  Rebellion  may  be  entirely 
crushed;  second,  that  the  constitutional  amend 
ment  abolishing  and  prohibiting  slavery  may 
have  been  adopted;  third,  and  that  Abraham 
Lincoln  may  have  been  elected  President." 

*WI  think/*  replied  he,  with  a  smile,  "I  would 
be  glad  to  accept  the  first  two  as  a  compromise." 

When  he  heard  that  a  general  who  was  support 
ing  McClellan  had  been  relieved  of  his  command 
the  President  countermanded  the  order,  saying, 
**  Supporting  General  McClellan  for  the  Presidency 
is  noViolation  of  army  regulations,  and  as  a  ques 
tion  of  taste  in  choosing  between  him  and  me — 
well,  I'm  the  longest,  but  he's  better-looking." 

Upon  being  congratulated  on  his  renomination, 
he  said,  "I  do  not  allow  myself  to  suppose  that 
either  the  Convention  or  the  League  has  con 
cluded  that  I  am  either  the  greatest  or  the  best 
man  in  America,  but  rather  they  have  concluded 
it  is  not  best  to  swap  horses  while  crossing  the 

128 


AT   THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

river,  and  have  further  concluded  that  I  am  not 
so  poor  a  horse  that  they  might  not  make  a  botch 
of  it  in  trying  to  swap."  Thus  arose  a  maxim 
that  has  since  become  a  part  of  the  common 
speech. 

After  a  week  at  the  Democratic  Convention  of 
1864  a  gentleman  from  New  York  called  upon 
the  President,  in  company  with  the  Assistant 
Secretary  of  War,  Mr.  Dana.  In  course  of  con 
versation  the  gentleman  said,  "What  do  you 
think,  Mr.  President,  is  the  reason  General  Mc- 
Clellan  does  not  reply  to  the  letter  from  the  Chi 
cago  Convention?"  "Oh!"  replied  Mr.  Lincoln, 
with  a  characteristic  twinkle  of  his  eye,  "he 
is  intrenching!" 

Another  gentle  and  sympathetic  speech  is  the 
one  he  made  as  he  was  leaving  the  War  Depart 
ment  at  midnight  of  November  10,  1864,  on  his 
re-election: 

"So  long  as  I  have  been  here  I  have  not  will 
ingly  planted  a  thorn  in  any  man's  bosom. 
While  I  am  deeply  sensible  of  the  high  compli 
ment  of  re-election,  and  duly  grateful,  as  I  trust, 
to  Almighty  God  for  having  directed  my  country 
men  to  a  right  conclusion,  as  I  think  for  their 
own  good,  it  adds  nothing  to  my  satisfaction 
9  129 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

that  any  other  man  may  be  disappointed  or 
pained  by  the  result.  May  I  ask  those  who  have 
not  differed  from  me  to  join  with  me  in  this 
same  spirit  toward  those  that  have?" 

Mr.  Lincoln  was  fond  of  riding  on  horseback 
in  the  early  evening  to  the  Soldiers'  Home. 
One  night,  during  the  latter  part  of  1863,  he 
rode  out  with  an  orderly.  When  part  way  he 
sent  the  orderly  back  for  something  which  he  had 
left  at  the  White  House  and  rode  on  alone. 
After  dusk  he  galloped  up  to  the  Home  stables, 
and  the  hostler  noticed  that  he  was  without 
his  hat.  Mr.  Lincoln,  answering  the  hostler's 
question,  said,  "Run  back  a  few  hundred  yards 
and  pick  it  up."  The  man  had  heard  a  shot, 
but  thought  little  of  it  till  Mr.  Lincoln  came 
galloping  in.  He  found  the  hat  and  brought  it 
to  the  President,  who  was  still  waiting  at  the 
stable.  There  was  a  bullet-hole  near  the  top. 
Mr.  Lincoln  made  the  man  promise  not  to  speak 
of  it.  "It  was  probably  an  accident,  and  might 
worry  my  family."  And  he  went  to  the  Soldiers' 
Home  as  usual,  but  probably  never  again  alone. 
A  man  had  really  undertaken  to  shoot  him. 

You  see  in  this  incident,  and  in  a  great  many 
others  that  can  be  recalled,  the  simple,  straight 
forward  courage  of  the  man.  It  never  failed  him. 

130 


AT    THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

The  President's  letters  and  telegrams  to  his 
wife  when  she  and  Tad  were  absent  from  Wash 
ington  were  almost  always  laden  with  some  piece 
of  information  for  Tad's  special  benefit.  In  one 
such  communication  he  noted  that  Nanny  was 
found  resting  herself  and  chewing  her  little  cud 
on  the  middle  of  Tad's  bed,  and  again  he  sent 
this  message  by  telegraph,  "Tell  Tad  the  goats 
and  father  are  very  well,  especially  the  goats." 
Perhaps  the  strangest  document  in  all  the  vol 
umes  of  the  complete  works  of  Abraham  Lincoln 
is  a  telegram  in  reference  to  Tad,  and  sent  to 
his  wife:  "Think  you  had  better  put  Tad's 
pistol  away.  I  had  an  ugly  dream  about  him. 
A.  L." 

A  few  days  before  the  President's  death  Sec 
retary  Stanton  tendered  his  resignation  of  the 
War  Department.  He  accompanied  the  act  with 
a  most  heartfelt  tribute  to  Mr.  Lincoln's  constant 
friendship  and  faithful  devotion  to  the  country, 
saying,  also,  that  he,  as  Secretary,  had  accepted 
the  position  to  hold  it  only  until  the  war  should 
end,  and  now  he  felt  his  work  was  done,  and  his 
duty  was  to  resign.  Mr.  Lincoln  was  greatly 
moved  by  the  Secretary's  words,  and,  tearing  in 
pieces  the  paper  containing  the  resignation  and 
throwing  his  arms  about  the  Secretary,  he  said, 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

"Stanton,  you  have  been  a  good  friend  and  a 
faithful  public  servant,  and  it  is  not  for  you  to 
say  when  you  will  no  longer  be  needed  here." 
Several  friends  of  both  parties  were  present  on 
the  occasion,  and  there  was  not  a  dry  eye  that 
witnessed  the  scene. 

"The  last  time  I  saw  Mr.  Lincoln  to  speak 
with  him,"  said  Mr.  Dana,  "was  in  the  afternoon 
of  the  day  of  his  murder.  I  had  received  a  re 
port  from  the  provost-marshal  of  Portland, 
Maine,  saying  that  Jacob  Thompson  [a  Confed 
erate  [agent]  was  to  be  in  that  town  that  night 
for  the  purpose  of  taking  the  steamer  for  Liver 
pool,  and  what  orders  had  the  Department  to 
give?  I  carried  the  telegram  to  Mr.  Stanton. 
He  said  promptly,  'Arrest  him';  but  as  I  was 
leaving  his  room  he  called  me  back,  adding, 
'You  had  better  take  it  over  to  the  President/ 
It  was  now  between  four  and  five  o'clock  in 
the  afternoon,  and  business  at  the  White 
House  was  completed  for  the  day.  I  found 
Mr.  Lincoln  with  his  coat  off,  in  a  closet  at 
tached  to  his  office,  washing  his  hands.  'Hello, 
Dana,'  said  he,  as  I  opened  the  door,  'what  is 
it  now?'  'Well,  sir,'  I  said,  'here  is  the  provost- 
marshal  of  Portland,  who  reports  that  Jacob 
Thompson  is  to  be  in  that  town  to-night,  and 

132 


AT    THE    WHITE    HOUSE 

inquires  what  orders  we  have  to  give.'  'What 
does  Stanton  say?'  he  asked.  'Arrest  him,'  I 
replied.  'Well/  he  continued,  drawling  his 
words,  'I  rather  guess  not.  When  you  have  an 
elephant  by  the  hind  foot,  and  he  wants  to  run 
away,  better  let  him  run.' ' 

When  the  Civil  War  was  practically  over  Mr. 
Lincoln  responded  at  once  by  an  improvement 
in  health  and  spirits,  but  he  did  not  want  to  go 
to  the  theater  on  that  fatal  night,  and  not  from 
any  presentiment  of  evil.  The  play  was  "Our 
American  Cousin,"  and  he  had  seen  it  once. 
It  was  funny  enough,  and  Mr.  Lincoln  loved 
funny  things,  but  not  twice  in  the  same  place, 
even  for  company's  sake.  He  tried  to  get  out 
of  going,  but  Mrs.  Lincoln  would  not  permit  it. 
She  had  had  troubles  of  her  own  with  that  thea 
ter  party  from  outside — General  and  Mrs.  Grant 
having  been  called  away  at  the  last  minute — 
and  she  did  not  propose  to  have  her  own  husband 
desert  her.  She  insisted  on  his  going. 

"All  right,"  he  said,  in  his  meek,  submissive 
way,  when  he  found  resistance  was  useless,  "all 
right,  Mary,  I'll  go;  but  if  I  don't  go  down  to 
history  as  the  martyr  President  I  miss  my  guess." 

He  didn't  miss  his  guess,  but  his  little  joke 
became  a  world  tragedy. 


PART  V 
AT  THE   FRONT 


AT  THE    FRONT 

PRESIDENT  LINCOLN  once  said  to  a  regi- 
1  ment  which  he  was  reviewing:  "I  happen 
temporarily  to  occupy  this  big  White  House.  I 
am  a  living  witness  that  any  one  of  your 
children  may  look  to  come  here  as  my  father's 
child  has.  It  is  in  order  that  each  one  of  you 
may  have  through  this  free  government  which 
we  have  enjoyed  an  open  field  and  a  fair 
chance  .  .  .  that  the  struggle  should  be  main- 
tained,  that  we  may  not  lose  our  birthright." 

General  Horace  Porter  is  the  authority  for 
this  story: 

There  was  an  officer  cleaning  his  sword  at  the 
camp-fire  when  the  President  was  visiting  the 
camp.  Mr.  Lincoln  came  up,  looked  at  it, 
took  it  in  his  hand,  and  said:  "That  is  a  for 
midable  weapon,  but  it  don't  look  half  as  dan 
gerous  to  me  as  once  did  a  Kentucky  bowie-knife. 
One  night  I  passed  through  the  outskirts  of  Louis- 

137 


LINCOLN'S   OWN   STORIES 

ville,  when  suddenly  a  man  sprang  from  a  dark 
alley  and  drew  out  a  bowie-knife.  It  looked 
three  times  as  long  as  that  sword,  though  I  don't 
suppose  it  really  was.  He  flourished  it  in  front 
of  me.  It  glistened  in  the  moonlight,  and  for 
several  seconds  he  seemed  to  try  to  see  how  near 
he  could  come  to  cutting  off  my  nose  without 
doing  it.  Finally  he  said,  'Can  you  lend  me 
five  dollars  on  that?*  I  never  reached  in  my 
pockets  for  money  so  quick  in  the  whole 
course  of  my  life.  Handing  him  a  bill,  I  said: 
'There's  ten  dollars,  neighbor.  Now  put  up 
your  scythe/'1 

Speaking  to  General  Butler  about  the  his 
torical  fact  that  every  place  that  General  Grant 
had  ever  taken  had  been  held,  never  yielded  up, 
Mr.  Lincoln  said,  "When  General  Grant  once 
gets  possessed  of  a  place  he  seems  to  hang  on  to 
it  as  if  he  had  inherited  it." 

After  the  colored  troops  had  been  successful 
in  making  an  assault,  Lincoln  once  remarked: 
"I  am  glad  the  black  boys  have  done  well.  I 
must  go  out  and  see  them."  He  rode  out  with 
General  Grant  and  staff,  and  the  word  was  passed 
along  the  colored  troops  that  the  President  was 
coming;  then  the  cry  arose  everywhere,  "That's 

138 


AT    THE    FRONT 

Massa  Linkum,"  and  "Ole  Fader  Abraham  is  a- 
comin',"  and  they  shouted,  cheered,  laughed, 
got  down  on  their  knees  and  prayed,  fondled  his 
horse,  and  some  rushed  off  to  tell  their  comrades 
that  they  had  even  kissed  the  hem  of  his  gar 
ment.  Mr.  Lincoln  was  very  much  affected;  he 
had  his  hat  off,  the  tears  were  in  his  eyes,  and 
his  voice  was  so  choked  with  emotion  that  he 
could  scarcely  respond  to  the  salutations.  It 
was  a  memorable  sight  to  see  the  liberated  paying 
their  homage  to  the  Liberator.  He  remarked 
on  the  way  back  to  the  camp:  "When  we  were 
enlisting  the  colored  troops  there  was  great  oppo 
sition  to  it,  but  I  said  to  some  of  my  critics  one 
day,  'Well,  as  long  as  we  are  trying  to  send  every 
able-bodied  man  to  the  front  to  save  this  coun 
try,  I  guess  we  had  all  better  be  a  little  color 
blind.  I  can  express  my  satisfaction  with  what 
they  have  accomplished  down  here  something 
as  an  old-time  abolitionist  did  upon  another 
occasion  in  Illinois.  He  went  to  Chicago,  and 
his  friends  took  him  to  see  Forrest  play  Othello. 
He  didn't  know  it  was  a  white  man  blacked  up 
for  the  purpose,  and  after  the  play  was  over  said, 
'Well,  all  sectional  prejudice  aside,  and  making 
due  allowance  for  my  partiality  for  the  race, 
darn  me  if  I  don't  think  the  nigger  held  his  own 
with  any  on  'em/  " 

139 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

Meeting  General  Sheridan  for  the  first  time, 
he  said,  "General  Sheridan,  when  this  peculiar 
war  began  I  thought  a  cavalryman  should  be 
at  least  six  feet  four  inches  high."  But  still  hold 
ing  Sheridan's  hand  in  his  earnest  grasp  and 
looking  down  on  the  little  General,  he  added, 
"I  have  changed  my  mind — five  feet  four  will 
do  in  a  pinch."  Sheridan  measured  five  feet 
four  and  a  half. 

One  day  the  President  and  the  Secretary  of 
State,  accompanied  by  a  young  staff-officer,  at 
tended  a  review  near  Arlington,  on  the  opposite 
side  of  the  Potomac.  An  ambulance  drawn  by 
four  mules  was  provided.  When  the  party  ar 
rived  on  the  Virginia  side  of  the  river,  where  the 
roads  were  rough  and  badly  cut  by  artillery  and 
army  trains,  the  driver  had  so  much  difficulty 
with  the  team  in  his  efforts  to  prevent  the  wheels 
from  dropping  into  the  ruts  that  he  lost  his 
temper  and  began  to  swear;  the  worse  the  road 
became,  the  greater  became  his  profanity.  At 
last  the  President  said,  in  his  pleasant  manner, 
* 'Driver,  my  friend,  are  you  an  Episcopalian?" 

Greatly  astonished,  the  man  made  answer: 
"No,  Mr.  President,  I  ain't  much  of  anything. 
But  if  I  go  to  church  at  all  I  go  to  the  Methodist 
church." 

140 


AT    THE    FRONT 

"Oh,  excuse  me,"  replied  Lincoln,  with  a  smile 
and  a  twinkle  in  his  eye;  "I  thought  you  must 
be  an  Episcopalian,  for  you  swear  just  like  Sec 
retary  Seward,  and  he  is  a  churchwarden." 

President  Lincoln  described  Sheridan  as  "a 
little  chap  with  round  head,  red  face,  legs  longer 
than  his  body,  and  not  enough  neck  to  hang  him 
by."  And  Colonel  Ellsworth  he  described  as 
"the  greatest  little  man  I  ever  met." 

Mr.  Lincoln  was  an  unusually  tall  man,  six 
feet  four.  Meeting  a  soldier  considerably  taller 
than  himself,  he  looked  him  over  with  wondering 
admiration.  "Say,  friend,"  he  said,  "does  your 
head  know  when  your  feet  are  cold?" 

Upon  one  occasion  Lincoln  and  Seward  called 
at  the  headquarters  of  General  McClellan  and 
were  informed  that  the  General  was  out.  After 
waiting  for  nearly  an  hour  McClellan  returned. 
Regardless  of  the  orderly  who  informed  him  that 
the  President  and  Secretary  Seward  were  waiting, 
he  went  directly  up-stairs.  Mr.  Lincoln,  thinking 
that  he  had  not  been  informed  of  his  presence, 
sent  word  to  him,  but  the  information  was  re 
turned  that  the  General  had  retired.  This  dis 
courteous  act  made  no  alteration  in  the  Presi- 

141 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

dent's  attitude,  but  thereafter  all  conferences 
were  held  at  the  White  House.  At  another  time 
it  was  arranged  that  McCIellan,  Ormsby  M. 
Mitchell,  and  Governor  Dennison  should  meet 
at  the  Executive  Mansion.  All  were  on  hand 
save  the  inflated  General.  After  a  long  wait  the 
gentlemen  showed  considerable  irritation,  but 
Mr.  Lincoln  said  very  generously: 

"Never  mind;  I  will  hold  McClellan's  horse, 
if  he  will  only  bring  us  success." 

Shortly  after  Antietam,  owing  to  McClellan's 
inaction,  the  President  visited  the  camp  with  his 
friend,  O.  M.  Hatch,  of  Illinois.  As  they  stood 
on  the  summit  of  a  near-by  hill  overlooking  the 
encampment,  Mr.  Lincoln  said: 

"Hatch,  Hatch,  what  is  all  this?" 

"Why,"  answered  Mr.  Hatch,  "that  is  the 
Army  of  the  Potomac." 

"No,  Hatch,  no,"  said  the  President;  "that 
is  General  McClellan's  body-guard." 

Usually  after  a  defeat  the  President  would  visit 
the  soldiers  and  address  to  them  words  of  com 
fort  and  cheer.  Sherman,  upon  one  of  these  occa 
sions,  asked  him  to  discourage  cheering  and  all 
other  noisy  demonstrations,  to  which  suggestion 
the  President  cheerfully  assented.  Sherman  says 

142 


AT    THE    FRONT 

that  he  made  "one  of  the  neatest,  best,  and  most 
feeling  addresses  I  ever  listened  to."  When  the 
boys  wanted  to  cheer  he  warned  them  good- 
naturedly:  "Don't  cheer,  boys.  I  confess  I  like 
it  myself,  but  Colonel  Sherman  here  says  it  is 
not  military,  and  I  guess  we  had  better  defer  to 
his  opinion." 

A  trip  to  the  battle-field  of  Antietam  served  to 
accentuate  certain  malicious  stories  about  the 
President,  and  Lamon  urged  him  to  deny  their 
truthfulness.  "No,"  said  Lincoln;  "in  politics 
every  man  must  skin  his  own  skunk.  These 
fellows  are  welcome  to  the  hide  of  this  one." 

In  the  spring  of  1862  the  President  spent 
several  days  at  Fortress  Monroe,  awaiting  mili 
tary  operations  upon  the  Peninsula.  As  a  por 
tion  of  the  Cabinet  were  with  him,  that  was  tem 
porarily  the  seat  of  government,  and  he  bore 
with  him  constantly  the  burden  of  public  affairs. 
His  favorite  diversion  was  reading  Shakespeare, 
whom  he  rendered  with  fine  discrimination  and 
feeling.  One  day  (it  chanced  to  be  the  day  before 
the  taking  of  Norfolk),  as  he  sat  reading  alone, 
he  called  to  his  aide  in  the  adjoining  room,  "You 
have  been  writing  long  enough,  Colonel;  come 
here;  I  want  to  read  to  you  a  passage  in 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

'Hamlet."1  He  read  the  discussion  on  ambition 
between  Hamlet  and  his  courtiers,  and  the  so 
liloquy  in  which  conscience  debates  of  a  future 
state.  This  was  followed  by  passages  from  "  Mac 
beth".  Then,  opening  to  "King  John,"  he  read 
from  the  third  act  the  passage  in  which  Con 
stance  bewails  her  imprisoned  lost  boy. 
Then,  closing  the  book,  and  recalling  the  words: 

"And,  Father  Cardinal,  I  have  heard  you  say 
That  we  shall  see  and  know  our  friends  in  heaven: 
If  that  be  true,  I  shall  see  my  boy  again." 

Mr.  Lincoln  said :  "Colonel,  did  you  ever  dream 
of  a  lost  friend,  and  feel  that  you  were  holding 
sweet  communion  with  that  friend,  and  yet  have 
a  sad  consciousness  that  it  was  not  a  reality? 
Just  so  I  dream  of  my  boy  Willie."  Overcome 
with  emotion,  he  dropped  his  head  on  the  table, 
and  sobbed  aloud. 

Lincoln  never  forgot  a  point.  A  sentinel  who 
was  pacing  near  a  camp-fire  while  Lincoln  was 
visiting  the  field,  listening  to  the  stories  he  told, 
made  the  philosophical  remark  that  that  man 
had  a  mighty  powerful  memory  but  an  awful 
poor  "forgettery."  He  did  not  tell  a  story  for 
the  sake  of  an  anecdote,  but  to  point  a  moral,  to 
clinch  a  fact.  As  an  illustration  of  this  General 

144 


AT    THE   FRONT 

Horace  Porter  tells  the  following  story,  which  he 
heard  the  last  time  he  talked  with  Lincoln: 

"We  were  discussing  the  subject  of  England's 
assistance  to  the  South,  and  how,  after  the  col 
lapse  of  the  Confederacy,  England  would  find 
she  had  aided  it  but  little  and  only  injured  her 
self.  He  said:  'That  reminds  me  of  a  barber 
in  Sangamon  County.  He  had  just  gone  to  bed, 
when  a  stranger  came  along  and  said  he  must 
be  shaved;  that  he  had  four  days'  beard  on  his 
face  and  was  going  to  a  ball,  and  that  the  beard 
must  come  off.  Well,  the  barber  reluctantly 
got  up  and  dressed,  and  seated  the  man  in  a 
chair  with  a  back  so  low  that  every  time  he 
bore  down  on  him  he  came  near  dislocating  his 
victim's  neck.  He  began  by  lathering  his  face, 
including  his  nose,  eyes,  and  ears,  stropped  his 
razor  on  his  boot,  and  then  made  a  drive  at  the 
man's  countenance  as  if  he  had  practised  mow 
ing  in  a  stubble-field.  He  made  a  bold  swath 
across  the  cheek,  carrying  away  the  beard,  a 
pimple,  and  two  warts.  The  man  in  the  chair 
ventured  the  remark,  "You  appear  to  make  every 
thing  level  as  you  go."  Said  the  barber,  "  Yes, 
and  if  this  handle  don't  break,  I  guess  I'll  get 
away  with  what  there  is  there."  The  man's 
cheeks  were  so  hollow  that  the  barber  could  not 
get  down  into  the  valleys  with  the  razor,  and 
10  145 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

the  ingenious  idea  occurred  to  him  to  stick  his 
finger  in  the  man's  mouth  and  press  out  the 
cheeks.  Finally  he  cut  clear  through  the  cheek 
and  into  his  own  finger.  He  pulled  the  finger 
out  of  the  man's  mouth,  snapped  the  blood  off 
it,  glared  at  him  and  said,  "  There,  you  lantern- 
jawed  cuss,  you've  made  me  cut  my  finger." 

"  'Now,'  said  Mr.  Lincoln,  'England  will  find 
that  she  has  got  the  South  into  a  pretty  bad 
scrape  by  trying  to  administer  to  her,  and  in  the 
end  she  will  find  that  she  has  only  cut  her  own 
finger." 

All  through  the  war  it  was  suggested  that  the 
difficulties  between  the  North  and  the  South 
could  be  speedily  adjusted  by  arbitration,  and 
numerous  committees  were  formed,  by  the  North 
especially,  to  meet  the  overtures  of  some  com 
mittees  that  were  formed  in  the  South.  On  one 
occasion  Mr.  Lincoln  reluctantly  consented  to 
be  one  of  a  committee.  He  recognized  the  ab 
surdity  of  the  undertaking,  and  knew  that  no 
committees  could  patch  up  these  differences; 
they  were  too  deep-rooted.  At  this  meeting  one 
of  the  Confederate  committee,  to  illustrate  a 
point,  referred  to  the  correspondence  between 
King  Charles  the  First  and  his  Parliament,  as  a 
reliable  precedent  of  a  constitutional  ruler  deal- 


AT    THE    FRONT 

ing  with  rebels.  Mr.  Lincoln  replied  as  follows: 
"Upon  questions  of  history  I  must  refer  you  to 
Mr.  Seward,  for  he  is  posted  in  such  things, 
and  I  don't  profess  to  be;  but  my  only  distinct 
recollection  of  the  matter  is  that  Charles  lost  his 
head!" 

Further  on  during  the  same  conference  one  of 
the  Confederates  again  pointed  out  the  diffi 
culties  that  would  arise  if  the  slaves  were  sud 
denly  liberated,  and  would  precipitate  not  only 
themselves  but  the  entire  society  of  the  South 
into  irremediable  ruin.  No  work  would  be  done, 
and  the  blacks  and  whites  would  starve  to 
gether.  The  President  waited  for  Mr.  Seward 
to  answer  the  argument,  but,  as  that  gentleman 
hesitated,  he  said: 

"Mr.  Hunter,  you  ought  to  know  a  great  deal 
better  about  this  matter  than  I,  for  you  have 
always  lived  under  the  slave  system.  I  can 
only  say,  in  reply  to  your  statement  of  the  case, 
that  it  reminds  me  of  a  man  out  in  Illinois,  by 
the  name  of  Chase,  who  undertook,  a  few  years 
ago,  to  raise  a  very  large  herd  of  hogs.  It  was  a 
great  trouble  to  feed  them,  and  how  to  get 
around  this  was  a  puzzle  to  him.  At  length  he 
hit  upon  the  plan  of  planting  an  immense  field 
of  potatoes;  and,  when  they  were  sufficiently 

147 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

grown,  he  turned  the  whole  herd  into  the  field 
and  let  them  have  full  swing,  thus  saving  not 
only  the  labor  of  feeding  the  hogs,  but  that  also 
of  digging  the  potatoes.  Charmed  with  his 
sagacity,  he  stood  one  day  leaning  against  the 
fence,  counting  his  hogs,  when  a  neighbor  came 
along. 

"  'Well,  well/  said  he,  'Mr.  Chase,  this  is  all 
very  fine.  Your  hogs  are  doing  very  well  just 
now;  but  you  know  out  here  in  Illinois  the  frost 
comes  early,  and  the  ground  freezes  a  foot  deep. 
Then  what  are  they  going  to  do?' 

"This  was  a  view  of  the  matter  which  Mr. 
Chase  had  not  taken  into  account.  Butchering 
time  for  hogs  was  away  on  in  December  or 
January.  He  scratched  his  head,  and  at  length 
stammered:  'Well,  it  may  come  pretty  hard  on 
their  snouts;  but  I  don't  see  but  it  will  be  root, 
hog,  or  die!'" 

The  commissioners,  one  of  them  being  Alex 
ander  H.  Stephens,  who  when  in  good  health 
weighed  about  ninety  pounds,  dined  with  the 
President  and  General  Grant.  After  dinner,  as 
they  were  leaving,  Stephens  put  on  an  English 
ulster  the  tails  of  which  reached  the  ground, 
while  the  collar  was  somewhat  above  the  wearer's 
head. 

148 


AT    THE    FRONT 

As  Stephens  went  out,  Lincoln  touched  Grant 
and  said : "  Grant,  look  at  Stephens.  Did  you  ever 
see  such  a  little  nubbin  with  as  much  shuck?'* 

At  the  Hampton  Roads  conference  Stephens 
requested  that  Mr.  Lincoln  send  back  his  nephew, 
Lieutenant  Stephens,  who  had  been  in  a  Federal 
prison,  having  been  taken  prisoner  at  Vicksburg. 
Mr.  Lincoln  sent  for  him. 

"I  told  your  uncle  that  1  would  send  you  to 
him,  Lieutenant.  You  have  the  freedom  of  the 
city,"  Mr.  Lincoln  continued,  "as  long  as  you 
please  to  remain  here.  When  you  want  to  go 
home,  let  me  know,  and  I  will  pass  you  through 
the  lines."  The  interview  was  a  memorable 
one,  and  the  Lieutenant  remained  in  Washington 
about  two  weeks,  deeply  moved  by  Lincoln's 
kindness.  He  then  got  a  pass  from  the  President, 
and  at  the  same  time  Mr.  Lincoln  handed  him 
his  photograph,  saying:  "You  had  better  take 
that  along.  It  is  considered  quite  a  curiosity 
down  your  way,  I  believe." 

After  this  conference,  when  the  Confederate 
commissioners — Vice-President  Stephens,  Camp 
bell,  and  Hunter — had  traversed  the  field  of 
official  routine  with  Mr.  Lincoln  and  Mr.  Seward, 
Lincoln  took  the  "slim,  pale-faced,  consump- 

149 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

tive  man"  aside  and,  pointing  to  a  sheet  of  paper 
he  held  in  his  hand,  said,  "Stephens,  let  me 
write  'Union'  at  the  top  of  that  page,  and  you 
may  write  below  it  whatever  you  please." 

Stephens  told  the  President  that  he  was  there 
to  treat  only  on  the  basis  of  autonomy.  "In 
that  case,  Stephens,"  said  Lincoln,  sadly,  "I  am 
guiltless  of  every  drop  of  blood  that  may  be  shed 
from  this  onward." 

Lincoln  used  to  say,  and  insisted,  that  Amer 
ican  humor  was  marked  by  grimness  and  gro- 
tesqueness,  and  told  these  stories  to  illustrate 
his  viewpoint.  There  was  a  soldier  in  the  Army 
of  the  Potomac  carried  to  the  rear  of  battle  with 
both  legs  shot  off,  who,  seeing  a  pie-woman 
hovering  about,  asked,  "Say,  old  lady,  are  them 
pies  sewed  or  pegged?"  And  there  was  another 
soldier  at  Chancellorsville  whose  regiment,  wait 
ing  to  be  called  into  battle,  was  drinking  coffee. 
He  was  about  to  put  his  mug  to  his  lips  when  a 
stray  bullet,  just  missing  the  coffee-drinker's 
head,  dashed  the  mug  into  fragments  and  left 
the  handle  on  his  finger.  The  soldier  angrily 
growled,  "Johnny,  you  can't  do  that  again  1" 

"It  seems,"  said  Lincoln,  "as  if  neither  death 
nor  danger  could  quench  the  grim  humor  of  the 
American  soldier." 

150 


AT    THE    FRONT 

On  a  narrow  cot,  in  the  military  hospital  at 
City  Point,  Major  Charles  H.  Houghton  was 
dying.  He  had  been  in  command  of  Fort  Has- 
kell,  a  strategic  point  in  the  rear  of  Grant's  lines, 
against  which  all  the  fury  of  Lee's  attack  was 
being  directed  in  an  effort  to  break  the  Union 
lines.  Against  Major  Houghton,  a  mere  boy 
of  twenty  years,  were  pitted  the  science  and 
strategic  knowledge  of  Gen.  John  B.  ^Gordon,  of 
Georgia. 

Help  came  at  last.  The  long-haired  gray;men 
were  beaten  back,  and  Lee's  desperate  move 
was  checked.  Houghton's  leg  was  amputated 
and  he  was  taken  to  the  hospital  at  City  Point, 
so  that  he  could  die  in  comparative  peace,  on  a 
clean  white  cot.  But  for  days  he  lingered  on 
the  borderland  of  life. 

Sometimes  in  the  long  stretches  of  the  night, 
when  life  and  resistance  are  at  low  ebb,  it  seemed 
to  those  who  watched  that  he  must  be  zigzagging 
back  and  forth  across  and  across  that  mysterious 
line.  Yet  always  in  the  morning,  when  friends 
inquired  for  news  of  him,  the  surgeons  could 
say: 

"He  is  alive.    That's  all." 

At  nine  o'clock  one  morning,  the  door  at  the 
end  of  the  ward  was  opened  and  Dr.  MacDonald, 
chief  surgeon,  called: 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

"Attention!  The  President  of  the  United 
States." 

There,  outside  the  door,  the  sunlight  streaming 
into  the  room  over  square,  gaunt  shoulders,  stood 
Abraham  Lincoln.  Into  the  room  he  stalked, 
bending  his  awkward  form  ungracefully — for  the 
doorway  was  low.  At  cot  after  cot  he  paused  to 
speak  some  word  of  cheer,  some  message  of  com 
fort  to  a  wounded  soldier. 

At  Houghton's  cot  the  two  men  paused. 
"This  is  the  man,"  whispered  MacDonald. 

"So  young!"  questioned  the  President.  "This 
the  man  that  held  Fort  Haskell?" 

MacDonald  nodded. 

With  a  large,  uncouth  hand  the  President  mo 
tioned  for  a  chair.  Silently  a  nurse  placed  one 
at  the  cot's  head.  Houghton  did  not  know;  he 
could  not.  As  though  he  were  afraid  it  would 
clatter,  and  hurt  the  sufferer,  Lincoln  softly  placed 
his  "stove-pipe"  hat  of  exaggerated  fashion  on 
the  floor.  Dust  covered  his  clothes,  which  were 
not  pressed.  As  he  leaned  over  the  cot  a  tawdry 
necktie,  much  awry,  dangled  near  Houghton's 
head.  Gently  as  a  woman  he  took  the  wasted, 
colorless  hand  in  his  own  sinewy  one  of  iron 
strength.  Just  the  suspicion  of  a  pressure  was 
there,  but  Houghton  opened  his  eyes. 

A  smile  which  had  forgotten  suffering  answered 
1*2 


AT    THE    FRONT 

the  great  President's  sad  smile.  In  tones  soft, 
almost  musical  it  seemed,  the  President  spoke  to 
the  boy  on  the  cot,  told  him  how  he  had  heard  of 
his  great  deeds,  how  he  was  proud  of  his  fellow- 
countryman. 

A  few  feeble  words  Houghton  spoke  in  reply, 
At  the  poor,  toneless  voice  the  President  winced. 
The  doctor  had  told  him  that  Houghton  would 
die.  Then  happened  a  strange  thing.  The  Presi 
dent  asked  to  see  the  wound  which  was  taking 
so  noble  a  life. 

Surgeons  and  nurses  tried  to  dissuade  him, 
but  Lincoln  insisted.  The  horrors  of  war  were 
for  him  to  bear  as  well  as  others,  he  told  them, 
and  to  him  the  wound  was  a  thing  holy. 

Bandages  long  and  stained  were  removed,  and 
the  President  saw. 

Straightening  on  his  feet,  he  flung  his  long, 
lank  arms  upward.  A  groan  such  as  Houghton 
had  not  given  voice  to  escaped  the  lips  of  the 
President. 

"Oh,  this  war!  This  awful,  awful  war!"  he 
sobbed. 

Down  the  deep-lined  furrows  of  the  homely, 
kindly  face  hot  tears  burned  their  way.  Slowly, 
tenderly,  the  President  leaned  over  the  pillow. 
The  dust  of  travel  had  not  been  washed  from 
his  face.  Now  the  tears,  of  which  he  was  not 

153 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

ashamed,  cut  furrows  in  the  grime  and  stained 
the  white  sheets  on  which  they  fell.  While  nurses 
and  surgeons  and  men  watched  there  in  the  little 
hospital,  Abraham  Lincoln  took  the  pallid  face 
of  Houghton  between  his  hands  and  kissed  it 
just  below  the  damp,  tangled  hair. 

"My  boy,"  he  said,  brokenly,  swallowing, 
"you  must  live.  You  must  live!" 

The  first  gleam  of  real,  warm,  throbbing  life 
came  into  the  dull  eyes.  Houghton  stiffened  with 
a  conscious,  elastic  tension  on  the  cot.  With  a 
little  wan  smile  he  managed  to  drag  a  hand  to 
his  forehead.  It  was  the  nearest  he  could  come 
to  a  salute.  The  awkward  form  of  the  President 
bent  lower  and  lower  to  catch  the  faint,  faint 
words. 

"I  intend  to,  sir,"  was  what  Houghton  said. 
And  he  did. 

Early  in  1865,  feeling  that  the  downfall  of  the 
Confederacy  was  near,  he  determined  to  be  on 
the  scene  and  in  readiness  to  meet  any  emer 
gency  which  might  arise.  There  he  lived  on  a 
boat  in  the  James  River,  opposite  the  cluster  of 
huts  on  the  bank  which  served  as  Grant's  head 
quarters.  Admiral  Porter  urged  him  to  accept 
his  bed,  but  he  insisted  upon  not  disturbing  the 
Admiral  and  sleeping  in  a  small  state-room,  whose 

154 


AT    THE    FRONT 

foerth  was  four  inches  shorter  than  his  body. 
"I  slept  well,"  he  said,  next  morning,  "but 
you  can't  put  a  long  sword  in  a  short  scab 
bard." 

His  host  set  carpenters  to  work,  in  the  absence 
of  his  distinguished  guest,  to  remedy  the  defi 
ciency.  The  state-room  was  quickly  lengthened 
and  widened;  and  the  following  morning  Lincoln 
soberly  reported : 

"A  miracle  happened  last  night;  I  shrank  six 
inches  in  length  and  a  foot  sideways."  The 
Admiral  was  positive,  however,  that  if  he  had 
given  him  two  fence-rails  to  sleep  on  he  would 
not  have  found  fault. 

"Carleton,"  the  war  correspondent  of  the  Bos 
ton  Journal,  relates  the  following  story: 

"  It  was  during  the  week  before  Richmond  was 
taken.  The  President  was  with  General  Grant 
and  others  at  City  Point  headquarters.  The 
party  sat  where  they  could  see  the  river.  A  flat- 
boat  made  its  appearance,  with  apparently  a 
large  family  on  board.  The  President  was  in 
formed  that  it  was  a  planter  of  the  vicinity,  with 
his  wife  and  legitimate  children,  and  not  a  few 
colored  women  with  their  children,  which  were 
also  supposed  to  be  his  own.  'Ah,  yes,'  said 
the  President;  'I  see.  It  is  Abraham,  Isaac,  and 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

Ishmael,  all  in  one  boat.'  The  aptness  of  the 
Scriptural  allusion,  and  the  quickness  of  the 
President  in  responding,  woke  a  smile  on  every 
countenance." 

"I  want  to  see  Richmond,"  Lincoln  said,  when 
he  heard  that  that  stronghold  was  once  more  in 
Union  hands.  He  went  by  the  river  from  Grant's 
headquarters,  and  landed  from  a  twelve-oared 
barge  near  Libby  Prison.  No  military  escort  to 
meet  him,  and  not  even  a  vehicle  of  any  kind. 
Taking  his  boy  Tad  by  the  hand,  he  walked 
through  the  streets  for  a  mile  and  a  half,  guarded 
only  by  ten  sailors.  The  negroes  were  wild  with 
joy  when  they  beheld  their  emancipator,  before 
whom  they  prostrated  themselves.  "Don't 
kneel  to  me;  that  is  not  right,"  he  said;  and  a 
leader  among  them  commanded  in  a  hoarse 
whisper,  "'Sh — 'sh — be  still;  heah  our  Saviour 
speak."  Lincoln  said:  "You  must  kneel  to  God 
only.  I  am  but  God's  humble  instrument,  but 
you  may  rest  assured  that  as  long  as  I  live  no 
one  shall  put  a  shackle  on  your  limbs.  God 
bless  you,  and  let  me  pass  on,"  he  said  to  them, 
as  he  passed  along.  Again  in  the  strange  prog 
ress  of  this  modest  conqueror  an  old  slave  lifted 
his  hat,  and  the  President  returned  the  saluta 
tion  by  lifting  his,  whereat  the  crowd  of  negroes 

156 


AT   THE    FRONT 

who  followed  him  gaped  in  wonder  to  see  a  white 
man  uncover  to  a  black. 

Carl  Schurz  thus  describes  his  entry  into 
Richmond : 

"  Richmond  fell.  Lincoln  himself  entered  the 
city  on  foot,  accompanied  only  by  a  few  officers 
and  a  squad  of  sailors  who  had  rowed  him  ashore 
from  the  flotilla  in  the  James  River,  a  negro 
picked  up  on  the  way  serving  as  a  guide.  Never 
had  the  world  seen  a  more  modest  conqueror 
and  a  more  characteristic  triumphal  procession 
— no  army  with  banners  and  drums,  only  a  throng 
of  those  who  had  been  slaves,  hastily  run  to 
gether,  escorting  the  victorious  chief  into  the 
capital  of  the  vanquished  foe.  We  are  told  that 
they  pressed  around  him,  kissed  his  hands  and 
his  garments,  and  shouted  and  danced  with  joy, 
while  tears  ran  down  the  President's  care- 
furrowed  cheeks." 

When  he  was  in  Richmond  after  it  came  into 
the  possession  of  the  Union  forces,  he  looked  for 
the  home  of  George  Pickett.  "Is  this  where 
George  Pickett  lives?"  he  asked  of  a  woman  with 
a  baby  in  her  arms  who  answered  his  summons. 
She  said  she  was  Mrs.  Pickett.  Then  he  told 
her  who  he  was,  insisting  that  he  came  not  as 

157 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

President,  but  simply  as  "Abraham  Lincoln, 
George's  old  friend."  He  took  the  little  one  in 
his  arms,  and  thus  did  this  noble  conqueror  re 
store  the  Union  in  one  heart.  He  had  known 
Pickett  in  Illinois  and  he  obtained  for  him  his 
appointment  at  West  Pointr 


PART  VI 
THE   COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 


VI 

THE   COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

r\ELEGATIONS  from  Baltimore  called  to  pro- 
LJ  test  against  the  "pollution"  of  the  soil  of 
Maryland  by  the  feet  of  the  soldiers  marching 
across  it  to  fight  against  the  South.  They  had  no 
difficulty  in  understanding  the  President's  reply: 
"We  must  have  troops;  and,  as  they  can  neither 
crawl  under  Maryland  nor  fly  over  it,  they  must 
come  across  it.'5 

When  the  war  had  actually  begun  he  delighted 
in  the  soldiers'  grim  humor  in  the  face  of  death. 
He  told  story  after  story  about  the  "boys," 
laughing,  with  tears  in  his  gray  eyes,  at  their 
heroism  in  danger.  He  never  laughed  at  the 
private  soldier,  except  in  the  pride  of  his  hearty 
patriotism.  But  he  made  constant  fun  of  the 
assumptions  of  generals  and  other  high  officials. 
The  stories  he  most  enjoyed  telling  were  of  the 
soldiers'  scoffing  at  rank  and  pretension.  He 
delighted  in  the  following: 
ll  161 


LINCOLN'S   OWN    STORIES 

A  picket  challenged  a  tug  going  up  Broad 
River,  South  Carolina,  with: 

"Who  goes  there  ?" 

"The  Secretary  of  War  and  Major-General 
Foster,"  was  the  pompous  reply. 

"Aw!  We've  got  major-generals  enough  up 
here — why  don't  you  bring  us  up  some  hard 
tack?" 

On  another  occasion  a  friend  burst  into  his 
room  to  tell  him  that  a  brigadier-general  and 
twelve  army  mules  had  been  carried  off  by  a 
Confederate  raid. 

"How  unfortunate!  Those  mules  cost  us  two 
hundred  dollars  apiece!"  was  the  President's 
only  reply. 

Mr.  Lincoln  was  a  very  abstemious  man,  ate 
very  little  and  drank  nothing  but  water,  not 
from  principle,  but  because  he  did  not  like  wine 
or  spirits.  Once,  in  rather  dark  days  early  in 
the  war,  a  temperance  committee  came  to  him 
and  said  that  the  reason  we  did  not  win  was 
because  our  army  drank  so  much  whisky  as  to 
bring  the  curse  of  the  Lord  upon  them.  He  said, 
in  reply,  that  it  was  rather  unfair  on  the  part  of 
the  aforesaid  curse,  as  the  other  side  drank  more 
and  worse  whisky  than  ours  did. 

162 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

Some  one  urged  President  Lincoln  to  place 
General  Fremont  in  command  of  some  station. 
While  the  President  did  not  want  to  offend  his 
friend  at  a  rather  critical  time  of  the  war,  he 
pushed  him  gently  and  firmly  aside  in  this  wise: 
He  said  he  did  not  know  where  to  place  Gen 
eral  Fremont,  and  it  reminded  him  of  an  old 
man  who  advised  his  son  to  take  a  wife,  to 
which  the  young  man  responded,  "Whose  wife 
shall  I  take?" 

On  one  occasion,  exasperated  at  the  discrep 
ancy  between  the  aggregate  of  troops  forwarded 
to  McClellan  and  the  number  of  men  the  General 
reported  as  having  received,  Lincoln  exclaimed, 
"Sending  men  to  that  army  is  like  shoveling 
fleas  across  a  barnyard — half  of  them  never  get 
there." 

Lincoln's  orders  to  his  generals  are  filled  with 
the  kindly  courtesy,  the  direct  argument,  and 
the  dry  humor  which  are  so  characteristic  of  the 
man.  To  Grant,  who  had  telegraphed,  "If  the 
thing  is  pressed,  I  think  that  Lee  will  surrender," 
Lincoln  replied,  ''Let  the  thing  be  pressed." 

To  McClellan,  gently  chiding  him  for  his  in 
activity:  "I  have  just  read  your  despatch  about 
sore  tongue  and  fatigued  horse.  Will  you  par- 

163 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

don  me  for  asking  what  the  horses  of  your  army 
have  done  since  the  battle  of  Antietam  that 
fatigues  anything?" 

Referring  to  General  McClellan's  inactivity, 
President  Lincoln  once  expressed  his  impatience 
by  saying,  "McClellan  is  a  pleasant  and  schol 
arly  gentleman;  he  is  an  admirable  engineer,  but 
he  seems  to  have  a  special  talent  for  stationary 
engineering." 

After  a  long  period  of  inaction  on  the  part  of 
the  Union  forces  a  telegram  from  Cumberland 
Gap  reached  Mr.  Lincoln,  saying  that  firing  was 
heard  in  the  direction  of  Knoxville.  The  Presi 
dent  simply  remarked  that  he  was  glad  of  it. 
As  General  Burnside  was  in  a  perilous  position 
in  Tennessee  at  that  time,  those  present  were 
greatly  surprised  at  Lincoln's  calm  view  of  the 
case.  "You  see,"  said  the  President,  "it  re 
minds  me  of  Mistress  Sallie  Ward,  a  neighbor 
of  mine,  who  had  a  very  large  family.  Occasion 
ally  one  of  her  numerous  progeny  would  be  heard 
crying  in  some  out-of-the-way  place,  upon  which 
Mrs.  Ward  would  exclaim,  ' There's  one  of  my 
children  not  dead  yet!' ' 

Writing  to  Hooker,  who  succeeded  Burnside, 
Lincoln  said: 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

"I  believe  you  to  be  a  brave  and  skilful 
soldier,  which,  of  course,  I  like.  I  also  believe 
you  do  not  mix  politics  with  your  profession,  in 
which  you  are  right.  You  have  confidence  in 
yourself,  which  is  a  valuable,  if  not  indispensable, 
quality.  You  are  ambitious,  which  within  rea 
sonable  bounds  does  good  rather  than  harm;  but 
I  think  that  during  General  Burnside's  command 
of  the  army  you  have  taken  counsel  with  your 
ambition,  and  thwarted  him  as  much  as  you 
could,  in  which  you  did  a  great  wrong  to  the 
country  and  to  a  most  meritorious  and  honorable 
brother-officer.  I  have  heard,  in  such  a  way  as 
to  believe  it,  of  your  recently  saying  that  both 
the  army  and  the  government  needed  a  dictator. 
Of  course,  it  is  not  for  this,  but  in  spite  of  it,  that 
I  have  given  you  the  command.  Only  those 
generals  who  gain  successes  can  set  up  dictators. 
What  I  now  ask  of  you  is  military  success,  and 
I  will  risk  the  dictatorship." 

General  Fry,  who  was  Provost-Marshal  of  the 
War  Department  and  received  daily  instructions 
from  the  President  in  regard  to  the  draft  for 
troops,  which  was  one  of  the  most  embarrassing 
and  perplexing  questions  that  arose  during  the 
war,  illustrates  this  peculiar  trait  by  an  anecdote. 
He  says: 

165 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

"Upon  one  occasion  the  Governor  of  a  State 
came  to  my  office  bristling  with  complaints  in 
relation  to  the  number  of  troops  required  from 
his  State,  the  details  of  drafting  the  men,  and 
the  plan  of  compulsory  service  in  general.  I 
found  it  impossible  to  satisfy  his  demands,  and 
accompanied  him  to  the  Secretary  of  War's  office, 
whence,  after  a  stormy  interview  with  Stanton, 
he  went  alone  to  press  his  ultimatum  upon  the 
highest  authority.  After  I  had  waited  anxiously 
for  some  hours,  expecting  important  orders  or 
decisions  from  the  President,  or  at  least  a  sum 
mons  to  the  White  House  for  explanation,  the 
Governor  returned,  and  said,  with  a  pleasant 
smile,  that  he  was  going  home  by  the  next  train, 
and  merely  dropping  in  en  route  to  say  good-by. 
Neither  the  business  he  came  upon  nor  his  inter 
view  with  the  President  was  alluded  to. 

"As  soon  as  I  could  see  Lincoln  I  said:  'Mr. 
President,  I  am  very  anxious  to  learn  how  you 

disposed  of  Governor  .  He  went  to  your 

office  from  the  War  Department  in  a  towering 
rage.  I  suppose  you  found  it  necessary  to  make 
large  concessions  to  him,  as  he  returned  from 
you  entirely  satisfied/ 

"  'Oh  no/  he  replied,  'I  did  not  concede  any 
thing.  You  know  how  that  Illinois  farmer  man 
aged  the  big  log  that  lay  in  the  middle  of  the 

166 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

field?  To  the  inquiries  of  his  neighbors,  one 
Sunday,  he  announced  that  he  had  got  rid  of  the 
big  log.  "Got  rid  of  it!"  said  they.  "How  did 
you  do  it?  It  was  too  big  to  haul  out,  too  knotty 
to  split,  and  too  wet  and  soggy  to  burn;  what  did 
you  do  ? "  "  Well,  now,  boys,"  replied  the  farmer, 
"if  you  won't  divulge  the  secret,  I'll  tell  you  how 
I  got  rid  of  it.  /  plowed  around  it."  Now/  said 
Lincoln,  'don't  tell  anybody,  but  that's  the  way  I 

got  rid  of  Governor .     /  plowed  around  him, 

but  it  took  me  three  mortal  hours  to  do  it,  and 
I  was  afraid  every  moment  he'd  see  what  I 
was  at.' " 

Commenting  on  Jeb  Stuart's  raid  into  Mary 
land  and  Pennsylvania  and  his  complete  circuit 
of  McClellan's  army  and  his  return  over  the 
river  unharmed  despite  McClellan's  attempt  to 
head  him  off,  Lincoln  remarked: 

"When  I  was  a  boy  we  used  to  play  a  game, 
three  times  round  and  out.  Stuart  has  been 
round  twice;  if  he  goes  round  him  once  more, 
gentlemen,  McClellan  will  be  out." 

The  General  ascribed  Stuart's  success  to  his 
lack  of  horses,  and  telegraphed  that  unless  the 
army  got  more  horses  there  would  be  similar 
expeditions.  To  this  Halleck  telegraphed: 

"The  President  has  read  your  telegram,  and 
167 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

directs  me  to  suggest  that  if  the  enemy  had  more 
occupation  south  of  the  river  his  cavalry  would 
not  be  so  likely  to  make  raids  north  of  it." 

"McClellan's  tardiness,"  said  Lincoln,  "re 
minds  me  of  a  fellow  in  Illinois  who  had  studied 
law  but  had  never  tried  a  case.  He  was  sued,  and, 
not  having  confidence  in  his  ability  to  manage 
his  own  case,  employed  a  lawyer  to  manage  it  for 
him.  He  had  only  a  confused  idea  of  the  mean 
ing  of  law  terms,  and,  on  the  trial,  constantly 
made  suggestions  to  his  lawyer,  who  paid  but 
little  attention  to  him.  At  last,  fearing  that  his 
lawyer  was  not  handling  the  opposing  counsel 
very  well,  he  lost  all  his  patience,  and,  springing 
to  his  feet,  cried  out: 

"  'Why  don't  you  go  at  him  with  a  fi.  fa.,  a 
demurrer,  a  capias,  a  surrebutter,  or  ne  exeat, 
or  something,  and  not  stand  there  like  a  nudum 
pactum  or  a  non  est?' ! 

A  new  levy  of  troops  required,  on  a  certain 
occasion,  the  appointment  of  a  large  additional 
number  of  brigadier  and  major  generals.  Among 
the  immense  number  of  applications,  Mr.  Lincoln 
came  upon  one  wherein  the  claims  of  a  certain 
worthy  (not  in  the  service  at  all)  "for  a  general 
ship"  were  glowingly  set  forth.  But  the  appli- 

i6S 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

cant  did  not  set  forth  whether  he  wanted  to  be 
a  brigadier  or  a  major  general.  The  President 
observed  this  difficulty  and  solved  it  by  a  lucid 
indorsement.  The  clerk,  on  receiving  the  paper 
again,  found  written  across  its  back,  "Major- 
General,  I  reckon.  A.  LINCOLN." 

A  woman  once  approached  the  President 
rather  imperiously.  "Mr.  President,"  she  said, 
very  theatrically,  "you  must  give  me  a  colonel's 
commission  for  my  son.  Sir,  I  demand  it,  not 
as  a  favor,  but  as  a  right.  Sir,  my  grandfather 
fought  at  Lexington.  Sir,  my  uncle  was  the  only 
man  that  did  not  run  away  at  Bladensburg. 
Sir,  my  father  fought  at  New  Oceans,  and  rpy 
husband  was  killed  at  Monterey. J> 

I  guess,  madam,"  answered  Mr.  Lincoln,  dryly, 

your  family  has  done  enough  for  the  country. 
It  is  time  to  give  somebody  else  a  chance." 

Some  gentlemen  were  once  finding  fault  with 
the  President  because  certain  generals  were  not 
given  commands.  "The  fact  is,"  replied  Mr. 
Lincoln,  "I've  got  more  pegs  than  I  have  holes 
to  put  them  in." 

One  of  the  telegraph  operators  at  the  War 
Department  relates  that  the  President  came  over 

169 


<e 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

there  at  night  during  the  war  and  remarked  that 
he  had  just  been  reading  a  little  book  which  some 
one  had  given  to  his  son  Tad.  It  was  a  story  of 
a  motherly  hen  who  was  struggling  to  raise  her 
brood  and  teach  them  to  lead  honest  and  useful 
lives,  but  in  her  efforts  she  was  greatly  annoyed 
by  a  mischievous  fox  who  made  sad  havoc  with 
her  offspring.  "I  thought  I  would  turn  over  to 
the  finis  and  see  how  it  came  out,"  said  the  Presi 
dent.  "This  is  what  it  said : '  And  the  fox  became 
a  good  fox,  and  was  appointed  paymaster  in  the 
army/  I  wonder  who  he  is!" 

A  person  who  wished  to  be  commissioned  as 
brigadier  told  Mr.  Lincoln  in  a  sarcastic  tone, 
"I  see  there's  no  vacancy  among  the  brigadiers 
from  the  fact  that  so  many  colonels  are  com 
manding  brigades." 

"My  friend,"  said  Mr.  Lincoln,  "let  me  tell 
you  something  about  that.  You  are  a  farmer, 
I  believe;  if  not,  you  will  understand  me  also. 
Suppose  you  had  a  large  cattle-yard,  full  of  all 
sorts  of  cattle,  cows,  oxen,  and  bulls,  and  you 
kept  killing,  selling,  and  disposing  of  the  cows  and 
oxen  in  one  way  or  another,  taking  good  care  of 
the  bulls;  by  and  by  you  would  find  out  that  you 
had  nothing  but  a  yard  full  of  old  bulls,  good  for 
nothing  under  heaven. 

170 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

"Now  it  will  be  just  so  with  the  army  if  I  don't 
stop  making  brigadier-generals." 

A  woman  came  to  the  White  House  one  day  on 
an  unusual  errand,  which  the  President  suspected 
was  a  pretext,  but  he  took  her  at  her  word  and 
gave  her  the  following  note  to  Major  Ramsey, 
of  the  quartermaster's  department: 

"Mv  DEAR  SIR, — The  lady  bearer  of  this  says 
she  has  two  sons  who  want  to  work.  Set  them 
at  it  if  possible.  Wanting  to  work  is  so  rare 
a  merit  that  it  should  be  encouraged. 

"A.  LINCOLN." 

In  the  most  trying  days  of  the  war  Lincoln  was 
strolling  down  Pennsylvania  Avenue  one  evening 
in  company  with  one  of  his  old  and  intimate 
friends  from  Illinois.  He  was  somewhat  anxious 
and  depressed,  for  there  still  appeared  at  times 
a  strange  melancholic  vein  in  his  temperament. 
He  felt  grievously  the  overpowering  responsi 
bility  of  his  position,  and  some  special  care  of 
the  moment  rested  apprehensively  upon  his 
mind. 

The  two  friends  walked  slowly  along  in  silence, 
when  suddenly  a  man  stepped  in  front  of  the 
President,  and,  presenting  a  paper,  said; 

"Mr.  Lincoln,  this  is  the  only  opportunity  I 
171 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

have  had  to  speak  to  you.  Please  consider  my 
case.  I—" 

Here  Mr,  Lincoln  interrupted  him  impatiently: 
"My  man,  don't  annoy  me  this  way.  I  have  too 
much  to  think  of.  You  must  let  me  alone." 

Then  he  passed  on  with  his  companion,  leaving 
the  applicant  standing  dejectedly  on  the  side 
walk. 

The  two  friends  walked  a  short  distance  with 
out  speaking,  when  suddenly  Mr.  Lincoln  stopped 
and  said: 

"John,  I  treated  that  man  shamefully.  I  must 
go  back  and  see  him." 

And  he  at  once  turned  and  walked  up  to  the 
petitioner,  who  had  remained  in  his  despondent 
attitude. 

"My  friend,"  said  Lincoln,  "I  was  rude  to  you 
just  now;  I  ask  your  pardon.  I  have  a  great 
deal  to  worry  and  trouble  me  at  this  time,  but 
I  had  no  right  to  treat  you  so  uncivilly.  Take 
this  card,  and  come  to  my  office  in  the  morning, 
and  I  will  do  what  I  can  for  you.  Good-night." 

That  done,  he  rejoined  his  friend,  to  resume 
his  melancholy  manner,  and  silently  they  walked 
on  as  before. 

Noah  Brookes  relates  the  following: 
"Returning  from  a  visit  to  the  Army  of  the 
172 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

Potomac,  when  its  depots  were  at  City  Point, 
I  gave  an  account  of  my  visit  to  the  President, 
as  he  had  sent  me  with  a  special  pass  to  Grant's 
headquarters.  He  asked,  jocularly,  'Did  you 
meet  any  colonels  who  wanted  to  be  brigadiers, 
or  any  brigadiers  who  wanted  to  be  major- 
generals,  or  any  major-generals  who  wanted  to 
run  things?'  Receiving  a  reply  in  the  negative, 
he  stretched  out  his  hand  in  mock  congratula 
tion,  and  said,  'Happy  man!' 

"  Afterward  an  officer  who  had  been  attentive 
to  our  little  party  did  come  to  my  lodgings  and 
complain  that  he  ought  to  be  promoted,  urging, 
among  other  things,  that  his  relationship  to  a 
distinguished  general  kept  him  down.  I  told  the 
incident  to  the  President,  after  recalling  his  pre 
vious  questions  to  me.  Lincoln  fairly  shrieked 
with  laughter,  and,  jumping  up  from  his  seat, 
cried,  'Keeps  him  down!  Keeps  him  down! 
That's  all  that  keeps  him  up.' " 

When  Lincoln  pleaded  for  a  commission  for 
his  son  Robert  he  pleaded  for  it  in  his  own  pecu 
liar  and  diffident  way.  This  communication  has 
a  peculiar  interest  in  view  of  the  fact  that  it 
came  from  one  who  bestowed  such  favors  by  the 
thousand.  Writing  to  General  Grant,  he  says: 

"Please  read  and  answer  this  letter  as  though 
173 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

I  was  not  President,  but  only  a  friend.  My  son, 
now  in  his  twenty-second  year,  having  graduated 
at  Harvard,  wishes  to  see  something  of  the  war 
before  it  ends.  I  do  not  wish  to  put  him  in  the 
ranks,  nor  yet  give  him  a  commission  to  which 
those  who  have  already  served  long  are  better 
entitled  and  better  qualified  to  hold. 

"Could  he,  without  embarrassment  to  you  or 
detriment  to  the  service,  go  into  your  military 
family  with  some  nominal  rank,  I,  and  not  the 
public,  furnishing  his  necessary  means  ?  If  not, 
say  so  without  the  least  hesitation,  because  I 
am  as  anxious  and  as  deeply  interested  that  you 
shall  not  be  encumbered  as  you  can  be  yourself." 

Once  upon  learning  that  a  woman  he  had  seen 
in  the  halls  of  the  War  Department  was  there  for 
the  purpose  of  securing  a  pass  to  visit  her  hus 
band  in  the  Army  of  the  Potomac,  which  was 
against  the  rules,  in  order  to  show  him  their 
first-born,  Lincoln  did  not  rest  until  he  had  tele 
graphed  for  the  husband  to  come  to  Washington, 
and  a  bed  had  been  assigned  to  the  mother  and 
child  in  one  of  the  Washington  hospitals. 

His  gentleness  is  also  exhibited  in  the  following 
incident  related  by  Morgan.  He  once  reproved 
a  man  who  had  been  refused  by  every  one  else 

174 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

for  following  him  to  the  Soldiers'  Home,  his  only 
refuge,  and  sent  him  away.  Next  day,  after  a 
night  of  remorse,  he  sought  the  man  out  at  his 
hotel,  and  begged  his  forgiveness  for  treating 
"with  rudeness  one  who  had  offered  his  life  for 
his  country"  and  was  in  trouble.  Taking  him 
into  his  carriage,  the  President  got  him  out  of  his 
troubles.  When  he  told  Stanton  what  he  had 
done,  the  grim  Secretary  himself  apologized  for 
rejecting  the  appeal. 

"No,  no,"  said  Lincoln,  "you  did  right  in 
adhering  to  your  rules.  If  we  had  such  a  soft 
hearted  fool  as  I  am  in  your  place,  there  would 
be  no  rules  that  the  army  or  the  country  could 
depend  on." 

This  story  shows  his  accessibility  and  friend 
liness  and  the  humorous  disposition  which  was 
so  characteristic  with  him.  A  tax  had  been 
levied  on  oxen.  An  owner  of  a  pair  came  to  Lin 
coln,  who  had  more  on  his  shoulders  than  any 
other  man  in  the  world,  to  see  if  he  would  not 
help  him  to  get  rid  of  the  tax.  Lincoln  knew  the 
man,  and  remembered  the  oxen,  and  said:  "Are 
those  the  oxen  I  see  standing  at  the  corner  when 
ever  I  go  to  the  Treasury?  I  never  saw  them 
move.  Maybe  they  are  not  movable  property. 
Perhaps  we  may  get  them  put  down  as  real 

175 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

estate."  In  this  incident  Lincoln  appears  in  a 
patriarchal  character,  which  was  certainly  his, 
reminding  us  of  an  Oriental  prince  seated  at  the 
gate  of  his  palace,  or  rather  the  representation 
of  one  in  comic  opera. 

A  year  or  more  before  Mr.  Lincoln's  death  a 
delegation  of  clergymen  waited  upon  him  in 
reference  to  the  appointment  of  the  army  chap 
lains.  The  delegation  consisted  of  a  Presbyterian, 
a  Baptist,  and  an  Episcopal  clergyman.  They 
stated  that  the  character  of  many  of  the  chap 
lains  was  notoriously  bad,  and  they  had  come  to 
urge  upon  the  President  the  necessity  of  more 
discretion  in  these  appointments. 

"But,  gentlemen,"  said  the  President,  "that 
is  a  matter  which  the  Government  has  nothing 
to  do  with;  the  chaplains  are  chosen  by  the 
regiments." 

Not  satisfied  with  this,  the  clergymen  pressed, 
in  turn,  a  change  in  the  system.  Mr.  Lincoln 
heard  them  through  without  remark,  and  then 
said,  "Without  any  disrespect,  gentlemen,  I  will 
tell  you  a  little  story. 

"Once,  in  Springfield,  I  was  going  off  on  a 
short  journey,  and  reached  the  depot  a  little 
ahead  of  time.  Leaning  against  the  fence  just 
outside  the  depot  was  a  little  darky  boy  whom 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

I  knew,  named  Dick,  busily  digging  with  his  toe 
in  a  mud-puddle.  As  I  came  up  I  said,  'Dick, 
what  are  you  about?' 

"  'Making  a  church?  said  he. 

"  'A  church!'  said  I;  'what  do  you  mean?' 

'Yes,  yes/  said  Dick,  pointing  with  his  toe; 
'don't  you  see?  There  is  the  shape  of  it;  there's 
the  steps  and  front  door — here  the  pews,  where 
the  folks  set,  and  there's  a  pulpit.' 

'Yes,  I  see,'  said  I,  'but  why  don't  you  make 
a  minister?' 

1  'Laws,'  answered  Dick,  with  a  grin,  'I  hain't 
got  mud  enough!'  ' 

In  the  course  of  the  Rebellion  an  Austrian 
count  applied  to  President  Lincoln  for  a  position 
in  the  army.  Being  introduced  by  the  Austrian 
minister,  he  needed,  of  course,  no  further  recom 
mendation;  but,  as  if  fearing  that  his  importance 
might  not  be  fully  appreciated,  he  proceeded  to 
explain  that  he  was  a  count,  that  his  family  were 
ancient  and  highly  respectable,  when  Lincoln, 
with  a  merry  twinkle  in  his  eye,  tapping  the  aris 
tocratic  lover  of  titles  on  the  shoulder  in  a  fa 
therly  way,  as  if  the  man  had  confessed  to  some 
wrong,  interrupted,  in  a  soothing  tone,  "Never 
mind;  you  will  be  treated  with  just  as  much 
consideration  for  all  that!" 

12  177 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

A  woman  once  requested  of  Lincoln  that  a 
church  in  Alexandria  that  was  being  used  for  a 
hospital  be  given  up  and  rededicated  for  purposes 
of  worship.  Mr.  Lincoln  asked  if  she  had  applied 
to  the  post  surgeon,  and  being  assured  that  she 
had  but  that  he  could  do  nothing  for  her,  Lincoln 
said,  "Well,  madam,  that  is  an  end  of  it  then." 

More  for  the  purpose  of  testing  her  sentiments, 
Mr.  Lincoln  continued:  "You  say  you  live  in 
Alexandria.  How  much  would  you  be  willing 
to  subscribe  toward  building  a  hospital  there?" 

She  replied:  "You  may  be  aware,  Mr.  Lincoln, 
that  our  property  has  been  very  much  embar 
rassed  by  the  war,  and  I  could  not  afford  to  give 
much  for  such  a  purpose." 

"Yes,"  said  Mr.  Lincoln,  "and  this  war  is  not 
over  yet;  and  I  expect  we  shall  have  another 
fight  soon,  and  that  church  may  be  very  useful 
as  a  hospital  in  which  to  nurse  our  poor  wounded 
soldiers.  It  is  my  candid  opinion  that  God  wants 
that  church  for  our  wounded  fellows.  So, 
madam,  you  will  excuse  me.  I  can  do  nothing 
for  you." 

Afterward,  in  speaking  of  this  incident,  Mr, 
Lincoln  said  that  the  lady  as  a  representative 
of  her  class  in  Alexandria  reminded  him  of  a 
story  of  the  young  man  who  had  an  aged  mother 
and  father  owning  considerable  property.  The 

178 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

young  man,  being  an  only  son,  and  believing  that 
the  old  people  had  lived  out  their  usefulness, 
assassinated  them  both.  He  was  accused,  tried, 
and  convicted  of  the  murder.  When  the  judge 
came  to  pass  sentence  upon  him,  and  called  upon 
him  to  give  any  reason  he  might  have  why  the 
sentence  of  death  should  not  be  passed  upon 
him,  he  with  great  promptness  replied  that  he 
hoped  the  court  would  be  lenient  to  him  be 
cause  he  was  a  poor  orphan! 

"His  skill  in  parrying  troublesome  questions 
was  wonderful,"  said  Mr.  Chauncey  M.  Depew. 
"I  was  in  Washington  at  a  critical  period  of  the 
war,  when  the  late  John  Ganson,  of  Buffalo,  one 
of  the  ablest  lawyers  in  our  State,  and  who, 
though  elected  as  a  Democrat,  supported  all  Mr. 
Lincoln's  war  measures,  called  on  him  for  expla 
nations.  Mr.  Ganson  was  very  bald*  with  a 
perfectly  smooth  face,  and  had  a  most  direct 
and  aggressive  way  of  stating  his  views  or  of 
demanding  what  he  thought  he  was  entitled  to. 
He  said: 

c  'Mr.  Lincoln,  I  have  supported  all  of  your 
measures  and  think  I  am  entitled  to  your  con 
fidence.  We  are  voting  and  acting  in  the  dark 
in  Congress,  and  I  demand  to  know — I  think  I 
have  the  right  to  ask  and  to  know — what  is  the 

179 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

present  situation  and  what  are  the  prospects  and 
conditions  of  the  several  campaigns  and  armies  ? ' 

"Mr.  Lincoln  looked  at  him  quizzically  for  a 
moment,  and  then  said,  'Ganson,  how  clean  you 
shave!' 

"Most  men  would  have  been  offended,  but 
Ganson  was  too  broad  and  intelligent  a  man  not 
to  see  the  point  and  retire  at  once,  satisfied,  from 
the  field." 

To  a  politician  who  criticized  his  course  he 
wrote,  "Would  you  have  me  drop  the  war  where 
it  is,  or  would  you  prosecute  it  in  future  with 
elder-stalk  squirts  charged  with  rose  water?" 

The  President  was  once  called  upon  in  reference 
to  a  newly  invented  gun,  concerning  which  a 
committee  had  been  appointed  to  make  a  report. 

The  "report"  was  sent  for,  and  when  it  came 
it  was  found  to  be  of  the  most  voluminous  de 
scription.  Mr.  Lincoln  glanced  at  it,  and  said, 
"I  should  want  a  new  lease  of  life  to  read  this 
through!"  Throwing  it  down  upon  the  table, 
he  added:  "Why  can't  a  committee  of  this  kind 
occasionally  exhibit  a  grain  of  common  sense? 
If  I  send  a  man  to  buy  a  horse  for  me,  I  expect 
him  to  tell  me  his  points — not  how  many  hairs 
there  are  in  his  tail." 

1 80 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

Mr.  Lincoln  sometimes  had  a  very  effective 
way  of  dealing  with  men  who  troubled  him  with 
questions.  A  visitor  once  asked  him  how  many 
men  the  rebels  had  in  the  field. 

The  President  replied,  very  seriously,  "  Twelve 
hundred  thousand,  according  to  the  best  authority.19 

The  interrogator  grew  pale,  and  ejaculated, 
"Good  heavens!" 

"Yes,  sir;  twelve  hundred  thousand — no  doubt 
of  it.  You  see,  all  of  our  generals,  when  they 
get  whipped,  say  the  enemy  outnumbers  them 
from  three  or  five  to  one,  and  I  must  believe 
them.  We  have  four  hundred  thousand  men  in 
the  field,  and  three  rimes  four  make  twelve. 
Don't  you  see  it?" 

Here  is  a  story  told  by  General  Fisk  that  Mr. 
Lincoln  relished  much  and  often  repeated. 

When  Fisk  became  a  colonel  he  organized 
his  regiment  with  the  understanding  that  he 
was  to  do  all  the  swearing  of  the  regiment.  One 
of  the  teamsters,  however,  as  the  roads  were  not 
always  of  the  best,  had  difficulty  in  controlling 
his  temper  and  his  tongue.  Once,  under  unusual 
difficulties,  through  a  series  of  mud-pools  a  little 
worse  than  usual,  unable  to  control  himself  any 
longer,  this  teamster  burst  forth  into  a  volley  of 
energetic  oaths. 

181 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

The  Colonel  took  him  to  account  and  reminded 
him  that  he  had  agreed  to  let  him  (the  Colonel) 
do  all  the  swearing  of  the  regiment. 

"Yes,  I  did,  Colonel,"  he  replied.  "But  the 
fact  was,  the  swearing  had  to  be  done  then  or 
not  at  all,  and  you  weren't  there  to  do  it." 

Being  informed  of  the  death  of  John  Morgan, 
he  said,  "Well,  I  wouldn't  crow  over  anybody's 
death;  but  I  can  take  this  as  resignedly  as  any 
dispensation  of  Providence." 

The  President  was  once  speaking  about  an 
attack  made  on  him  by  the  Committee  on  the 
Conduct  of  the  War  for  a  certain  alleged  blunder, 
or  something  worse,  in  the  Southwest,  the  mat 
ter  involved  being  one  which  had  fallen  directly 
under  the  observation  of  the  officer  to  whom  he 
was  talking,  who  possessed  official  evidence  com 
pletely  upsetting  all  the  conclusions  of  the 
committee. 

"Might  it  not  be  well  for  me,"  queried  the 
officer,  "to  set  this  matter  right  in  a  letter  to 
some  paper,  stating  the  facts  as  they  actually 
transpired?" 

"Oh  no,"  replied  the  President;  "at  least, 
not  now.  If  I  were  to  try  to  read,  much  less 
answer,  all  the  attacks  made  on  me,  this  shop 

182 


THE    COMMANDER-JN-CHIEF 

might  as  well  be  closed  for  any  other  business. 
I  do  the  very  best  I  know  how — the  very  best  I 
can;  and  I  mean  to  keep  doing  so  until  the  end. 
If  the  end  brings  me  out  all  right,  what  is  said 
against  me  won't  amount  to  anything.  If  the 
end  brings  me  out  wrong,  ten  angels  swearing 
I  was  right  will  make  no  difference." 

"Well,"  said  Mr.  Lincoln,  on  a  certain  occa 
sion,  "I  feel  about  that  a  good  deal  as  a  man 
whom  I  will  call  'Jones,'  whom  I  once  knew, 
did  about  his  wife.  He  was  one  of  your  meek 
men,  and  had  the  reputation  of  being  badly 
henpecked.  At  last  one  day  his  wife  was  seen 
switching  him  out  of  the  house.  A  day  or  two 
afterward  a  friend  met  him  in  the  street,  and 
said:  'Jones,  I  have  always  stood  up  for  you, 
as  you  know;  but  I  am  not  going  to  do  it  any 
longer.  Any  man  who  will  stand  quietly  and 
take  a  switching  from  his  wife  deserves  to  be 
horsewhipped.5  Jones  looked  up  with  a  wink, 
patting  his  friend  on  the  back.  'Now,  don't,* 
said  he;  'why,  it  didn't  hurt  me  any;  and  you've 
no  idea  what  a  power  of  good  it  did  Sarah 
Ann!1  " 

Speaking  of  resentment,  he  said: 

"Perhaps  I  have  too  little  of  it;  but  I  never 

183 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

thought  it  paid.    A  man  has  no  time  to  spend 
half  his  life  in  quarrels." 

Once,  in  reply  to  a  delegation  of  bank  presi 
dents  who  urged  whether  it  was  not  time  to 
give  up  all  thought  of  the  Union,  he  told  the 
following  story: 

"When  I  was  a  young  man  in  Illinois  I  boarded 
for  a  time  with  the  deacon  of  the  Presbyterian 
church.  One  night  I  was  roused  from  my  sleep 
by  a  rap  at  the  door,  and  I  heard  the  deacon's 
voice  exclaiming,  'Arise,  Abraham!  The  Day  of 
Judgment  has  come!'  I  sprang  from  my  bed 
and  rushed  to  my  window,  and  saw  stars  falling 
in  great  showers;  but,  looking  back  of  them  in 
the  heavens,  I  saw  the  grand  old  constellations, 
with  which  I  was  so  well  acquainted,  fixed  and 
true  in  their  places.  Gentlemen,  the  world  did 
not  come  to  an  end  then,  nor  will  the  Union  now." 

He  could  be  stern  at  times,  and  when  the 
frantic  cry  arose  from  the  Northern  commercial 
interests  for  compromise,  he  said:  "They  seek 
a  sign,  and  none  shall  be  given  them.  ...  I 
am  not  insensible  to  any  commercial  or  finan 
cial  depression  that  may  exist,  but  nothing  is 
to  be  gained  by  fawning  around  the  'respectable 
scoundrels'  who  got  it  up.  Let  them  go  to  work 

184 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

to  repair  the  mischief  of  their  own  doing,  and  then 
perhaps  they  will  be  less  greedy  to  do  the  like 
again." 

As  President,  Lincoln  was  still  the  same  great 
democrat  he  had  always  been  as  a  citizen. 
During  the  four  awful  years  of  war  his  heart  and 
his  thoughts  were  always  with  the  soldier  in  the 
ranks — and  in  both  ranks,  for  the  North  and  the 
South  was  his  country.  So  intent  was  Lincoln 
upon  saving  all  unnecessary  suffering  that  the 
doorkeepers  had  standing  orders  from  him  that, 
no  matter  how  great  the  throng,  though  Senators 
and  Representatives  had  to  wait  or  to  go  away 
without  an  audience,  the  President  must  see 
before  the  day  closed  every  messenger  who  came 
to  him  with  a  petition  for  the  saving  of  a 
life. 

In  connection  with  this  he  once  said,  "Some 
of  our  generals  complain  that  I  impair  discipline 
in  the  army  by  my  pardons  and  respites,  but  it 
makes  me  rested  after  a  hard  day's  work  if  I 
can  find  some  good  excuse  for  saving  a  man's 
life,  and  I  go  to  bed  happy  as  I  think  how  joy 
ous  the  signing  of  my  name  will  make  him  and 
his  family  and  his  friends." 

Upon  a  petition  for  the  release  of  a  soldier 
condemned  to  death  Lincoln  wrote:  "What  pos- 

185 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

sible  injury  can  this  lad  work  upon  the  cause 
of  the  great  Union?    I  say,  let  him  go." 

It  is  a  lasting  loss  to  American  history  that 
there  was  not  a  special  secretary  at  the  White 
House  during  Lincoln's  administration  to  record 
the  stories  of  all  Lincoln's  pardons.  Think  of 
the  story  that  lies  back  of  the  short  and  simple 
order,  "Let  this  woman  have  her  boy." 

In  passing  upon  a  case  of  a  lad  condemned  to 
death  for  falling  asleep  upon  his  post,  Lincoln 
said:  "I  could  not  think  of  going  into  eternity 
with  the  blood  of  that  poor  young  man  on  my 
skirts.  It  is  not  to  be  wondered  at  that  a  boy 
raised  on  a  farm,  probably  in  the  habit  of  going 
to  bed  at  dark,  should,  when  required  to  watch, 
fall  asleep;  and  I  cannot  consent  to  shoot  him 
for  such  an  act."  The  impressive  sequel  of  this 
act  of  mercy  was  brought  to  light  when  the  dead 
body  of  this  soldier  boy  was  found  on  the  field 
of  Fredericksburg,  and  next  to  his  heart  a  pho 
tograph  of  the  President,  across  which  he  had 
written,  "God  bless  Abraham  Lincoln.'* 

After  pardoning  a  deserter  (condemned  to 
death),  in  answer  to  the  prayer  of  his  mother, 
Lincoln  said, "Perhaps  I  have  done  wrong,  but,  at 
all  events,  I  have  made  that  poor  woman  happy/' 

186 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

Speed  tells  of  a  scene  in  the  Presidential  office 
that  was  very  touching.  An  aged  mother  who 
had  been  pleading  for  the  liberty  of  her  boy,  and 
whose  petition  had  been  granted,  said,  as  she  was 
leaving,  "I  shall  probably  never  see  you  again 
until  we  meet  in  Heaven." 

Speed  remonstrated  with  Mr.  Lincoln,  urging 
that  he  had  no  business  to  expose  himself  to 
such  nerve-racking  scenes. 

"Things  of  the  sort  you  have  just  seen  don't 
hurt  me,"  insisted  Lincoln;  "it  is  the  only  thing 
to-day  that  has  made  me  forget  my  condition  or 
given  me  any  pleasure."  He  added,  "Die  when 
I  may,  I  want  it  said  of  me  by  those  who  knew 
me  best  that  I  plucked  a  thistle  and  planted  a 
flower  where  I  thought  a  flower  would  grow." 

The  President  kept  on  a  table  near  him  a  pile 
of  thin  blank  cards  on  which  he  penciled  some 
of  his  most  important  orders.  After  listening 
patiently  to  a  long  complaint  about  the  harsh  or 
unjust  treatment  some  chaplain,  soldier,  or  citi 
zen  had  suffered,  Mr.  Lincoln  took  grim  delight 
in  writing  to  the  Secretary  of  War: 

"DEAR  STANTON, — Let  up  on  So-and-so. 

"A.  LINCOLN." 

Once  it  became  Lincoln's  duty  to  give  an 
official  reprimand  to  a  young  officer  who  had 

187 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

been  court-martialed  for  a  quarrel  with  one  of 
his  associates.  The  reprimand  is  probably  the 
gentlest  record  in  the  annals  of  penal  discourses, 
and  it  shows  in  few  words  the  principles  which 
ruled  the  conduct  of  this  great  and  peaceable 
man. 

"The  advice  of  a  father  to  his  son,  'Beware 
of  entrance  to  a  quarrel,  but,  being  in,  bear  it, 
that  the  opposer  may  beware  of  thee/  is  good, 
but  not  the  best." 

"Quarrel  not  at  all.  No  man  resolved  to  make 
the  most  of  himself  can  spare  time  for  personal 
contention.  Still  less  can  he  afford  to  take  all 
the  consequences,  including  the  vitiation  of  his 
temper  and  the  loss  of  self-control. 

"Yield  larger  things  to  which  you  can  show 
no  more  than  equal  right;  and  yield  lesser  ones, 
though  clearly  your  own. 

"Better  give  your  path  to  a  dog  than  be  bitten 
by  him  in  contesting  for  the  right.  Even  killing 
the  dog  would  not  cure  the  bite." 

When  his  generals  remonstrated  with  him  for 
his  laxity  in  enforcing  army  rules,  he  never  could 
forget  that  after  all  a  volunteer  army  was  a  hu 
man  organization  and  that  every  soldier  was  a 
son  of  his.  And  when  it  is  considered  that  of 
two  and  a  half  million  enlistments  more  than 

188 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

two  million  were  boys  under  twenty-one,  and 
that  they  graded  all  the  way  down  to  fifteen, 
they  were  indeed  children. 

"There  are  already  too  many  weeping  wid 
ows,"  Lincoln  insisted,  when  objection  was  made 
because  he  had  forbidden  the  shooting  of  twenty- 
four  deserters  in  a  row;  "for  God's  sake,  don't 
ask  me  to  add  to  the  number,  for  I  won't  do  it." 

"They  are  shooting  a  boy  to-day,"  he  once 
said;  "I  hope  I  have  not  done  wrong  to  allow  it." 

"To-morrow  is  butcher's  day,"  he  said,  one 
Thursday,  as  he  was  looking  over  a  heap  of  sen 
tences  that  lay  upon  his  desk,  "and  I  must  go 
through  these  papers  and  see  if  I  can't  find  some 
excuse  to  let  these  poor  fellows  off." 

Appeals  for  clemency  were  made  to  him  at  all 
times  and  places.  Once  a  man  went  to  him  late 
at  night  and  aroused  him  from  his  slumbers. 
He  sat  up  in  his  night-clothes  suspending  the 
sentence  of  a  nineteen-year-old  boy  for  having 
fallen  asleep  at  his  post.  And  Lincoln  was  so 
troubled  lest  his  order  might  go  wrong  that  he 
dressed  himself  and  went  in  person  to  the  War 
Department.  Once  when  he  feared  that  a  sim 
ilar  order  might  go  astray  he  telegraphed  to  four 
persons.  Thousands  of  instances  might  be  mul 
tiplied.  "If  he  has  no  friend,  I'll  be  his  friend," 

189 


LINCOLN'S   OWN    STORIES 

he  said,  when  he  ordered  a  stay  of  a  sentence  that 
was  to  execute  a  soldier. 

The  most  whimsical  reason  for  granting  a  par 
don  was  that  given  to  a  German  girl,  who  came, 
poorly  dressed,  to  plead,  in  broken  English,  for 
the  life  of  her  brother,  who,  not  understanding 
English  very  well,  had  enlisted  and  deserted. 
The  President  said  to  her,  kindly: 

"I'll  be  whipped  if  I  don't  pardon  your  brother. 
Here  you  have  come  without  an  influential  friend 
to  help  you — but  you  seem  to  be  a  good,  honest 
girl."  Then  his  eye  fell  upon  her  scant  skirts. 
"Yes,  I'll  pardon  him — because — because — you 
don't  wear  hoops!" 

One  day  an  old  man  came  to  him  with  a  sad 
tale  of  sorrow.  His  boy  had  been  convicted  of 
unpardonable  crimes  and  sentenced  to  death, 
but  he  was  an  only  son;  and  Lincoln  said,  kindly: 

"I  am  sorry  I  can  do  nothing  for  you.  Listen 
to  this  telegram  I  received  from  General  Butler 
yesterday: 

"  'PRESIDENT  LINCOLN,  I  pray  you  not  to  in 
terfere  with  the  courts-martial  of  the  army.  You 
will  destroy  all  discipline  among  our  soldiers. 

"<B.  F.BUTLER.'" 

Lincoln  watched  the  old  man's  grief  for  a 
190 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

minute,  and  then  exclaimed,  "By  jingo!  Butler 
or  no  Butler,  here  goes!"  Writing  a  few  words, 
he  handed  the  paper  to  the  old  man,  reading: 

"Job  Smith  is  not  to  be  shot  until  further 
orders  from  me.  ABRAHAM  LINCOLN." 

"Why,"  said  the  old  man,  sadly,  "I  thought 
it  was  a  pardon.  You  may  order  him  to  be  shot 
next  week." 

"My  friend,"  replied  the  President,  "I  see  you 
are  not  very  well  acquainted  with  me.  If  your 
son  never  dies  till  orders  come  from  me  to 
shoot  him,  he  will  live  to  be  a  great  deal  older 
than  Methuselah." 

A  Congressman  who  had  failed  to  move  Sec 
retary  Stanton  to  grant  a  pardon  went  to  the 
White  House  late  at  night  after  the  President 
had  retired,  forced  the  way  to  his  bedroom,  and 
earnestly  besought  his  interference,  exclaiming 
earnestly: 

"This  man,  Mr.  Lincoln,  must  not  be  shot." 
"Well,"  said  the  President,  coolly,  "I  do  not 
believe  shooting  will  do  him  any  good,"  and  the 
pardon  was  granted. 

One  day  a  woman  accompanied  by  a  Senator 
called  on  the  President.  The  woman  was  the 
wife  of  one  of  Mosby's  men.  Her  husband  had 

191 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

been  captured,  tried,  and  condemned  to  be  shot. 
She  came  to  ask  for  his  pardon.  The  President 
heard  her  story,  and  then  asked  what  kind  of 
man  her  husband  was.  "Is  he  intemperate? 
Does  he  abuse  the  children  and  beat  you  ?"  "No, 
no,"  said  the  wife;  "he  is  a  good  man,  a  good 
husband;  he  loves  me,  and  he  loves  the  children, 
and  we  cannot  live  without  him.  The  only 
trouble  is  that  he  is  a  fool  about  politics.  I 
live  in  the  North,  born  there,  and  if  I  get  him 
home  he  will  do  no  more  fighting  for  the  South." 
"Well,"  said  Mr.  Lincoln,  after  examining  the 
papers,  "I  will  pardon  your  husband  and  turn 
him  over  to  you  for  safe  keeping."  The  poor 
woman,  overcome  with  joy,  sobbed  as  though 
her  heart  would  break. 

"My  dear  woman,"  said  Lincoln,  "if  I  had 
known  how  badly  it  was  going  to  make  you  feel, 
I  never  would  have  pardoned  him."  "You  do  not 
understand  me,"  she  cried,  between  her  sobs — 
"you  do  not  understand  me."  "Yes,  yes,  I  do," 
answered  the  President;  "and  if  you  do  not  go 
away  at  once  I  shall  be  crying  with  you." 

One  day  Judge  Holt,  the  Judge-Advocate  Gen 
eral  of  the  army,  in  laying  death-sentences  before 
the  President,  came  to  the  case  of  a  young  soldier 
who  in  battle  hid  behind  a  stump,  and  demoralized 

192 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

his  regiment  by  his  cowardice.  Lincoln  remarked, 
"Well,  I'll  have  to  put  that  with  my  leg  cases." 

"  Leg  cases !"  said  Judge  Holt.  "  What  do  you 
mean  by  leg  cases,  sir?" 

"Why,  why,"  replied  Mr.  Lincoln,  "do  you 
see  those  papers  crowded  into  those  pigeon 
holes?  They  are  the  cases  that  you  call  by  that 
long  title,  'cowardice  in  the  face  of  the  enemy,' 
but  I  call  them,  for  short,  my  'leg  cases.'  But  I 
put  it  to  you  to  decide  for  yourself:  If  Almighty 
God  gives  a  man  a  cowardly  pair  of  legs,  how 
can  he  help  their  running  away  with  him?" 

Chauncey  M.  Depew  tells  the  following: 
The  reception  held  by  the  President  day  by 
day  was  a  series  of  amusing  or  affecting  scenes. 
He  at  once  satisfied  and  reconciled  an  importu 
nate  but  lifelong  friend  who  wanted  a  mission  to 
a  distant  country  where  the  climate  was  very 
unhealthy  by  saying,  when  all  arguments  failed, 
"Strangers  die  there  soon,  and  I  have  already 
given  the  position  to  a  gentleman  whom  I  can 
better  spare  than  you." 

When  a  little  woman  whose  scant  raiment 
and  pinched  features  indicated  the  struggle  of 
respectability  with  poverty  secured,  after  days 
of  effort,  an  entrance  to  his  presence,  he  said, 

13  193 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

"Well,  my  good  woman,  what  can  I  do  for  you?" 
She  replied:  "My  son,  my  only  child,  is  a  soldier. 
His  regiment  was  near  enough  to  my  house  for 
him  to  take  a  day  and  run  over  and  see  his 
mother.  He  was  arrested  as  a  deserter  when  he 
re-entered  the  lines  and  condemned  to  be  shot, 
and  he  is  to  be  executed  to-morrow."  Hastily 
arising  from  his  chair,  the  President  left  Senators 
and  Congressmen  and  Generals,  and,  seizing  the 
little  woman  by  the  hand,  dragged  her  on  a  run, 
as  with  great  strides  he  marched  with  her  to 
the  office  of  the  Secretary  of  War.  She  could  not 
tell  where  the  regiment  then  was,  or  at  what 
place  or  in  what  division  the  execution  was  to 
take  place,  and  Stanton,  who  had  become  wearied 
with  the  President's  clemency,  which,  he  said, 
destroyed  discipline,  begged  the  President  to 
drop  the  matter;  but  Mr.  Lincoln,  rising,  said 
with  vehemence,  "I  will  not  be  balked  in  this. 
Send  this  message  to  every  headquarters,  every 
fort,  and  every  camp  in  the  United  States:  'Let 
no  military  execution  take  place  until  further 
orders  from  me.  A.  LINCOLN.'  " 

Another  instance  of  the  many  that  show  his 
gentleness  and  consideration  is  here  given: 

"The  case  of  Andrews  is  really  a  very  bad  one, 
as  appears  by  the  record  already  before  me. 

194 


"THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

Yet  before  receiving  this  I  had  ordered  his  pun 
ishment  commuted  to  imprisonment  with  hard 
labor  during  the  war,  and  had  so  telegraphed. 
I  did  this,  not  on  any  merit  in  the  case,  but 
because  I  am  trying  to  evade  the  butchering 
business  lately." 

An  officer  had  disobeyed,  or  failed  to  com 
prehend  an  order. 

"I  believe  I'll  sit  down,"  said  Secretary  Stan- 
ton,  "and  give  that  man  a  piece  of  my  mind." 

"Do  so,"  said  Lincoln;  "write  him  now  while 
you  have  it  on  your  mind.  Make  it  sharp.  Cut 
him  all  up." 

*•  Stanton  did  not  need  a  second  invitation.  It 
was  a  "  bone-crusher  "  that  he  read  to  the  Presi 
dent. 

"That's  right,"  said  Lincoln;  "that's  a  good 


one." 


"Whom  can  I  send  it  by?  "mused  the  Secretary. 

"Send  it!"  replied  Lincoln,  "send  it!  Why, 
don't  send  it  at  all.  Tear  it  up.  You  have  freed 
your  mind  on  the  subject,  and  that  is  all  that  is 
necessary.  Tear  it  up.  You  never  want  to  send 
such  letters.  I  never  do." 

Mr.  Lincoln's  language  in  ordinary  conversa 
tion  was  characterized  by  the  same  simplicity 
which  adorned  his  speeches. 

195 


LINCOLN'S   OWN    STORIES 

"You  never  swear,  Mr.  President,  do  you?** 
asked  a  prominent  Boston  man,  who  had  talked 
with  him  on  several  occasions. 

"Oh,  I  don't  have  to,"  he  laughed,  not  loud,  but 
deep.  "You  know  I  have  Stanton  in  my  Cabinet." 

This  may  have  been  a  reflection  upon  the 
virile  and  vitriolic  Secretary  of  War,  but  it  was  no 
less  a  delicate  compliment. 

One  morning  Mr.  Lincoln  met  a  well-preserved 
tramp  near  the  White  House  grounds.  The 
tramp  didn't  know  the  President,  and  struck  him 
for  the  loan  of  a  dime  to  save  him  from  immedi 
ate  starvation. 

"You  look  like  an  able-bodied  man,"  said  the 
President;  "why  don't  you  join  the  army?" 

"They  won't  let  me,"  whined  the  tramp. 
"I'd  be  glad  enough  to  die  for  my  country,  sir, 
if  they  would  give  me  the  chance." 

"Well,  maybe  I  can  be  of  service,"  said  Mr. 
Lincoln,  kindly.  Taking  an  envelop  and  pencil 
from  his  pocket  he  wrote  a  note  and  addressed 
it  to  the  officer  in  charge  of  the  recruiting  station 
near  by,  in  Fifteenth  Street.  "Take  that,"  he 
said,  passing  it  over,  "and  give  it  to  the  officer 
at  No.  714  Fifteenth  Street.  If  he  can't  do  any 
thing  for  you,  come  back  here  to  me.  I'm  just 
walking  around." 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

The  tramp  took  it  and  shuffled  away,  but  he 
never  came  back;  neither  did  he  go  to  the  re 
cruiting  office.  The  note  was  to  this  effect: 

"COLONEL  FIELDING, — The  bearer  is  anxious 
to  go  to  the  front  and  die  for  his  country.  Can't 
you  give  him  a  chance?" 

An  officer  once  forced  his  way  into  the  presence 
of  the  President  and  said  he  had  a  grievance  to 
lay  before  him  against  Sherman,rwho  had  threat 
ened  to  shoot  him. 

"Well,  if  I  were  you,  and  he  threatened  to  shoot, 
I  wouldn't  trust  him,  for  I  believe  he  would  do  it." 

A  gentleman  was  relating  to  the  President 
how  a  friend  of  his  had  been  driven  away  from 
New  Orleans  as  a  Unionist,  and  how,  on  his  ex 
pulsion,  when  he  asked  to  see  the  writ  by  which 
he  was  expelled,  the  deputation  which  called  on 
him  told  him  that  the  Government  had  made 
up  their  minds  to  do  nothing  illegal  and  so  they 
had  issued  no  illegal  writs,  and  simply  meant  to 
make  him  go  of  his  own  free  will.  "Well,"  said 
Mr.  Lincoln,  "that  reminds  me  of  a  hotel-keeper 
down  at  St.  Louis  who  boasted  that  he  never 
had  a  death  at  his  hotel,  for  whenever  a  guest  was 
dying  in  his  house  he  carried  him  out  to  die  in  the 
gutter." 

197 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

Once,  as  he  drove  up  to  a  hospital,  Lincoln  saw 
one  of  the  inmates  walking  directly  in  front  of 
his  team,  and  he  cried  out  to  the  driver  to  stop. 
The  horses  were  checked  none  too  soon  to  avoid 
running  the  man  down.  Then  Lincoln  saw  that 
the  poor  fellow,  only  a  boy,  had  been  shot  in 
both  eyes.  He  got  out  of  his  carriage,  and,  taking 
the  blind  soldier  by  the  hand,  asked  him  in 
trembling  tones  for  his  name,  his  service,  and  his 
residence.  "I  am  Abraham  Lincoln,"  he  him 
self  said  as  he  was  leaving,  and  the  sightless  face 
of  the  youth  was  lit  up  with  gratitude  as  he  lis 
tened  to  the  President's  words  of  honest  sym 
pathy.  The  next  day  the  chief  of  the  hospital 
laid  in  the  boy's  hands  a  commission  as  first 
lieutenant  in  the  army  of  the  United  States, 
bearing  the  President's  signature,  and  with  it 
an  order  retiring  him  on  three-quarters  pay  for 
the  years  of  helplessness  that  until  then  had 
stretched  before  him  through  a  hopeless  future. 

In  1862  the  people  of  New  York  City  feared 
bombardment  by  Confederate  cruisers,  and  public 
meetings  were  held  to  consider  the  gravity  of  the 
situation.  Finally  a  delegation  of  fifty  gentle 
men,  representing  hundreds  of  millions  of  dollars, 
was  selected  to  go  to  Washington  and  persuade 
the  President  to  detail  a  gunboat  to  protect  their 

198 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

property.  David  Davis,  while  on  the  Supreme 
Bench,  went  to  the  White  House  and  presented 
them  to  the  President. 

Mr.  Lincoln  heard  them  attentively,  much 
impressed,  apparently,  by  the  "hundreds  of 
millions/'  When  they  had  concluded,  he  said: 

"Gentlemen,  I  am,  by  the  Constitution,  Com- 
mander-in-Chief  of  the  Army  and  the  Navy  of  the 
United  States,  and  as  a  matter  of  law  I  can  order 
anything  to  be  done  that  is  practicable  to  be 
done.  I  am  in  command  of  the  gunboats  and 
ships  of  war;  but,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  I  do  not 
know  exactly  where  they  are.  I  presume  they 
are  actively  engaged,  and  it  is  therefore  im 
possible  for  me  to  furnish  you  with  a  gunboat. 
The  credit  of  the  Government  is  at  a  very  low 
ebb,  greenbacks  are  not  worth  more  than  forty 
or  fifty  cents  on  the  dollar;  and  in  this  condition 
of  things,  if  I  were  worth  half  as  much  as  you 
gentlemen  are  represented  to  be,  and  as  badly 
frightened  as  you  seem  to  be,  I  would  build  a 
gunboat  and  give  it  to  the  Government." 

Judge  Davis  said  he  never  saw  one  hundred 
millions  sink  to  such  insignificant  proportions  as 
it  did  when  the  delegation  left  the  White  House. 

When  the  war  was  still  only  half  over,  many 
people  at  the  North  felt  that  a  more  vigor- 

199 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

ous  policy  was  demanded.  There  had  been  a 
meeting  of  prominent  Northern  men,  including 
Governors  of  Northern  States.  They  passed  reso 
lutions  that  the  campaign  should  be  more  ag 
gressive,  and  commissioned  Mr.  Dixon  to  call 
on  Mr.  Lincoln,  tell  him  of  the  meeting,  and  read 
to  him  a  record  of  its  conclusions. 

Mr.  Dixon  said  that  he  undertook  the  task 
with  a  great  deal  of  satisfaction,  and  felt  like  a 
very  large-sized  man  when  he  went  up  to  the 
White  House  one  evening  to  deliver  himself  of 
his  mission. 

Mr.  Lincoln  listened  in  silence  to  what  Mr. 
Dixon  had  to  say,  a  silence  which  added  not  a 
little  to  the  impressiveness  of  the  latter's  elo 
quence.  When  Mr.  Dixon  was  done,  Mr.  Lincoln 
said  to  him: 

"Dixon,  you  are  a  good  fellow,  and  I  have  al 
ways  had  a  high  opinion  of  you.  It  is  needless 
for  me  to  add  that  what  comes  from  those  who 
sent  you  here  is  authoritative.  The  Governors 
of  the  Northern  States  are  the  North.  What 
they  decide  must  be  carried  out. 

"Still,  in  justice  to  myself,  you  must  remember 
that  Abraham  Lincoln  is  the  President  of  the 
United  States.  Anything  that  the  President  of 
the  United  States  does,  right  or  wrong,  will  be 
the  acts  of  Abraham  Lincoln,  and  Abraham  Lin- 

200 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

coin  will  by  the  people  be  held  responsible  for 
the  President's  actions. 

"But  I  have  a  proposition  to  make  to  you. 
Go  home  and  think  the  matter  over.  Come  to 
me  to-morrow  morning  at  nine  o'clock  and  I  will 
promise  to  do  anything  that  you  then  have  de 
termined  upon  as  right  and  proper.  Good  night." 

Mr.  Dixon  left  the  White  House  feeling  much 
larger  than  when  he  entered  it,  assured  that  the 
President  put  a  higher  value  upon  his  abilities 
than  he  had  himself  supposed.  Dismissing  this 
pleasant  thought,  he  consulted  with  himself  as  to 
what  should  be  done,  now  that  the  responsibility 
had  fallen  on  him  to  decide  the  policy  of  the 
President  of  the  United  States.  He  endeavored 
most  seriously  to  put  himself  in  the  place  of  the 
President  and  to  find  the  best  solution  for  the 
great  problems  which  must  be  met. 

Many  suggestions  occurred  to  him,  but  one 
after  another  was  dismissed  as  for  some  reason 
out  of  the  question.  When  morning  broke  he 
had  not  determined  upon  the  policy  which  he 
was  to  impose  upon  the  President.  He  decided 
not  to  go  to  the  White  House  that  morning.  He 
did  not  go  the  next  day,  nor  the  next. 

Indeed,  three  weeks  went  by  before  he  saw  the 
President.  Then  it  was  at  a  reception  at  Sec 
retary  Seward's,  and  Mr.  Dixon  tried  to  get  by 

201 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

him  in  the  crowd  without  attracting  special  at 
tention;  but  the  long  arm  of  the  President  shot 
out,  seized,  and  dragged  him  to  one  side. 

"By  the  way,  Dixon,"  said  Mr.  Lincoln,  "I 
believe  I  had  an  appointment  with  you  one 
morning  about  three  weeks  ago."  Mr.  Dixon  said 
he  recalled  something  of  the  sort.  "Where  have 
you  been  all  these  weeks?"  asked  the  President. 

"Here  in  Washington,"  said  Dixon;  "but,  to 
tell  the  truth,  Mr.  President,  I  have  decided 
never  to  keep  that  appointment." 

"I  thought  you  would  not  when  I  made  it  for 
you,"  was  Mr.  Lincoln's  comment. 

His  power  of  metaphor  is  well  illustrated  in 
this  message  to  Hooker  in  the  Gettysburg  cam 
paign:  "If  the  head  of  Lee's  army  is  at  Martins- 
burg  and  the  tail  of  it  on  the  plank  road  between 
Fredericksburg  and  Chancellorsville,  the  animal 
must  be  very  slim  somewhere.  Could  you  not 
break  him?" 

Letter  to  General  Hooker,  June  5,  1863:  "In 
one  word,  I  would  not  take  any  risk  of  being  en-< 
tangled  upon  the  river,  like  an  ox  jumped  half 
over  a  fence  and  liable  to  be  torn  by  dogs  front 
and  rear,  without  a  fair  chance  to  gore  one  way 
or  kick  the  other." 

202 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

After  the  battle  of  Gettysburg  Lincoln  urged 
Meade  in  a  peremptory  order  to  pursue  Lee  in 
his  retreat,  attack  him,  and  with  one  bold  stroke 
end  the  war.  A  friendly  note  came  with  it: 

"The  order  I  inclose  is  not  of  record.  If  you 
succeed,  you  need  not  publish  the  order.  If  you 
fail,  publish  it.  Then,  if  you  succeed,  you  will 
have  all  the  credit  of  the  movement.  If  not, 
I'll  take  all  the  responsibility." 

Is  there  in  our  history  a  more  generous  act,  a 
nobler  patriotism? 

Some  question  has  arisen  as  to  Mr.  Lincoln's 
religious  opinions,  but  this  story  illustrates  his 
attitude  toward  religion.  A  Southern  woman 
who  had  come  to  see  Lincoln  about  her  husband, 
who  was  confined  in  a  Northern  prison  because 
of  his  "pernicious  politics,"  mentioned  the  fact 
that  the  prisoner  was  a  religious  man. 

"I'm  glad  to  hear  that,"  said  Mr.  Lincoln, 
cheerfully;  and  the  lady  smiled  hopefully  in  re 
sponse.  Then  he  went  on,  "Because  any  man 
who  wants  to  disrupt  this  Union  needs  all  the 
religion  in  sight  to  save  him." 

Mr.  Lincoln's  love  for  the  soldiers  was  well 
known,  and  he  was  a  frequent  visitor  at  the 
hospitals  in  Washington.  A  young  doctor  was 

203 


LINCOLN'S   OWN    STORIES 

showing  him  around  one  afternoon  to  let  him 
speak  to  the  men.  The  guide  took  him  past  the 
entrance  to  a  large  room,  saying  that  he  didn't 
suppose  the  President  wanted  to  go  in  there,  as 
they  were  "only  rebels." 

"But  I  do  want  to  go  in  there,"  said  Lincoln, 
"and  don't  you  call  them  "rebels';  call  them 
'Johnnies.'  It  sounds  friendlier.  Would  you 
want  to  be  called  a ( Yank'  and  neglected  because 
you  did  the  best  you  knew?" 

It  is  doubtful  whether  in  all  history  or  in  all 
literature  there  may  be  found  a  tribute  at  once 
so  touching,  so  comprehensive,  and  so  happy  in 
expression  as  this.  Its  brevity  and  its  depth,  its 
sincerity  of  tone,  its  poetic  beauty,  make  Lincoln 
one  of  the  master  writers  of  epistolary  literature : 

"DEAR  MADAM, — I  have  been  shown,  in  the 
files  of  the  War  Department,  a  statement  of  the 
Adjutant-General  of  Massachusetts,  that  you  are 
the  mother  of  five  sons  who  have  died  gloriously 
on  the  field  of  battle. 

"I  feel  how  weak  and  fruitless  must  be  any 
words  of  mine  which  should  attempt  to  beguile 
you  from  a  loss  so  overwhelming.  But  I  cannot 
refrain  from  tendering  to  you  the  consolation 
that  may  be  found  in  the  thanks  of  the  Re 
public  they  died  to  save. 

204 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

"I  pray  that  our  Heavenly  Father  may  assuage 
the  anguish  of  your  bereavement,  and  leave  you 
only  the  cherished  memory  of  the  loved  and 
lost,  and  the  solemn  pride  that  must  be  yours  to 
have  laid  so  costly  a  sacrifice  upon  the  altar  of 
freedom. 

"Yours,  very  sincerely  and  respectfully, 

"ABRAHAM  LINCOLN. 
"To  Mrs.  Bixby,  Boston,  Mass." 

In  reply  to  a  committee  that  came  to  protest 
about  the  conduct  of  the  war  and  to  suggest 
changes,  Lincoln  told  the  following  anecdote: 

"Three  moves,  it  is  said,  are  worse  than  a  fire. 
There  was  a  family  in  western  Pennsylvania 
who  started  their  migrations  pretty  well  off  in  a 
worldly  way.  But  they  moved  and  moved,  hav 
ing  less  every  time  they  moved,  till  after  a  while 
they  could  carry  everything  in  one  wagon.  It 
was  said  that  the  chickens  of  the  family  got  so 
used  to  being  moved  that  whenever  they  saw 
the  wagon-sheets  brought  out  they  laid  them 
selves  on  their  backs  and  crossed  their  legs  ready 
to  be  tied." 

Lincoln's  remarkable  facility,  amounting  to 
genius,  for  saying  things  briefly  yet  with  wonder 
ful  appositeness  is  illustrated  in  the  following 

205 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

letter  written  to  Carl  Schurz.  It  contains  a  world 
of  humor,  and  yet  tells  its  own  story  in  its  own  re 
markable  and  peculiar  way.  Schurz  at  that  time 
took  issue  with  the  Administration  as  to  its 
policy,  and  the  following  letter  is  a  reply  to  his 
strictures : 

"You  think  I  could  do  better;  therefore,  you 
blame  me  already.  I  think  I  could  not  do  better; 
therefore,  I  blame  you  for  blaming  me.  I  under 
stand  you  now  to  be  willing  to  accept  the  help 
of  men  who  are  not  Republicans,  provided  they 
have  'heart  in  it.'  Agreed.  I  want  no  others. 
But  who  is  to  be  the  judge  of  hearts  or  of  'hearts 
in  it'?  If  I  must  discard  my  own  judgment  and 
take  yours  I  must  also  take  that  of  others;  and 
by  the  time  I  should  reject  all  I  should  be  ad 
vised  to  reject,  I  should  have  none  left,  Repub 
licans  or  others — not  even  yourself.  For  be 
assured,  my  dear  sir,  there  are  men  who  have 
'heart  in  it'  that  think  you  are  performing  your 
part  as  poorly  as  you  think  I  am  performing  mine." 

At  the  White  House  one  day  some  gentlemen 
from  the  West  were  much  excited  and  troubled 
about  the  commissions  or  omissions  of  the  Ad 
ministration.  The  President  heard  them  pa 
tiently,  and  then  replied:  "Gentlemen,  suppose 
all  the  property  you  were  worth  was  in  gold,  and 

206 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

you  had  put  it  in  the  hands  of  Blondin  to  carry 
across  the  Niagara  River  on  a  rope,  would  you 
shake  the  cable,  or  keep  shouting  out  to  him, 
'Blondin,  stand  up  a  little  straighter — Blondin, 
stoop  a  little  more — go  a  little  faster — lean  a 
little  more  to  the  north — lean  a  little  more  to 
the  south'?  No!  You  would  hold  your  breath 
as  well  as  your  tongue,  and  keep  your  hands 
off  until  he  was  safe  over.  The  Government  is 
carrying  an  immense  weight.  Untold  treasures 
are  in  their  hands.  They  are  doing  the  very  best 
they  can.  Don't  badger  them.  Keep  silence,  and 
we'll  get  you  safe  across." 

Lincoln  frequently  showed  that  he  could 
easily  avoid  a  direct  answer  and  evade  inquisi 
tive  visitors  when  he  thought  it  was  impolitic 
to  make  known  his  opinions.  One  of  the  latter 
wanted  to  know  his  opinion  of  Sheridan,  who 
had  just  come  from  the  West  to  take  command 
of  the  cavalry  under  Grant.  Said  Lincoln: 

"I  will  tell  you  just  what  kind  of  a  chap  he  is. 
He  is  one  of  those  long-armed  fellows  with  short 
legs  that  can  scratch  his  shins  without  having  to 
stoop  over  to  do  so." 

One  day,  when  the  vain  boasting  of  a  certain 
general  was  the  subject  of  discussion,  Lincoln 

207 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

was  "reminded"  of  a  farmer  out  in  Illinois  who 
was  in  the  habit  of  bragging  about  everything 
he  did  and  had  and  saw,  and  particularly  about 
his  crops.  While  driving  along  the  road  during 
the  haying  season  he  noticed  one  of  his  neigh 
bors  hauling  a  load  of  hay  into  his  barn.  He 
could  not  resist  the  opportunity,  and  commenced 
to  brag  about  the  size  of  his  hay  crop,  which, 
as  usual,  he  asserted  to  be  larger  and  better  than 
any  ever  before  known  in  the  county.  After  he 
had  finished  he  asked  what  kind  of  a  crop  his 
neighbor  had  put  in. 

"The  biggest  crop  you  ever  see!"  was  the 
prompt  reply.  "I've  got  so  much  hay  I  don't 
know  what  to  do  with  it.  I've  piled  up  all  I 
can  outdoors,  and  am  going  to  put  the  rest  of 
it  in  the  barn." 

A  gentleman  asked  Lincoln  to  give  him  a  pass 
through  the  Federal  lines  in  order  to  visit  Rich 
mond.  "I  should  be  very  happy  to  oblige  you," 
said  the  President,  "if  my  passes  were  respected; 
but  the  fact  is,  within  the  past  two  years  I  have 
given  passes  to  Richmond  to  two  hundred  and 
fifty  thousand  men,  and  not  one  has  got  there  yet." 

When  the  Sherman  expedition  which  captured 
Port  Royal  went  out,  there  was  a  great  curiosity 

208 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

to  know  where  it  had  gone.  A  person  with  un 
governable  curiosity  asked  the  President  the 
destination. 

"Will  you  keep  it  entirely  secret?"  asked  the 
President. 

"Oh  yes,  upon  my  honor." 

"Well,"  said  the  President,  "I  will  tell  you." 
Assuming  an  air  of  great  mystery  and  drawing 
the  man  close  to  him,  he  kept  him  awaiting  the 
revelation  with  great  anxiety,  and  then  said  in 
a  loud  whisper,  which  was  heard  all  over  the 
room,  "The  expedition  has  gone  to — sea." 

An  amusing  yet  touching  instance  of  the 
President's  preoccupation  of  mind  occurred  at 
one  of  his  levees,  when  he  was  shaking  hands  with 
a  host  of  visitors  passing  him  in  a  continuous 
stream.  An  intimate  acquaintance  received  the 
usual  conventional  handshake  and  salutation, 
but,  perceiving  that  he  was  not  recognized,  kept 
his  ground,  instead  of  moving  on,  and  spoke 
again;  then  the  President,  roused  by  dim  con 
sciousness  that  something  unusual  had  hap 
pened,  perceived  who  stood  before  him,  and, 
seizing  his  friend's  hand,  shook  it  again  heartily, 
saying,  "How  do  you  do?  Excuse  me  for  not 
noticing  you  at  first;  the  fact  is,  I  was  thinking 
of  a  man  down  South."  He  afterward  privately 
14  209 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

acknowledged  that  the  "man  down  South"  was 
Sherman,  then  on  his  march  to  the  sea. 

The  President  at  one  time  received  a  report 
that  one  of  our  Northern  friends  had  been  caught 
by  the  rebels  in  Virginia  and  condemned  to  death, 
the  choice  being  left  to  him  to  be  hanged  or  shot. 
The  writer,  who  was  present  when  this  report 
was  made,  says  that  a  trace  of  humor  passed 
over  Lincoln's  sad  face  when  he  said  he  was  re 
minded  of  a  camp-meeting  of  old  colored  Meth 
odists  in  his  earlier  days.  There  was  a  brother 
who  responded  often  and  with  much  enthusiasm 
to  the  preacher  with  "Amen"  and  "Bless  de 
Lawd,"  etc.  The  preacher  drew  a  strong  line, 
sweeping  the  sinners  on  both  sides  into  the  devil's 
net:  "All  those  who  thus  sin  are  in  the  downward 
path  to  ruin,  and  all  those  who  so  act,  including 
the  whole  human  race,  are  on  the  sure  road  to 
hell."  The  unctuous  brother,  bewildered,  cried 
out, "  Bless  de  Lawd,  dis  nigga  takes  to  de  woods." 

He  was  a  keen  and  inveterate  foe  of  all  kinds 
of  sham,  snobbery,  cant,  and  officialism. 

Col.  Silas  W.  Burt  and  several  military  friends 
called  on  President  Lincoln  on  business  for 
Governor  Seymour  of  New  York,  late  one  even 
ing  in  the  summer  of  '63.  As  they  were  about 
to  leave,  one  of  the  men,  a  certain  major,  under 

210 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

the  influence  of  liquor,  leered  at  Mr.  Lincoln  and, 
slapping  him  on  the  leg,  said: 

"Mr.  President,  tell  us  one  of  your  good  stories" 
— with  significant  emphasis  on  the  "good." 
Colonel  Burt  thus  refers  to  his  mortification: 

"If  the  floor  had  opened  and  dropped  me  out 
of  sight  I  should  have  been  happy.  The  Presi 
dent  drew  himself  up,  and,  turning  his  back  as 
far  as  possible  upon  the  major,  with  great  dig 
nity  addressed  the  rest  of  us,  saying: 

:  'I  believe  I  have  the  popular  reputation  of 
being  a  story-teller,  but  I  do  not  deserve  the  name 
in  its  general  sense,  for  it  is  not  the  story  itself, 
but  its  purpose  or  effect  that  interests  me.  I 
often  avoid  a  long  and  useless  discussion  by 
others,  or  a  laborious  explanation  on  my  own 
part,  by  a  short  story  that  illustrates  my  point 
of  view.  So,  too,  the  sharpness  of  a  refusal  or 
the  edge  of  a  rebuke  may  be  blunted  by  an  ap 
propriate  story  so  as  to  save  wounded  feelings 
and  yet  serve  the  purpose.  No,  I  am  not  simply 
a  story-teller,  but  story-telling  as  an  emollient 
saves  me  much  friction  and  distress.' ' 

In  1863  a  certain  captain  of  volunteers  was 
on  trial  in  Washington  for  a  misuse  of  the  funds 
of  his  company.  The  accused  officer  made  only 
a  feeble  defense,  and  seemed  to  treat  the  matter 

211 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

with  indifference.  After  a  while,  however,  a  new 
charge,  that  of  disloyalty  to  the  Government, 
came  into  the  case.  The  accused  was  at  once 
excited  to  a  high  degree  of  indignation,  and  made 
a  very  vigorous  defense.  He  appeared  to  think 
lightly  of  being  convicted  of  embezzling,  but  to 
be  called  a  traitor  was  more  than  he  could  bear. 
At  the  breakfast-table,  one  morning,  the  Presi 
dent,  who  had  been  reading  an  account  of  this 
case  in  the  newspaper,  began  to  laugh,  and  said: 
"This  fellow  reminds  me  of  a  juror  in  a  case  of 
hen-stealing  which  I  tried  in  Illinois  many  years 
ago.  The  accused  man  was  summarily  con 
victed.  After  adjournment  of  court,  as  I  was 
riding  to  the  next  town,  one  of  the  jurors  in  the 
case  came  cantering  up  behind  me  and  com 
plimented  me  on  the  vigor  with  which  I  had 
pressed  the  prosecution  of  the  unfortunate  hen- 
thief.  Then  he  added,  'Why,  when  I  was  young, 
and  my  back  was  strong,  and  the  country  was 
new,  I  didn't  mind  taking  off  a  sheep  now  and 
then.  But  stealing  hens!  Oh,  Jerusalem!' 
Now,  this  captain  has  evidently  been  stealing 
sheep,  and  that  is  as  much  as  he  can  bear." 

Charles  A.  Dana,  in  his  volume  of  recollections 
gives  a  rather  interesting  incident  illustrating 
Lincoln's  remarkable  shrewdness : 

212 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

"A  spy  whom  we  employed  to  report  to  us  the 
proceedings  of  the  Confederate  Government  and 
its  agents,  and  who  passed  continually  between 
Richmond  and  St.  Catherines,  reporting  at  the 
War  Department  upon  the  way,  had  come  in 
from  Canada  and  had  put  into  my  hands  an 
important  despatch  from  Clement  C.  Clay,  Jr., 
addressed  to  Mr.  Benjamin.  Of  course,  the  seal 
was  broken  and  the  paper  read  immediately. 
It  showed  unequivocally  that  the  Confederate 
agents  in  Canada  were  making  use  of  that 
country  as  a  starting-point  for  warlike  raids, 
which  were  to  be  directed  against  frontier  towns 
like  St.  Albans,  in  Vermont.  Mr.  Stanton 
thought  it  important  that  this  despatch  should 
be  retained  as  a  ground  of  reclamation  to  be 
addressed  to  the  British  Government.  It  was  on 
a  Sunday  that  it  arrived,  and  he  was  confined  to 
his  house  by  a  cold.  At  his  direction  I  went  over 
to  the  President  and  made  an  appointment  with 
him  to  be  at  the  Secretary's  house  after  church. 
At  the  appointed  hour  he  was  there,  and  I  read 
the  despatch  to  them.  Mr.  Stanton  stated  the 
reasons  why  it  should  be  retained,  and  before  decid 
ing  the  question  Mr.  Lincoln  turned  to  me,  saying : 

«< Well,  Dana?' 

"  I  observed  to  them  that  this  was  a  very  im 
portant  channel  of  communication,  and  that  if 

213 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

we  stopped  such  a  despatch  as  this  it  was  at  the 
risk  of  never  obtaining  any  more  information 
through  that  means. 

"'Oh/  sai'd  the  President,  'I  think  you  can 
manage  that.  Capture  the  messenger,  take  the 
despatch  from  him  by  force,  put  him  in  prison, 
and  then  let  him  escape.  If  he  has  made  Ben 
jamin  and  Clay  believe  his  lies  so  far,  he  won't 
have  any  difficulty  in  telling  them  new  ones  that 
will  answer  for  this  case.' 

"  This  direction  was  obeyed.  The  paper  was 
sealed  up  again  and  was  delivered  to  its  bearer. 
General  Augur,  who  commanded  the  district, 
was  directed  to  look  for  a  messenger  at  such-and- 
such  a  place  on  the  road  South  that  evening. 
The  man  was  brought  to  the  War  Department, 
searched,  the  paper  found  upon  him  and  identi 
fied,  and  he  was  committed  to  the  Old  Capitol 
Prison.  He  made  his  escape  about  a  week  later, 
being  fired  upon  by  the  guard.  A  large  reward 
for  his  capture  was  advertised  in  various  papers 
East  and  West,  and  when  he  reached  St.  Cath 
erines  with  his  arm  in  a  sling,  wounded  by  a  bullet 
which  had  passed  through  it,  his  story  was  be 
lieved  by  Clay  and  Thompson;  or,  at  any  rate, 
if  they  had  any  doubts  upon  the  subject,  they 
were  not  strong  enough  to  prevent  his  carrying 
their  messages  afterward." 

214 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

Coming  into  the  President's  room  one  day, 
Mr.  Stanton  said  that  he  had  received  a  telegram 
from  General  Mitchel,  in  Alabama,  asking  in 
structions.  He  did  not  quite  understand  the 
situation  down  there,  but,  having  full  confidence 
in  Mitch  el's  judgment,  had  answered,  "All  right; 
go  ahead." 

"Now,  Mr.  President,"  he  added,  "if  I  have 
made  an  error,  I  shall  have  to  get  you  to  counter 
mand  the  order." 

"Once  at  the  cross-roads  down  in  Kentucky, 
when  I  was  a  boy,  a  particularly  fine  horse  was 
to  be  sold,"  replied  Lincoln.  "They  had  a  small 
boy  to  ride  him  up  and  down.  One  man  whis 
pered  to  the  boy  as  he  went  by,  'Look  here,  boy, 
hain't  that  horse  got  splints?'  The  boy  replied, 
'Mister,  I  don't  know  what  splints  is;  but  if  it's 
good  for  him  he's  got  it,  and  if  it  ain't  good  for 
him  he  ain't  got  it.'  Now,"  added  Lincoln,  "I 
understand  that  if  this  is  good  for  Mitchel  it's 
all  right,  but  if  it's  not,  I  have  got  to  counter 
mand  it." 

Some  enemies  and  critics  of  General  Grant 
once  called  upon  Mr.  Lincoln  and  urged  him  to 
oust  Grant  from  his  command.  They  repeated 
with  malicious  intent  the  gossip  that  Grant 
drank.  "What  does  he  drink?"  asked  Lincoln. 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

"Whisky,"  was  the  answer,  "and  in  unusual 
quantities."  "Well,"  said  the  President,  "just 
find  out  what  particular  kind  he  uses,  and 
I'll  send  a  barrel  to  each  of  the  other  gen 
erals." 

When  again  pressed  on  other  grounds  to  get 
rid  of  Grant,  he  declared,  "I  can't  spare  that 
man;  he  fights." 

Wade  once  came  to  the  President  to  demand 
the  dismissal  of  Grant.  In  reply  to  one  of  his 
remarks  Lincoln  said,  "Senator,  that  reminds 
me  of  a  story." 

"Yes,  yes,"  Wade  replied,  "it  is  with  you,  sir, 
all  story,  story!  You  are  the  father  of  every 
military  blunder  that  has  been  made  during  the 
war.  You  are  on  your  road  to  hell,  sir,  with  this 
government,  by  your  obstinacy;  and  you  are 
not  a  mile  off  this  minute." 

Lincoln  answered,  "Senator,  that  is  just  about 
the  distance  from  here  to  the  Capitol,  is  it  not?" 
Wade,  as  Lincoln  put  it,  "grabbed  up  his  hat 
and  cane  and  went  away." 

Joseph  Medill,  editor  of  the  Chicago  Tribune, 
told  this  story  to  Miss  Tarbell.  Grant  had  made 
a  call  for  300,0x^0  men,  and  Lincoln  replied  that 
he  had  already  issued  a  call  for  500,000. 

216 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

"In  1864,  when  the  call  for  extra  troops  came, 
Chicago  revolted.  She  had  already  sent  22,000 
men  up  to  that  time,  and  was  drained.  When 
the  new  call  came,  there  were  no  young  men  to 
go,  no  aliens  except  what  were  bought.  The 
citizens  held  a  mass-meeting,  and  appointed  three 
persons,  of  whom  I  was  one,  to  go  to  Washing 
ton  and  ask  Stanton  to  give  Cook  County  a 
new  enrolment.  I  begged  off,  but  the  committee 
insisted,  so  I  went.  On  reaching  Washington, 
we  went  to  Stanton  with  our  statement.  He 
refused  entirely  to  give  us  the  desired  aid.  Then 
we  went  to  Lincoln.  'I  cannot  do  it/  he  said, 
'but  I  will  go  with  you  to  Stanton  and  hear  the 
arguments  of  both  sides.'  So  we  all  went  over 
to  the  War  Department  together.  Stanton  and 
General  Fry  were  there;  and  they,  of  course,  con 
tended  that  the  quota  should  not  be  changed. 
The  argument  went  on  for  some  time,  and  finally 
was  referred  to  Lincoln,  who  had  been  sitting 
silent,  listening.  I  shall  never  forget  how  he 
suddenly  lifted  his  head  and  turned  on  us  a 
black  and  frowning  face. 

"  'Gentlemen,'  he  said,  in  a  voice  full  of  bitter 
ness,  'after  Boston,  Chicago  has  been  the  chief 
instrument  in  bringing  this  war  on  the  country. 
The  Northwest  has  opposed  the  South,  as  New 
England  has  opposed  the  South.  It  is  you  who 

217 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

are  largely  responsible  for  making  blood  flow  as  it 
has.  You  called  for  war  until  we  had  it.  You 
called  for  emancipation,  and  I  have  given  it  to 
you.  Whatever  you  have  asked  for  you  have  had. 
Now  you  come  here  begging  to  be  let  off  from 
the  call  for  men  which  I  have  made  to  carry 
out  the  war  you  have  demanded.  You  ought 
to  be  ashamed  of  yourselves.  I  have  a  right  to 
expect  better  things  of  you.  Go  home,  and  raise 
your  6,000  extra  men.  And  you,  Medill,  you 
are  acting  like  a  coward.  You  and  your  Tribune 
have  had  more  influence  than  any  paper  in 
the  Northwest  in  making  this  war.  You  can 
influence  great  masses,  and  yet  you  cry  to 
be  spared  at  a  moment  when  your  cause 
is  suffering.  Go  home  and  send  us  those 


men/ 


"I  couldn't  say  anything.  It  was  the  first 
rime  I  ever  was  whipped,  and  I  didn't  have  an 
answer.  We  all  got  up  and  went  out,  and  when 
the  door  closed,  one  of  my  colleagues  said: 
'Well,  gentlemen,  the  old  man  is  right.  We 
ought  to  be  ashamed  of  ourselves.  Let  us  never 
say  anything  about  this,  but  go  home  and  raise 
the  men.'  And  we  did — 6,000  men — making 
28,000  in  the  war  from  a  city  of  156,000.  But 
there  might  have  been  crape  on  every  door 
almost  in  Chicago,  for  every  family  had  lost  a 

218 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

son  or  a  husband.  I  lost  two  brothers.  It  was 
hard  for  the  mothers." 

General  Fry  had  been  detailed  by  the  War 
Office  to  act  as  escort  to  the  President  on 
his  way  to  Gettysburg,  where  he  delivered  his 
immortal  address.  He  was  urged  to  make 
haste,  as  there  was  but  little  time  left  for  the 
train's  departure.  The  President  told  this  story: 

"I  feel  about  this  as  the  convict  in  one  of  our 
Illinois  towns  felt  when  he  was  going  to  the  gal 
lows.  As  he  passed  along  the  road  in  custody  of 
the  sheriff  the  people,  eager  to  see  the  execution, 
kept  crowding  and  pushing  past  him.  At  last  he 
called  out:  'Boys,  you  needn't  be  in  such  a  hurry 
to  get  ahead.  There  won't  be  any  fun  till  I  get 
there.'  " 

:  After  he  had  delivered  this  masterful  piece  of 
oratory,  which  has  been  compared  to  the  Sermon 
on  the  Mount,  he  turned  to  Lamon  and  said: 
"Lamon,  that  speech  won't  scour." 

No  collection  of  Lincolniana  is  really  complete 
without  his  greatest  masterpiece — the  famous 
Gettysburg  oration.  It  is  deservedly  placed 
and  ranked  among  the  world's  most  eloquent 
and  most  touching  orations.  Curiously,  its 
great  beauty,  its  masterly  construction,  its  ex- 

219 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

treme  simplicity  were  first  discerned  by  English 
men. 

"Fourscore  and  seven  years  ago  our  fathers 
brought  forth  on  this  continent  a  new  nation, 
conceived  in  liberty,  and  dedicated  to  the  propo 
sition  that  all  men  are  created  equal.  Now  we 
are  engaged  in  a  great  civil  war,  testing  whether 
that  nation,  or  any  nation  so  conceived  and  so 
dedicated,  can  long  endure.  We  are  met  on  a 
great  battle-field  of  that  war.  We  have  come  to 
dedicate  a  portion  of  that  field,  as  a  final  resting- 
place  for  those  who  here  gave  their  lives  that 
their  nation  might  live.  It  is  altogether  fitting 
and  proper  that  we  should  do  this.  But,  in  a 
larger  sense,  we  cannot  dedicate,  we  cannot 
consecrate,  we  cannot  hallow,  this  ground.  The 
brave  men,  living  and  dead,  who  struggled  here 
have  consecrated  it  far  above  our  power  to  add 
or  detract.  The  world  will  little  note,  nor  long 
remember,  what  we  say  here,  but  it  can  never 
forget  what  they  did  here.  It  is  for  us  the  living, 
rather,  to  be  dedicated  here  to  the  unfinished 
work  which  they  who  fought  here  have  thus  far 
so  nobly  advanced.  It  is  rather  for  us  to  be 
here  dedicated  to  the  great  task  remaining  before 
us;  that  from  these  honored  dead  we  take  in 
creased  devotion  to  that  cause  for  which  they 
gave  the  last  full  measure  of  devotion;  that  we 

220 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

here  highly  resolve  that  these  dead  shall  not 
have  died  in  vain,  that  this  nation,  under  God, 
shall  have  a  new  birth  of  freedom;  and  that 
government  of  the  people,  by  the  people,  for 
the  people,  shall  not  perish  from  the  earth." 

"I  wish,  Mr.  President,"  said  a  government 
official  after  a  disastrous  defeat  of  the  Union 
army,  "that  I  might  be  a  messenger  of  good 
news  instead  of  bad.  I  wish  I  could  tell  you 
how  to  conquer  or  to  get  rid  of  those  rebellious 
States." 

At  this  President  Lincoln  looked  up,  and  a 
smile  came  across  his  face  as  he  said:  "That  re 
minds  me  of  two  boys  out  in  Illinois  who  took 
a  short  cut  across  an  orchard.  When  they  were 
in  the  middle  of  the  field  they  saw  a  vicious  dog 
bounding  toward  them.  One  of  the  boys  was  sly 
enough  to  climb  a  tree,  but  the  other  ran  around 
the  tree,  with  the  dog  following.  He  kept  running 
until,  by  making  smaller  circles  than  it  was  pos 
sible  for  his  pursuer  to  make,  he  gained  upon  the 
dog  sufficiently  to  grasp  his  tail.  He  held  on  to 
the  tail  with  a  desperate  grip  until  nearly  ex 
hausted,  when  he  called  to  the  boy  up  the  tree 
to  come  down  and  help. 

"'What  for?'  said  the  boy, 

"  'I  want  you  to  help  me  let  this  dog  go.' 

221 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

"Now,"  concluded  the  President,  "if  I  could 
only  let  the  rebel  States  go,  it  would  be  all  right. 
But  I  am  compelled  to  hold  on  to  them  and  make 
them  stay." 

But  even  in  the  darkest  days  of  the  Rebellion 
he  gave  himself  up  to  the  lighter  things,  saying, 
"I  laugh  because  I  must  not  cry;  that's  all — 
that's  all." 

So  when  Hood's  army  was  destroyed  by 
Thomas  in  December,  1864,  the  President  told 
this  story: 

"A  certain  rough,  rude,  and  bullying  man  in 
our  county  had  a  bulldog,  which  was  as  rude, 
rough,  and  bullying  as  his  master.  Dog  and  man 
were  the  terror  of  the  neighborhood.  Nobody 
dared  to  touch  either  for  fear  of  the  other.  But 
a  crafty  neighbor  laid  a  plan  to  dispose  of  the 
dog.  Seeing  Slocum  and  his  dog  plodding  along 
the  road  one  day,  the  dog  a  little  ahead,  this 
neighbor,  who  was  prepared  for  the  occasion, 
took  from  his  pocket  a  chunk  of  meat,  in  which 
he  had  concealed  a  big  charge  of  powder,  to 
which  was  fastened  a  deadwood  slow-match. 
This  he  lighted  and  then  threw  into  the  road. 
The  dog  gave  one  gulp  at  it,  and  the  whole  thing 
disappeared  down  his  throat.  He  trotted  on  a 
few  steps,  when  there  was  a  sort  of  smothered 

222 


THE    COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF 

roar,  the  dog  blew  up  in  fragments,  a  fore  quarter 
being  lodged  in  a  neighboring  tree,  a  hind  quar 
ter  on  the  roof  of  a  cabin,  and  the  rest  scattered 
along  the  dusty  road.  Slocum  came  up  and 
viewed  the  remains.  Then,  more  in  sorrow  than 
in  anger,  he  said,  'Bill  war  a  good  dawg;  but,  as 
a  dawg,  I  reckon  his  usefulness  is  over/  '  The 
President  added,  with  a  twinkle  of  his  eye, 
"Hood's  army  was  a  good  army.  We  have  been 
very  much  afraid  of  it.  But,  as  an  army,  I 
reckon  its  usefulness  is  gone." 

It  was  in  the  last  days  of  the  great  struggle, 
when  the  armies  of  Grant  and  Lee  were  in  the 
throes  of  the  final  fight  for  the  possession  of  the 
Old  Dominion  that  Lincoln  watched  them  from 
the  rear.  "How  many  prisoners?"  he  asked, 
eagerly.  Every  prisoner  meant  a  merciful  ending 
and  a  saving  of  life. 

On  the  night  of  the  surrender  of  Lee  at  Ap- 
pomattox  Mr.  Lincoln  was  serenaded  by  many 
friends  and  enthusiastic  Northerners.  He  made 
the  usual  kindly  conciliatory  speech,  and  cor 
dially  invited  the  erring  States  to  come  back  into 
the  family. 

The  band  played  all  sorts  of  patriotic  airs — 
"Columbia,  the  Gem  of  the  Ocean,"  "Star- 

223 


LINCOLN'S    OWN    STORIES 

spangled  Banner,"  and  others.  Mr.  Lincoln, 
looking  toward  the  band-master,  suggested: 

"Play  *  Dixie'  now.    It's  ours." 

So  throughout  his  whole  career  his  attitude 
was  generous  toward  the  South/ 


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